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A rescue team was able to locate and extract a local man who had been buried after inadvertently triggering a massive avalanche of his wife's bottles from a shelf in the shower. A fire department spokesman, however, said the man remains hospitalized.
Published: Monday, January 1st, 2024 @ 10:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local man John Archer has decided to resume wearing a mask in order to let everyone around him know he's terrible at risk analysis.
Published: Monday, November 6th, 2023 @ 10:25 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The archaeological world celebrated a remarkable discovery this week, as an excavation team announced the discovery of a bottle of Herbal Essences shampoo believed to have belonged to the ancient biblical hero Samson.
Published: Thursday, November 2nd, 2023 @ 8:51 am
By: Babylon Bee
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So far, the Fresno Unified School District has refused to agree.
Published: Thursday, November 2nd, 2023 @ 12:56 am
By: Daily Wire
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Ladies, we know you want us. Who wouldn't? Every woman wants a guy who spends all his time talking about Tolkien and Star Wars and playing Zelda, but how can you attract one? It's an age-old question, but thankfully, there are very simple answers.
Published: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 @ 11:14 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In response to the recent indictment by a federal grand jury for the mishandling of classified information, Donald Trump's attorneys have argued all 37 charges should be dropped because their client was simply bored of reading the back of the shampoo bottle
Published: Friday, July 21st, 2023 @ 12:36 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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If you’re drinking water directly from the tap, there’s a chance it contains potentially harmful “forever chemicals,” according to a study released Wednesday by the United States Geological Survey (USGS).
Published: Thursday, July 20th, 2023 @ 9:10 am
By: Daily Wire
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President Biden has retired for the weekend to his beach house in Delaware, enjoying a well-deserved rest after working a brutal five hours over this past week.
Published: Sunday, June 11th, 2023 @ 2:09 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Many are praising President Biden for his swift and decisive leadership this morning. In a set of forceful and clear remarks to the country's financial system, he called on all banks to stop collapsing immediately.
Published: Monday, March 20th, 2023 @ 11:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Things were pretty good in the Garden of Eden, but then Adam and Eve had to ruin it by eating from the one tree God explicitly told them not to touch. Ugh!
Published: Thursday, March 16th, 2023 @ 6:34 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Following the horrific accident that sidelined Hawkeye, the remaining Avengers have reportedly joined forces to strike back against the villainous Snow Plow.
Published: Tuesday, January 10th, 2023 @ 12:00 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Man scientists released new health guidelines for personal hygiene on Wednesday by confirming the validity of a well-established tradition: washing your hair and letting the shampoo just sort of run down the rest of you is good enough.
Published: Wednesday, December 14th, 2022 @ 6:50 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The FBI raided former President Trump's Mar-a-Lago home and found incriminating evidence that he was once President of the United States of America!
Published: Friday, August 12th, 2022 @ 1:10 am
By: Babylon Bee
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President Biden awarded the Medal of Freedom to Megan Rapinoe today, but was devastated to learn that her pink hair doesn't actually smell like strawberries.
Published: Monday, July 11th, 2022 @ 10:50 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Beaufort County Community College is partnering with Tapers, Fades, Beards & Baldies in Chocowinity to start the BCCC Barber Academy.
Published: Monday, April 18th, 2022 @ 11:37 am
By: Attila Nemecz
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More than 400 Family Dollar locations in six states temporarily closed Sunday after the U.S. Food and Drug Administration discovered a large rodent infestation at one of the discount retailer’s distribution centers.
Published: Sunday, March 20th, 2022 @ 11:14 am
By: Daily Wire
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Oil more than fuel
Published: Monday, March 14th, 2022 @ 11:08 am
By: Countrygirl1411
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Remarks by President Biden on the COVID-19 Response and the State of Vaccinations
Published: Tuesday, April 27th, 2021 @ 8:15 am
By: Stan Deatherage
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Back at the rabbitpatch, all was well. The boxer did his "homecoming dance" and Christopher Robin "sang for his supper" as he always does, the minute I arrive.
Published: Friday, March 27th, 2020 @ 8:39 am
By: Stan Deatherage
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It finally rained -and that changed everything. After weeks of blistering heat that wilted flowers and spirits, a cool wind blew and then the rain fell.
Published: Thursday, August 8th, 2019 @ 9:12 am
By: Michele Rhem
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It rained last night. Evening showers came and "settled the dust", revived the countryside and cooled the air.
Published: Tuesday, July 16th, 2019 @ 6:52 pm
By: Michele Rhem
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The eve of the new year dawned quietly. The sky simply became a silvery blue.
Published: Thursday, January 3rd, 2019 @ 7:07 am
By: Michele Rhem
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The first day of December has dawned, quietly and subtly.
Published: Saturday, December 15th, 2018 @ 1:25 pm
By: Michele Rhem
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The Automatic External Defibrilators (AEDs) donated by Vidant Health have now been deployed throughout campus. The AEDs will improve our ability to provide assistance in medical emergencies.
Published: Thursday, January 7th, 2016 @ 5:12 am
By: Barbara Tansey
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In rural eastern North Carolina, septic systems are the primary way sewage is treated. While the systems are simple yet effective, some experts now wonder if the systems and the rules governing their installation are sufficient to keep ground and surface water clean from the modern synthetic...
Published: Tuesday, January 20th, 2015 @ 7:32 pm
By: ECU News Services
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Governor Pat McCrory and N.C. Commerce Secretary Sharon Decker, along with the Economic Development Partnership of N.C., announced today that 163 new jobs will be coming to Randolph County. Technimark, a provider of plastic injection molding services, will expand in Asheboro and is planning to...
Published: Friday, November 7th, 2014 @ 7:26 pm
By: Chris Downey
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Whether you turn first toward the family, friends, government, nonprofit groups, or business to solve society’s largest problems, you might find some interest in the latest work from William Eggers.
Published: Monday, June 30th, 2014 @ 8:09 am
By: John Locke Foundation
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The Beaufort County Community College Board of Trustees on Tuesday agreed to seek an increase in appropriations from the Beaufort County Board of Commissioners in the coming fiscal year with the majority of the increase coming from needed construction projects.
Published: Thursday, April 17th, 2014 @ 10:30 am
By: Barbara Tansey
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Vice President of Continuing Education Chet Jarman, Director of EMS Programs Steve Taylor and I met with the Beaufort County Board of Commissioners this week to advise them of training opportunities available at BCCC for first responders.
Published: Monday, December 9th, 2013 @ 7:51 pm
By: Barbara Tansey
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