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Dread it. Run from it. 2024 has arrived all the same. But fear not as the team at The Babylon Bee has been hard at work for you coming up with the most probable, and completely accurate 2024 predictions to help you make it through the New Year.
Dread it. Run from it. 2024 has arrived all the same. But fear not as the team at The Babylon Bee has been hard at work for you coming up with the most probable, and completely accurate 2024 predictions to help you make it through the New Year.
 
Xi 2022: "We will never promise to renounce the use of force and we reserve the option of taking all measures necessary.”
Xi 2022: "We will never promise to renounce the use of force and we reserve the option of taking all measures necessary.”
 
In a bold pledge, a local family has announced it will accomplish all of its Christmas gift shopping early this year, despite the fact that they will, once again, all be scrambling to stores at 5 P.M. on Christmas Eve later this year.
In a bold pledge, a local family has announced it will accomplish all of its Christmas gift shopping early this year, despite the fact that they will, once again, all be scrambling to stores at 5 P.M. on Christmas Eve later this year.
 
Charlotte’s office delinquency rates is at 30%, well above the national average of around 5%.
 
As the midpoint of the Atlantic hurricane season approaches, victims of Hurricanes Matthew and Florence are still waiting to return home years later.
As the midpoint of the Atlantic hurricane season approaches, victims of Hurricanes Matthew and Florence are still waiting to return home years later.
 
Former chair of the Federal Communications Commission Ajit Pai ripped into plans by his former agency to reintroduce “net neutrality” regulations, saying that they were unnecessary and an “utter waste of time.”
Former chair of the Federal Communications Commission Ajit Pai ripped into plans by his former agency to reintroduce “net neutrality” regulations, saying that they were unnecessary and an “utter waste of time.”
 
Americans are expected to spend more on food through the rest of 2023 and into 2024 as prices continue to rise even as President Joe Biden touts his record on inflation and “Bidenomics.”
Americans are expected to spend more on food through the rest of 2023 and into 2024 as prices continue to rise even as President Joe Biden touts his record on inflation and “Bidenomics.”
 
“Global warming” is out, “global boiling” is in, United Nations Secretary-General Antonio Guterres announced Thursday.
“Global warming” is out, “global boiling” is in, United Nations Secretary-General Antonio Guterres announced Thursday.
 
According to a new report, flight delays and cancellations will plague the airline industry for the next ten years due to the shortage in the aviation industry of commercial pilots, mechanics and air traffic controllers.
According to a new report, flight delays and cancellations will plague the airline industry for the next ten years due to the shortage in the aviation industry of commercial pilots, mechanics and air traffic controllers.
 
Expressing happiness was also associated with conservatism.
 
Half of a trillion dollars was budgeted in the 2021 Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act (IIJA) for federal, state and local governments to create plans over the next five years for rebuilding or expanding their infrastructure systems.
Half of a trillion dollars was budgeted in the 2021 Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act (IIJA) for federal, state and local governments to create plans over the next five years for rebuilding or expanding their infrastructure systems.
 
It would appear the end of the world has been postponed long enough for former child environmental star Greta Thunberg to be awarded an honorary doctorate from the University of Helsinki.
It would appear the end of the world has been postponed long enough for former child environmental star Greta Thunberg to be awarded an honorary doctorate from the University of Helsinki.
 
Comedian Bill Maher said during an interview this week that Florida Republican Governor Ron DeSantis is the only candidate that can beat former President Donald Trump in the 2024 Republican presidential primary
Comedian Bill Maher said during an interview this week that Florida Republican Governor Ron DeSantis is the only candidate that can beat former President Donald Trump in the 2024 Republican presidential primary
 
The belief that North Carolina’s electricity-based CO2 emissions are still going up is wrong; they’ve fallen by 46.1 percent since 2005
The belief that North Carolina’s electricity-based CO2 emissions are still going up is wrong; they’ve fallen by 46.1 percent since 2005
 
The United States is tracking a high-flying, suspected Chinese spy balloon over the lower 48 states.
The United States is tracking a high-flying, suspected Chinese spy balloon over the lower 48 states.
 
The world’s largest gathering of busybodies — AKA the World Economic Forum — is happening right now in Davos, Switzerland, leaving many to wonder who will step up and tell these know-it-alls to kick rocks.
The world’s largest gathering of busybodies — AKA the World Economic Forum — is happening right now in Davos, Switzerland, leaving many to wonder who will step up and tell these know-it-alls to kick rocks.
 
Daily Wire Editor Emeritus Ben Shapiro reacted to “60 Minutes” hosting Stanford University biology professor Paul Ehrlich to discuss purported risks of overpopulation, even though his body of work has been repeatedly proven wrong over the past half-century.
Daily Wire Editor Emeritus Ben Shapiro reacted to “60 Minutes” hosting Stanford University biology professor Paul Ehrlich to discuss purported risks of overpopulation, even though his body of work has been repeatedly proven wrong over the past half-century.
 
This week, 60 Minutes host Scott Pelley held a sit-down interview on the universe's ecological sustainability with a figure who has been both dismissed as a doomsdayer and celebrated as humanity's best hope for longevity on earth: Thanos.
This week, 60 Minutes host Scott Pelley held a sit-down interview on the universe's ecological sustainability with a figure who has been both dismissed as a doomsdayer and celebrated as humanity's best hope for longevity on earth: Thanos.
 
One of the worst years for stocks in recent decades came after President Joe Biden made a series of rosy predictions about their performance.
One of the worst years for stocks in recent decades came after President Joe Biden made a series of rosy predictions about their performance.
 
It's that time of year again - when the mystic oracles at The Babylon Bee tell you what will happen in the next year with 100% accuracy! Will 2023 be better than this year? You decide!
It's that time of year again - when the mystic oracles at The Babylon Bee tell you what will happen in the next year with 100% accuracy! Will 2023 be better than this year? You decide!
 
RALEIGH: Today, Governor Cooper and staff from the Governor’s Office met with officials from Duke Energy to ask questions about the causes of power outages over the Christmas holiday, December 24, 25, and 26, and understand utility leaders’ plans to avoid similar outages
RALEIGH: Today, Governor Cooper and staff from the Governor’s Office met with officials from Duke Energy to ask questions about the causes of power outages over the Christmas holiday, December 24, 25, and 26, and understand utility leaders’ plans to avoid similar outages
 
The Republican National Committee needs new leadership to beat the Democrats at their finely tuned ballot-gathering mastery, would-be party chair Harmeet Dhillon told The Daily Wire’s Ben Shapiro.
The Republican National Committee needs new leadership to beat the Democrats at their finely tuned ballot-gathering mastery, would-be party chair Harmeet Dhillon told The Daily Wire’s Ben Shapiro.
 
Was it just me or did Christmas come too early? Yes, it's always December 25th, but it seemed like we were still eating Halloween candy when Christmas neighbor goodies started showing up on our doorstep.
Was it just me or did Christmas come too early? Yes, it's always December 25th, but it seemed like we were still eating Halloween candy when Christmas neighbor goodies started showing up on our doorstep.
 
The North Carolina Democratic party saw significant movement in their party leadership recently, with more likely to come. WRAL’s Paul Specht in a long-winded but excellent report the departure of the state Democratic party executive director
The North Carolina Democratic party saw significant movement in their party leadership recently, with more likely to come. WRAL’s Paul Specht in a long-winded but excellent report the departure of the state Democratic party executive director
 
House Minority Leader Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) wants to become speaker of the House, but at least five Republicans have said they won’t support him.
House Minority Leader Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) wants to become speaker of the House, but at least five Republicans have said they won’t support him.
 
American retail expenditures declined 0.6% between October and November, according to data released on Thursday by the Census Bureau.
American retail expenditures declined 0.6% between October and November, according to data released on Thursday by the Census Bureau.
 
My previous post discussed a critical omission from Emily Oster’s wish for a Covid “amnesty”: there’s no repentance, not even an apology.
My previous post discussed a critical omission from Emily Oster’s wish for a Covid “amnesty”: there’s no repentance, not even an apology.
 
A faculty perspective on academia’s “professional managerial class.”
 
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