10 Million-Dollar Ideas For Inventions That Need To Be Crowdfunded ASAP | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    There are some great ideas out there, but many have trouble getting the funding they need thanks to censorship from woke fundraising sites. This is unacceptable! Here are a few brilliant ideas that freedom-loving patriots should band together to support:

1. Printer that works: You've seen printers. Now imagine one that works. This could change the world.
2. Robot that explains the movie to your wife as you're watching it: This would make things much easier when you're watching Tenet.
3. Bathroom secure enough to store classified documents: If someone had invented this earlier, Trump could have escaped prosecution.
4. California DA that actually puts criminals in jail: Why hasn't someone thought of this before?
5. Vape that doesn't make you look like a total cheese bag: What if you could actually look cool while huffing your strawberry shortcake vape cartridge? Someone get on this!
6. An app that removes Seth Rogen from all movies: We'd pay good money for this.
7. Bible that reads itself: The Christian life, finally made simple.
8. Pocket translator for converting speech by mentally compromised politicians into English: Not mentioning any names here, but...
9. Edible protein bars that aren't made out of sand: Imagine the sick gains.
10. Lightsaber: Seriously, what's taking so long for us to get a lightsaber? Modern science should have been able to figure out a way to enclose an energy source as powerful as the sun and a Kyber crystal into a sword hilt to make an energy loop capable of cutting through any material except for Neuranium metal. Come on guys! Somebody fund this thing!