Winner Of $1 Billion Powerball Jackpot Excited To Finally Be Able To Afford An Apartment In L.A. | Eastern NC Now

As news filtered out that there was one, lone winning lottery ticket in last night's $1.1 billion Powerball jackpot drawing, speculation ran rampant about what the lucky winner would buy first.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    LOS ANGELES, CA     As news filtered out that there was one, lone winning lottery ticket in last night's $1.1 billion Powerball jackpot drawing, speculation ran rampant about what the lucky winner would buy first. In a rare public statement for a Powerball recipient, the winner has announced he will finally be able to afford an apartment in L.A.

    "This massive sum of money will finally let me rent a modest studio apartment," said the winner, who is a lawyer, hedge fund manager, and part-time plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills. "I've been a California resident my whole life, but I've always lived in a Coleman tent since that was all I could afford. Winning the Powerball means I'll finally be wealthy enough to have a roof over my head. I'm so excited!"

    With real estate and rental property prices skyrocketing in the area over the years, many residents of Golden State have put all their hopes on winning lottery jackpots in order to be able to afford the high cost of living. Other jealous Californians who desperately hope to one day have enough money to find a place to live in the state will now have to turn their attention to the next lottery jackpot.

    At publishing time, the winner was scheduling meetings with real estate agents while purchasing a ticket for next week's Powerball drawing, thinking another win might let him eat a meal without digging through dumpsters for food.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




Doctors Encouraged By How Well Biden Sleeping Without CPAP Machine Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Scoville Releases Separate Spiciness Scale For White People


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

I want to reach out and give you an explanation for my decisions. I've had some time to ruminate on it.
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic

HbAD1

fortunately this travesty has not yet come to Beaufort County, but it has in Virginia
now Fauci should be indicted for his previous lies under oath to Congress
Queen Garris has made a post on the Beaufort County GOP site that you should read. It is disloyal to conservative candiates key in the following: https://www.Facebook.Com/beaufortcountygop
another reason we need the SAVE America Act that Democrat politicians fear
Throughout the evening, the fireworks and other program events competed with uncooperative weather.
spending spree came from deceptively named "Inflation Reduction Act"

HbAD2

follows up on mass anti-immigration riots in Belfast, Northern Ireland

HbAD3

 
 
Back to Top