After being freed from slavery by the God of Abraham, witnessing 10 terrible plagues against Pharaoh, and walking across the Red Sea on dry ground to escape from Egypt's army, Kemuel son of Bahram, of the tribe of Benjamin, is demanding to be brought back to die in Egypt
Published: Saturday, March 11th, 2023 @ 5:08 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Surprising results from a recent study have conclusively shown that just 0.01% of all trail mix is actually eaten by people while they are on a trail.
Published: Wednesday, March 8th, 2023 @ 3:42 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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President Biden paid a visit to Ukraine to reaffirm America's unwavering commitment to the country's democracy, sovereignty, and military-industrial complex while also picking up a few things Hunter asked about, including his paycheck.
Published: Thursday, February 23rd, 2023 @ 2:30 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A 15th-century shipwreck discovered in the 1970s continues to reveal what was traveling with King John of Denmark and how the ruling class lived.
Published: Saturday, February 18th, 2023 @ 10:59 am
By: Daily Wire
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Local lawmakers and citizens alike were surprised to find that legalizing the recreational use of marijuana produced no negative results, except for the fact that the entire city now smells like weed.
Published: Saturday, February 18th, 2023 @ 9:38 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Service League endowment is natural progression of volunteers’ dedication
Published: Monday, February 13th, 2023 @ 6:33 am
By: ECU News Services
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A local mother caused irreparable harm to her teenage son today, committing the cardinal sin of existing outside of the family home and being visible to anyone he knows.
Published: Saturday, February 11th, 2023 @ 12:40 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Recalled product area and list
Published: Monday, February 6th, 2023 @ 12:09 pm
By: Countrygirl1411
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Theologians at the Claremont School of Theology put forward additional evidence that God has a sense of humor by pointing out that 1 out of every 20 pistachios tastes like flaming hot garbage.
Published: Tuesday, January 31st, 2023 @ 9:09 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Following a long-awaited and much-publicized visit to the U.S.-Mexico border, President Joe Biden sought to reassure the American people that the nation's southern border is every bit as secure as America's elections.
Published: Wednesday, January 11th, 2023 @ 8:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Twitter reduced and nixed a number of employee benefits as Elon Musk tries to slash costs at the company.
Published: Wednesday, January 11th, 2023 @ 7:10 am
By: Daily Wire
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Beaufort County Community College always strives to remember the “community” in its name.
Published: Tuesday, December 6th, 2022 @ 9:10 am
By: Attila Nemecz
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The Pennsylvania House of Representatives voted on Wednesday to impeach controversial Philadelphia District Attorney Larry Krasner (D-PA).
Published: Saturday, November 26th, 2022 @ 9:29 am
By: Daily Wire
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It is illegal in North Carolina to give anything "of value whatsoever" in exchange for voting
Published: Monday, November 21st, 2022 @ 12:15 am
By: John Locke Foundation
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As the date of next week's midterm elections approaches, President Joe Biden used his Wednesday night address to warn everyone that the results may not immediately be known because it may take several days for enough Democrat votes to be harvested and double-counted.
Published: Thursday, November 10th, 2022 @ 11:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
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New York has unveiled its new tent shelter for the city’s growing migrant population, complete with XBoxes, big-screen televisions, and couches.
Published: Tuesday, October 25th, 2022 @ 1:50 pm
By: Daily Wire
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In a speech given to a vast crowd of twelve, President Joe Biden officially declared "Make America Great Again" to be the three most dangerous words in the world.
Published: Wednesday, October 19th, 2022 @ 6:27 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Adam Harp is always boiling over with enthusiasm, even if it is for activities that are at the opposite ends of the spectrum.
Published: Tuesday, October 18th, 2022 @ 11:33 pm
By: Attila Nemecz
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The Child and Adult Care Food Program helps eligible children and adults access healthy, nutritious food by reimbursing qualified child care programs, adult day programs and other non-residential care programs for meals and snacks served to participants.
Published: Sunday, October 2nd, 2022 @ 11:43 pm
By: Eastern NC NOW Staff
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A local Star Wars fan was excitedly awaiting the premiere of the new Andor series on Disney+ so that he will have fresh material about which he can spend the next several weeks complaining to anyone who dares to come near him.
Published: Wednesday, September 28th, 2022 @ 9:18 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Senior Florida officials said Monday that the 50 illegal immigrants that were flown to Martha’s Vineyard last week were effectively “wandering homeless along the border” before they were flown to the sanctuary city.
Published: Monday, September 26th, 2022 @ 1:30 am
By: Daily Wire
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While President Joe Biden was sipping tea and snacking on crumpets in jolly ol’ England on Sunday, an interview he taped with CBS’s “60 Minutes” aired back in his home country.
Published: Friday, September 23rd, 2022 @ 9:05 am
By: Daily Wire
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SunTree Snack Foods will create 94 new jobs in Wayne County, Governor Roy Cooper announced today. The company will invest $10.1 million to establish an East Coast manufacturing site in Goldsboro.
Published: Thursday, September 22nd, 2022 @ 9:21 am
By: Governor's Office
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New dad Lowell Cherry said that he is recovering well after a trying ordeal in the delivery room for the birth of his fifth child.
Published: Wednesday, August 31st, 2022 @ 6:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Apple has added an exciting new reality show to its streaming lineup which will follow the Clintons around as they murder anyone who might have dirt on them.
Published: Wednesday, August 31st, 2022 @ 5:09 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Scholars have finally confirmed that it's not necessary to say a blessing for pre-meal chips and salsa, as they were already blessed in eternity past before the foundations of the world.
Published: Friday, August 19th, 2022 @ 5:06 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Starting the in 1970s, teacher unions began politicizing teacher spending on classroom items
Published: Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 @ 6:55 pm
By: John Locke Foundation
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Maybe it's just me, but I am having a hard time reconciling what's going on at the southern border with what occurred on January 6th on the Capitol grounds.
Published: Friday, July 8th, 2022 @ 8:52 pm
By: John Lacava
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Pride Month officially concludes June 30th with a series of explicit parades and orgies, but community activists have assured as many as would listen that they are not going anywhere.
Published: Wednesday, July 6th, 2022 @ 8:30 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Despite working from home, local man Jarron Bullenix learned today that his lifestyle is anything but sedentary when he rose for his second cupboard visit before noon, causing his Apple Watch to congratulate him for hitting his daily “Stand” goal.
Published: Thursday, June 30th, 2022 @ 1:17 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Ruby Rose, who played Kate Kane in the CW’s “Batwoman” TV Show, claimed last week that she left the show in 2020 because of terrible working conditions.
Published: Wednesday, June 29th, 2022 @ 7:20 am
By: Daily Wire
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In the fast-paced time of today, people often overlook how important it is to keep your health and well-being in check.
Published: Sunday, June 12th, 2022 @ 11:08 am
By: Francesca
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Snack food company, Lotus Bakeries, will create 62 new jobs in Alamance County, Governor Roy Cooper announced today.
Published: Friday, June 10th, 2022 @ 12:26 pm
By: Governor's Office
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According to White House sources, President Biden tuned in to the latest White House press conference this afternoon in an attempt to find out what his policy positions are.
Published: Thursday, June 9th, 2022 @ 10:45 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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