President Xi Confirms Chinese Ban On Bibles Does Not Apply To ‘The Message’ | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SHANGHAI     In response to some confusion around China's ongoing ban on Bibles, President Xi called a press conference to confirm an exception to his prohibition on God's Holy Word will be made for a popular version known as "The Message."

    "Yes, that one is ok," he said to state media reporters on Thursday. "All our research shows this particular version of the Christian scriptures poses no danger of strengthening the church or endangering the Communist Party in any way."

    "Everyone may read 'The Message' as often as they'd like!"

    The Message, a paraphrased text translated by Eugene Peterson into whimsical meanderings vaguely resembling some of the ideas contained in scripture, has been fully endorsed by the CCP for Christian congregations in their country. "It's really great reading," said one CCP official. "Really makes you feel good inside. Like warm rice or a Joel Osteen sermon."

    At publishing time, the CCP has also approved limited numbers of Christian books, including the complete works of Russell Moore.