Priests Reveal: Top 12 Strangest Confessions | Eastern North Carolina Now | Ever done something so completely bizarre and embarrassing, you feel like no one else could possibly relate?

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Ever done something so completely bizarre and embarrassing, you feel like no one else could possibly relate? After a little cajoling, we got some priests to spill the beans on the weirdest confessions they have ever heard. All of these are one hundred percent real, and one hundred percent terrifying...there are some real freaks out there!

  1. "I was once kind to a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints" - Mortifying!
  2. "I accidentally used my wife's conditioner in the shower and totally loved the way it made my hair feel" - Easy there, groomer.
  3. "I watched The Last Jedi twice" - It's kind of scary to think these psychos are part of our society and we don't know who they are.
  4. "I certified a national election and handed the reins of a great country over to an angry, demented septuagenarian" - We've all been there, let's be honest.
  5. "I tried a gluten-free soup at a friend's house, and I didn't completely hate it" - Shame! Shame!
  6. "I once paid for a Netflix account" - Ha! What a dummy!!
  7. "I think Caitlyn Jenner is actually kind of hot" - Yeah, this guy needs a priest.
  8. "I was once mean to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez because I was mad that I couldn't date her" - Holy crap, she was right all along!!
  9. "I wear workout clothes all the time so whenever it's hot outside and I get sweaty, people will think I've been working out" - Pretty twisted.
  10. "Sometimes I pretend not to hear my children crying to see if my wife will take care of it" - Such depravity!
  11. "I skimmed a few boring parts in Lord of the Rings, like that Tom Bombadil section" - There's not enough penance in the world for such behavior.
  12. "I once felt kind of sorry for Hunter Biden" - Sympathy? What a weirdo!!

    We thank the kind priests who violated their vow of confidentiality to bring us this list. Perhaps you can relate to one of these confessions - if you're a total loon!
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Man Skipping Church Secretly Judging All The Heathens He Meets Who Don't Go To Church Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics World In Panic As Science Announces Retirement


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

The months-long drought in southern Texas has ended after local woman Stacy Ramage emptied all the water bottles from her nightstand into the water supply.
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky announced on Friday that his nation has formally submitted an expedited application to become a member of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO).
Voter I.D. garners more support than the president or the governor
The full measure of Hurricane Ian‘s coast-to-coast trail of death and devastation in Florida was revealed as dawn broke Friday, including at least 19 deaths, countless homes washed out to sea, and millions without power
Stacey Abrams turned the medical world upside-down earlier this week with her revelation that heartbeats are a complete scam, concocted to trick women into thinking babies are alive.
Florida first lady Casey DeSantis announced Thursday evening that within just a few hours of activating the Florida Disaster Fund that more than $10 million has been raised to support communities impacted by Hurricane Ian.
Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) said during an interview Thursday night that he believes that there has been “retaliation” taken against FBI whistleblowers who have exposed alleged problems within the Bureau in recent weeks.
Military experts believe the Russian war effort may be in trouble after Vladimir Putin was seen attempting to teach polar bears how to drive tanks.
The U.S. Senate passed a stopgap bill Thursday, seeking to avoid a partial government shutdown while also sending billions of dollars more to Ukraine.

HbAD1

Sunday is the least popular day to vote in most counties that offer one-stop voting on those days
Vice President Kamala Harris (D) faced mockery Thursday over a series of events that unfolded during her trip to South Korea.
Local man John Falco received the tragic news today from his doctor that all the things happening to his body are completely normal, he's simply 40 years old now.
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) claimed during a House hearing Thursday that abortion was an economic issue because if women are not allowed to have an abortion, then parents are effectively “conscripted” to work against their will.
Big Tech is a govenrment actor and violating our free speech rights
Ian expected to strengthen into Category 1 Hurricane before making landfall in South Carolina
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (R) has provided an update on estimated fatalities as a result of Hurricane Ian after Sheriff Carmine Marceno said during an interview Thursday morning that he believed hundreds of people had been killed.

HbAD2

If you've ever wondered if you should leave a church, wonder no more – The Babylon Bee is here to help! Here are 10 solid, biblically-defensible excuses for leaving a church that's not serving you enough:
The Biden administration is signaling that it wants to blunt any rightward turn by Israel in the event that Benjamin Netanyahu returns to power, singling out one potential ally of the former prime minister as “a huge problem for us.”
A second Raleigh healthcare company executive has pled guilty to defrauding the Medicare system for millions of dollars.
A medical doctor at Planned Parenthood falsely claimed during a House Oversight Committee hearing on Thursday that men can get pregnant and have babies.
Former President Bill Clinton (D) told CNN this week that there was a limit to how many migrants the U.S. can take in before the country experiences a severe disruption which flies in the face of what other Democrats have advocated for.
"In the end the whole point of doing it is so that you get a sample that is representative of the electorate,” said Brock McCleary, vice president of Cygnal Polling and Analytics
A video posted on social media by law enforcement in Lee County, Florida, showed massive devastation from Hurricane Ian throughout the area surrounding the coastal city of Fort Myers.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top