NFL To Provide All Refs Seeing-Eye Dogs | Eastern North Carolina Now | To help improve the accuracy of calls on the field, the National Football League will now provide each referee with a seeing-eye dog.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    ATLANTA, GA     To help improve the accuracy of calls on the field, the National Football League will now provide each referee with a seeing-eye dog.

    "What'd you see, Fido? Bark twice if there was holding!" yelled Shawn Hochuli at his new service dog. "Good boy. Does the red team still have the ball? Oh crap, I forgot you're colorblind, Fido!"

    The NFL made the move to provide service dogs as part of a concerted effort to raise the level of officiating. "We are really hoping to reach a point where at least occasionally, a call makes sense," said commissioner Roger Goodell. "It's a big ask of these canines to comprehend the intricacies of what's a 'rub route' and what's 'pass interference', but we feel confident they will be more accurate than our current system of a blind man taking a wild guess. Or, excuse me, a blind woman taking a wild guess."

    Thus far, the seeing-eye dogs have been welcomed heartily by officials and players alike. "It's a massive improvement already," said Philadelphia quarterback Jalen Hurts. "The dogs at least guide the refs out of the way when play starts - and a couple of the smarter pups have already caught on to 'offsides', and other simple penalties. They've also eliminated those embarrassing moments when the poor referee does the whole penalty announcement facing the wrong direction. Visual impairment is tough, man."

    At publishing time, Atlanta fans across the nation were reportedly screaming about how Fido is so unbelievably biased against the Falcons.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Common Sense America with Eden Hill Interviews Craig Tubiolo-Syracusa and New York Tenor Christopher Macchio Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Politifact Rates Biden's Claim That 'Made In America' Is Two Words As 'Mostly True'


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Congress is set to come together and vote on the Respect For Giant Golden Statue Of Nebuchadnezzar Act, or the RFGGSON Act for short.
The U.S. announced on Friday that it is banning the sale and import of certain technology from several Chinese companies after national security concerns.
The North Carolina Medium- and Heavy-Duty Electric Vehicle State Policy Bootcamp and Showcase emphasizes the importance of electric vehicles across the state
Americans currently recovering from the most expensive turkey comas in recent memory must now prepare for complications in Christmas tree markets that will lead to higher prices.
Witnesses say StackedPAC gave items in exchange for voting. The group is not legally registered to operate in North Carolina.
Unvaccinated New York City workers scored a victory Monday after a New York Supreme Court judge ruled the city’s vaccine mandate for all city employees is arbitrary, capricious, and unconstitutional.
What a year 2022 has been! We have so much to be thankful for at the Bee. The world may be a roiling cauldron of hellish insanity sliding into oblivion, but it's a funny roiling cauldron of hellish insanity sliding into oblivion!

HbAD1

GOP Rep. Liz Cheney has drawn the ire of House January 6 Committee staffers over her influence on the final committee report expected out next month.
Amou Haji, an Iranian hermit dubbed the “World’s Dirtiest Man,” has died at the age of 94, according to state media reports.
Carolina Journal has learned that on Oct. 18, a shooting took place at the residence of GOP congressional candidate Pat Harrigan,
Sarasota and Brevard Counties in FL part ways with sup'ts who backed mask mandates
''China" Mitch wants more spending; conservatives oppose
Harvey Weinstein’s defense lawyers told the jury that their client behaved in a manner that was accepted at the time before the MeToo movement changed everything.
Scores of colleagues and staff who worked for Florida Democrat gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist in the past issued an open letter to the people of Florida in which they endorsed Florida GOP Governor Ron DeSantis.

HbAD2

On Wednesday, former Vince President Mike Pence made the case for electing Rep. Ted Budd for U.S. Senate in a final-week push before the 2022 midterm elections.
allows 401(k) managers to invest in low performing ESG funds
Home prices are falling at a record pace, according to data from S&P Global released Tuesday.
Chaos including the desecration of the Bible erupted on the University of Wisconsin campus Monday, when protesters tried to shut down a coming speech from Daily Wire host and author Matt Walsh.
How nearly all polls show massive move towards Republican candidates for national and competitive races
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved a $3.5 million drug treatment Tuesday, the most expensive drug in the world.
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (R) slammed Rep. Charlie Crist (D-FL) during a gubernatorial debate Monday night in response to Crist’s attacks on DeSantis’ handling of Hurricane Ian.
In a powerful statement on women's reproductive rights, a local family has added a Planned Parenthood location to their elaborate Christmas village display.
At the height of the Canadian trucker “Freedom Convoy,” as it occupied Ottawa, Canada’s capital, the Biden administration pressured Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to shut the convoy down.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top