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There are many people who overlook the brilliance of the US Constitution. They argue that it is outdated and unfit to adequately govern such a modern nation as ours in the 21st century.
Published: Friday, July 4th, 2025 @ 4:41 am
By: Diane Rufino
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Dorothy Mae Whited Atkins was granted her reward in Paradise on Friday, December 6, 2024.
Published: Monday, December 9th, 2024 @ 7:05 am
By: Announcements
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Green Day Releases Edgy New Album Titled 'Get The Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, And Trump Is Bad'Hot on the heels of its highly publicized television performance on New Year's Eve, the pop-punk band Green Day announced the release of an edgy new album titled Get the Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, and Trump Is Bad.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 11:44 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Journalist and reformed bow-tie enthusiast Tucker Carlson recently returned home from a trip to Russia with glowing reviews of the former Soviet Union and its leader, President Vladimir Putin.
Published: Thursday, February 22nd, 2024 @ 9:24 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Revelation chapter 20 verses 11 through 15
Published: Sunday, February 4th, 2024 @ 9:54 pm
By: Countrygirl1411
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Jeremy Dunning, an obviously savage Neanderthal who lives in a cave within the Albuquerque city limits, reportedly has been heard on multiple occasions stating that he just doesn't think Weird Al is all that funny.
Published: Saturday, December 2nd, 2023 @ 11:00 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The Polar Express has officially won the title of "Best Christmas Movie" amongst deranged, psychotic serial killers.
Published: Saturday, December 2nd, 2023 @ 9:28 am
By: Babylon Bee
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While every state in the Union is way better than France, each has its upsides and downsides. We at The Babylon Bee have collected for you the biggest pros and cons of living in all fifty of these United States:
Published: Wednesday, October 11th, 2023 @ 11:10 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Legendary singer Jimmy Buffett passed away Friday, September 1. He was 76.
Published: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 @ 11:11 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Maui residents, angered by President Joe Biden’s presence on their island Monday, greeted the president’s motorcade with a one-finger salute and caustic chants of “f*** Joe Biden.”
Published: Tuesday, September 19th, 2023 @ 1:15 am
By: Daily Wire
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Hawaiian Electric is under scrutiny for allegedly slow-walking modernization and repairs of its electrical grid before the fire that ripped through the island of Maui last week.
Published: Thursday, September 14th, 2023 @ 9:29 am
By: Daily Wire
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A local trailer park has come under fire, with visitors and prospective residents alike accusing its name "Paradise Oasis" of being at least somewhat of a noticeable exaggeration.
Published: Tuesday, September 12th, 2023 @ 9:09 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Trump made a statement from his Florida resort on Wednesday, responding to DeSantis's announcement he was running for President. In it, he attacked his opponent for mismanaging the state so badly that only a really dumb idiot would ever want to live there.
Published: Sunday, June 25th, 2023 @ 1:05 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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According to heavenly sources, Dave Ramsey will now be stationed outside of the pearly gates to judge people based on how well they stuck to their budget.
Published: Wednesday, May 10th, 2023 @ 6:35 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Bible scholars now believe the verse in Genesis about people being naked and without shame was a prophecy about Walmart customers.
Published: Monday, May 8th, 2023 @ 4:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Reports are flying in of an event that sounds too crazy to be true. In an absolute highlight of his week, local man Jobert Philipps ate a burger alone in the peace and quiet of his car.
Published: Thursday, April 20th, 2023 @ 5:28 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a stunning reversal, Congresswoman Lauren Boebert of Colorado has reportedly decided not to spend eternity in Heaven after finding out there won't be firearms there. The lawmaker made her choice following a disappointing conversation with her pastor.
Published: Saturday, February 11th, 2023 @ 7:40 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Hey folks, Bernie Sanders here! I am once again asking for your support in eradicating systemic poverty from the face of the earth. America can do it, but we won't because America is immoral and Elon Musk has all the money.
Published: Sunday, January 29th, 2023 @ 9:21 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Having gotten into a game of hide-and-seek with the omniscient God of the universe, Adam and Eve reported feeling confident that the Lord would never find them in their perfect hiding spot behind a tree.
Published: Wednesday, January 11th, 2023 @ 8:04 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A local man breathed a sigh of relief at the gates of Heaven as he entered the hereafter today, receiving a "Well done" commendation from God Almighty for spending his life arguing with other people in the comments section of YouTube videos.
Published: Monday, January 9th, 2023 @ 8:06 am
By: Babylon Bee
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While many believe essential oils to be a modern Christian phenomenon, these potent extracts actually played a role in some of Scripture's most familiar narratives!
Published: Saturday, January 7th, 2023 @ 1:19 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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While some have called trading Britney Griner for Russia's "Merchant Of Death" the worst trade in the history of trades, the Biden administration isn't done yet! Here are 10 more trades our Commander-In-Chief is planning to make before 2023 is over.
Published: Saturday, December 17th, 2022 @ 1:16 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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With 11 minutes of estimated assembly time and a single Allen wrench as a required toolset, the $38 IKEA bunk bed has been rated as "probably safe."
Published: Thursday, December 15th, 2022 @ 9:57 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Actress Julia Roberts revealed in a recent interview that Civil Rights icon Martin Luther King Jr. had paid her mother’s hospital bill after she was born.
Published: Sunday, December 11th, 2022 @ 10:05 am
By: Daily Wire
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A local man was suddenly struck with fear as he stood in line to enter Heaven when Saint Peter unexpectedly asked him to answer how many warriors were in the tribe of Simeon at the time of the Exodus.
Published: Wednesday, November 2nd, 2022 @ 1:47 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Tesla CEO Elon Musk warned on Sunday that Austin, Texas, needs to be its own city and not become a “copycat” of San Francisco, one of the most far-left cities in the United States.
Published: Saturday, August 20th, 2022 @ 8:32 am
By: Daily Wire
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Even with the COVID-19 restrictions lifted, Americans have been slow to return to church. Churches need to appeal to a broader, more diverse population if they hope to compete!
Published: Tuesday, August 2nd, 2022 @ 3:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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We get it. It's hard to read the divinely inspired word of the creator of the universe. He's so judgy! But, since your salvation might depend on it, you better get some great excuses ready to share on Judgment Day.
Published: Friday, July 29th, 2022 @ 1:02 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After a steady exodus of people fleeing to Texas to escape oppression under Governor Gavin Newsom's rule, there has been a sudden outcry for a return to the ‘coastal paradise' amid rising temperatures in the Lone Star State.
Published: Friday, July 29th, 2022 @ 12:37 am
By: Babylon Bee
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According to sources within the heavenly realm, the promised reward of a mansion for all believers will be augmented for VBS volunteers with the gift of a brand new, perfect Tesla upon arrival.
Published: Friday, July 8th, 2022 @ 2:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Fresh off being banished from paradise, Adam and Eve are blaming cancel culture for their sudden expulsion.
Published: Thursday, July 7th, 2022 @ 4:44 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Freedoms from God
Published: Saturday, July 2nd, 2022 @ 10:25 am
By: Countrygirl1411
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Now that Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom and his cronies have ruined their state and inflation is crushing households, thousands of Californians are reversing the typical pattern and moving to Mexico.
Published: Wednesday, June 15th, 2022 @ 11:36 pm
By: Daily Wire
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