Southwest Airlines To Provide Plus-Size Customers With Bed Of Hay, Feeding Trough | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    DALLAS, TX     Southwest Airlines, with a positive reputation for supporting plus-size travelers, has taken a big step in providing robust support for its largest customers. Starting this week, fliers of size will be given a complimentary bed of hay and a feeding trough.

    Salt licks will be available to its corpulent flyers for a nominal fee.

    "At Southwest Airlines, we value the Twinkie-divergent and the Cheetos-adjacent," said a spokesperson for the airline, "Which is why we now offer free upgrades to the corral section with a cozy bed of hay and feeding trough for passengers with slim-defiant bodies."

    The free upgrade, which sits near the back of the cargo hold, will include a crane service to hoist the metabolically deficient customers into their pens through a massive door in the roof of the plane.

    At publishing time, members of the blubber-attracted community had vowed to boycott Southwest until every plane was retrofitted with an infinite donut dispenser.