Neighbor Announces Plans To Run Leafblower Non-Stop Forever | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    OMAHA, NE     Local neighbor Joe Sheaps has made a formal announcement revealing his plans to run his leafblower non-stop until the end of time.

    Sheaps says his six-cylinder, turbo-prop, high-capacity, zero-muffler leafblower will remain on until the earth falls into the ever-burning seas of the sun or until trees stop dropping their goshdarn leaves.

    "There's always leaves in the yard, so I'll always have my leafblower going in this eternal battle for a perfect yard," yelled the neighbor while deftly corralling a stray leaf into his 187th leaf pile of the year. "Yard looks good though, doesn't it?"

    "And also, I shall commence at 6 AM."

    Neighbors to the local neighbor expressed concern over their neighbor's plans to always be blowing leaves as he may send strays into their yards where they are constantly blowing leaves into piles using their own leafblowers.

    At publishing time, Sheaps had also announced plans to keep the rake you loaned him until the earth is no longer orbiting around the sun.