Karine Jean-Pierre Says Biden Has Done More To Preserve Democracy Than Any Other Dictator In HistoryAt a press conference this week, the White House Press Secretary assured members of the media President Biden has done more to preserve democracy in the U.S. than any other totalitarian dictator in history.
Published: Monday, May 6th, 2024 @ 12:12 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Disney executives announced an upcoming installment in the popular Star Wars franchise that will feature a female Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.
Published: Thursday, April 4th, 2024 @ 6:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The Christmas candy was barely off the shelves when the Valentine’s candy appeared. Red and pink hearts with caramel and nut-filled chocolate goodness caught our eye. We are reminded of how we love love. Young love, especially.
Published: Friday, March 29th, 2024 @ 11:27 pm
By: Lib Campbell
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Prepare to be spooked! Forget the scary costumes; “shrinkflation” is a silent yet subtle disruptor that has infiltrated the candy aisle this year, spiking by thirteen percent since last year.
Published: Sunday, March 24th, 2024 @ 9:07 am
By: John Locke Foundation
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President Joe Biden took a few questions during a brief ice cream break with NBC late-night host and comedian Seth Meyers, telling reporters he hoped the United States could help facilitate a ceasefire in Gaza by Monday.
Published: Saturday, March 16th, 2024 @ 4:41 pm
By: Daily Wire
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In a 4-3 decision, the Colorado Supreme Court will require Masterpiece Cakeshop owner Jack Phillips must bake a celebration cake honoring the Colorado Supreme Court's decision to remove Trump from the ballot.
Published: Sunday, March 10th, 2024 @ 2:27 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Gone are the days when you could just ship your kids off to the public school system every day and trust them to come out still sane and reasonably educated. But what are the alternatives?
Published: Tuesday, March 5th, 2024 @ 1:01 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Senate Democrat chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee criticized President Biden for his reelection campaign joining the Chinese platform TikTok.
Published: Monday, February 26th, 2024 @ 8:35 am
By: Daily Wire
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Opening at 20-1 that the rookie from Clemson would score a TD, as he had in the regular season, da Bears' loving public steamed the wager down to 4-1 by kickoff.
Published: Thursday, February 8th, 2024 @ 2:51 pm
By: The Correspondent
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A local man experienced an unsettling feeling this morning after growing skeptical that Count Chocula cereal may not actually be "part of a complete breakfast," as advertised.
Published: Tuesday, January 2nd, 2024 @ 10:48 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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RALEIGH: As children across North Carolina eagerly await Christmas Eve tonight, North Carolina Emergency Management (NCEM) officials briefed Gov. Cooper on state preparations to monitor Santa’s progress and offer any assistance necessary as he delivers presents to homes across the world.
Published: Tuesday, December 26th, 2023 @ 8:28 am
By: Governor's Office
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RALEIGH: With Christmas right around the corner, Governor Roy Cooper and North Carolina Emergency Management (NCEM) will once again be monitoring Santa’s progress as he approaches North Carolina.
Published: Friday, December 22nd, 2023 @ 8:33 am
By: Governor's Office
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The Louise R. Lester Foundation Library at Beaufort County Community College will host Spanish professor Ana Jimenez-Leary on November 9 as part of its Community Voices program.
Published: Tuesday, November 21st, 2023 @ 3:25 pm
By: Attila Nemecz
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We're several days into a new school year, and if your kid hasn't been suspended yet, you may need to take a hard look at what type of child you're raising.
Published: Monday, November 6th, 2023 @ 6:56 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After tragedy struck a local family last night, local dad Jordan Duckworth bore the unenviable task of notifying his children that a burglar had broken into their home and stolen all of the Reese's peanut butter cups they had received while trick-or-treating.
Published: Sunday, November 5th, 2023 @ 9:33 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local parents of three Tom and Sarah Briggs got away this weekend for a steamy, romantic interlude consisting of hours and hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Published: Wednesday, October 18th, 2023 @ 5:50 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A lawsuit brought by former members of Lizzo's backup dance team is alleging the corpulent singer terrorized them by eating them and their entire families.
Published: Friday, September 29th, 2023 @ 11:45 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Tensions rose in the White House today after President Joe Biden called an urgent meeting with top administration members. According to reports, the team convened in the White House Situation Room to have a leisurely discussion about the weather.
Published: Thursday, September 28th, 2023 @ 11:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Members of the Upper House shuffled excitedly down the hall on their way to lunch Thursday after hearing Congressional chefs were prepping something special in addition to their usual meal of strained peas and blended cube steak.
Published: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 @ 6:34 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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With the rumor mill still churning despite the Secret Service closing its investigation, President Joe Biden blamed the presence of cocaine in the West Wing of the White House on a black man who used to live there.
Published: Monday, September 18th, 2023 @ 2:54 am
By: Babylon Bee
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As an appeal to garner more public interest, Daily Wire co-founder and CEO Jeremy Boreing has announced he has hidden five golden Jeremy's Razors in five different Jeremy's Chocolate bars.
Published: Monday, July 24th, 2023 @ 8:36 am
By: Babylon Bee
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As part of his administration's expanding efforts to celebrate Pride Month, President Joe Biden has announced the Iwo Jima memorial will be updated to feature the Pride flag.
Published: Saturday, July 22nd, 2023 @ 10:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The White House and GOP announced a deal has been reached on the debt ceiling after Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy offered Biden two entire pints of chocolate chip ice cream.
Published: Friday, June 30th, 2023 @ 9:59 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Daily Wire Editor Emeritus Ben Shapiro issued a challenge to corporate America and warned that they could be next following the boycott of Bud Light and Target over their promotion of issues like transgender ideology.
Published: Tuesday, June 13th, 2023 @ 2:35 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Authorities have been dispatched to a local residence after disturbing reports that a set of parents — who are clearly deranged psychopaths — lit a chocolate cake on fire and then gave it to an innocent child.
Published: Wednesday, June 7th, 2023 @ 2:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local one year old Ryker Thomas has come under fire after appearing in blackface at his first birthday party.
Published: Tuesday, June 6th, 2023 @ 4:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A historic discovery was made today as a brave adventurer uncovered an internet article long thought to be lost forever underneath layers upon layers of pop-up ads, privacy policies, and newsletter sign-up appeals.
Published: Sunday, May 7th, 2023 @ 8:40 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Fox News host Tucker Carlson unloaded on the far-left transgender movement during a monologue this week after a transgender shooter murdered six people, including three children, at a Christian school in Nashville.
Published: Sunday, April 16th, 2023 @ 5:59 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The National Transportation Safety Board has opened an investigation into the explosion last week at a Pennsylvania chocolate factory that left several people dead.
Published: Sunday, April 16th, 2023 @ 8:58 am
By: Daily Wire
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President Joe Biden addressed the Nashville school shooting from the White House on Monday, quickly turning the tragedy into a push for tighter gun control — but first he opened with a joke about ice cream.
Published: Friday, April 14th, 2023 @ 1:50 am
By: Daily Wire
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Sources close to President Biden claim the elderly politician was initially nervous and worried upon hearing a president was going to be indicted for shady deals and suspect business transactions
Published: Thursday, April 13th, 2023 @ 5:48 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The best-selling author of all time outside of William Shakespeare can now join fellow British authors Roald Dahl and Ian Fleming by suffering the ignominy of having her books edited for woke purposes.
Published: Thursday, April 13th, 2023 @ 1:54 am
By: Daily Wire
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Footage emerged of a massive explosion at a chocolate factory in Pennsylvania on Friday evening that left multiple casualties.
Published: Wednesday, April 12th, 2023 @ 9:48 am
By: Daily Wire
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A local man found himself embroiled in controversy today as he was accused of perpetrating "digital orangeface" after sharing a Donald Trump meme on Twitter.
Published: Monday, April 10th, 2023 @ 2:13 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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