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What is the opposition to being tough on drugs and crime?
 
“This is a really triumphant day for the people of the commonwealth and for the United States of America.”
“This is a really triumphant day for the people of the commonwealth and for the United States of America.”
 
NOAA fabricates temperature data for more than 30 percent of the 1,218 USHCN reporting stations that no longer exist
NOAA fabricates temperature data for more than 30 percent of the 1,218 USHCN reporting stations that no longer exist
 
The White House explained today that President Biden's horrific sunburn occurred due to him spreading mayonnaise on his face instead of his ham sandwich, a snafu that could happen to anyone of any cognitive ability.
The White House explained today that President Biden's horrific sunburn occurred due to him spreading mayonnaise on his face instead of his ham sandwich, a snafu that could happen to anyone of any cognitive ability.
 
ECU dental school marks statewide care milestone with 100,000 patients served
ECU dental school marks statewide care milestone with 100,000 patients served
 
As Thanksgiving approaches, Americans prepare for a holiday marked by higher grocery prices this year.
As Thanksgiving approaches, Americans prepare for a holiday marked by higher grocery prices this year.
 
A new peer-reviewed thesis has made a compelling argument that the Apostle Thomas only believed that Jesus Christ had risen from the dead after seeing Jesus's face miraculously appear on his slice of toast one morning.
A new peer-reviewed thesis has made a compelling argument that the Apostle Thomas only believed that Jesus Christ had risen from the dead after seeing Jesus's face miraculously appear on his slice of toast one morning.
 
SAN DIEGO, CA — Following the passing of legislation to raise the minimum wage for fast food workers in California, San Diego-based restaurant chain Jack-In-The-Box has announced it will now be rolling out a special offer of two tacos for just $20.
SAN DIEGO, CA — Following the passing of legislation to raise the minimum wage for fast food workers in California, San Diego-based restaurant chain Jack-In-The-Box has announced it will now be rolling out a special offer of two tacos for just $20.
 
“Lord of the Rings” filmmaker Peter Jackson said he believes it’s possible to create more Beatles music in the future with the use of AI (artificial intelligence) technology.
“Lord of the Rings” filmmaker Peter Jackson said he believes it’s possible to create more Beatles music in the future with the use of AI (artificial intelligence) technology.
 
Many people are quite familiar with Martin Luther's famous 95 Theses that he nailed to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany in 1517, but have you ever heard about his other theses that were left out at the last minute? They include some real scorchers!
Many people are quite familiar with Martin Luther's famous 95 Theses that he nailed to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany in 1517, but have you ever heard about his other theses that were left out at the last minute? They include some real scorchers!
 
After he sat down for an interview with Megyn Kelly in which some of his answers elicited criticism from conservatives, including Kelly herself, former President Trump said at a campaign event that she was too hard on him.
After he sat down for an interview with Megyn Kelly in which some of his answers elicited criticism from conservatives, including Kelly herself, former President Trump said at a campaign event that she was too hard on him.
 
Ladies, we know you want us. Who wouldn't? Every woman wants a guy who spends all his time talking about Tolkien and Star Wars and playing Zelda, but how can you attract one? It's an age-old question, but thankfully, there are very simple answers.
Ladies, we know you want us. Who wouldn't? Every woman wants a guy who spends all his time talking about Tolkien and Star Wars and playing Zelda, but how can you attract one? It's an age-old question, but thankfully, there are very simple answers.
 
In an attempt to avoid further injury and traumatic incidents involving Caucasians eating food that's far too spicy for them, the scientists behind the Scoville Scale have announced they are releasing a separate spiciness scale for white people.
In an attempt to avoid further injury and traumatic incidents involving Caucasians eating food that's far too spicy for them, the scientists behind the Scoville Scale have announced they are releasing a separate spiciness scale for white people.
 
Admissions faculty at Harvard was devastated today upon hearing the news that they could no longer use racial discrimination to turn their school into a diverse rainbow of beautiful mediocrity.
Admissions faculty at Harvard was devastated today upon hearing the news that they could no longer use racial discrimination to turn their school into a diverse rainbow of beautiful mediocrity.
 
Congressman Adam Schiff was left in wide-eyed shock after the House of Representatives voted to censure him for lying to the American people about Trump/Russia collusion.
Congressman Adam Schiff was left in wide-eyed shock after the House of Representatives voted to censure him for lying to the American people about Trump/Russia collusion.
 
Some are kind of small, three feet at most. Others are more than four times larger, as big as a car.
Some are kind of small, three feet at most. Others are more than four times larger, as big as a car.
 
There is no official evidence that proves alien life forms from other worlds exist, according to a Pentagon spokesman who gave a press briefing with an alien facehugger attached to his face.
There is no official evidence that proves alien life forms from other worlds exist, according to a Pentagon spokesman who gave a press briefing with an alien facehugger attached to his face.
 
The Beaufort County Public Health Department plans to begin spraying for mosquitoes in the next week as conditions warrant.
The Beaufort County Public Health Department plans to begin spraying for mosquitoes in the next week as conditions warrant.
 
While some Americans are skeptical about UFOs, one member of Congress is convinced that the federal government covered up a crash of an alien spacecraft in Roswell, New Mexico, back in 1947.
While some Americans are skeptical about UFOs, one member of Congress is convinced that the federal government covered up a crash of an alien spacecraft in Roswell, New Mexico, back in 1947.
 
Alright, SIMPS! These days, it's getting harder and harder to find any real men. Not guys who are "in touch with their feelings" or "enjoy a good pair of barefoot wingtip shoes" — we're talking real-deal, manly men.
Alright, SIMPS! These days, it's getting harder and harder to find any real men. Not guys who are "in touch with their feelings" or "enjoy a good pair of barefoot wingtip shoes" — we're talking real-deal, manly men.
 
A Florida apiarist was bee-reft of over a million bees after a truck slammed into him while hauling his hives.
A Florida apiarist was bee-reft of over a million bees after a truck slammed into him while hauling his hives.
 
As more and more families are hit by inflation under the Biden administration, experts are reporting that millions of Americans are turning to Costco samples as their primary source of sustenance.
As more and more families are hit by inflation under the Biden administration, experts are reporting that millions of Americans are turning to Costco samples as their primary source of sustenance.
 
The Lenten season is upon us! Across America, people are giving things up for the next 40 days in preparation for Easter. Check out what the most common choice was for every state:
The Lenten season is upon us! Across America, people are giving things up for the next 40 days in preparation for Easter. Check out what the most common choice was for every state:
 
With sheepishness in his voice and a spot of Three-Pepper Sauce™ on his collar, local accountant Zed Filbertson was seen on a call with his credit card company, informing them that yes, regretfully he was actually eating at Arby's for the third time that day.
With sheepishness in his voice and a spot of Three-Pepper Sauce™ on his collar, local accountant Zed Filbertson was seen on a call with his credit card company, informing them that yes, regretfully he was actually eating at Arby's for the third time that day.
 
In a last-minute address to a concerned nation, Biden assured the American public that he will confront the current alien invasion once he has successfully defeated hotel junk fees.
In a last-minute address to a concerned nation, Biden assured the American public that he will confront the current alien invasion once he has successfully defeated hotel junk fees.
 
ATLANTA, GA — Chick-fil-A has announced a new cauliflower sandwich as part of an effort to reach new customers in the godless heathen community.
ATLANTA, GA — Chick-fil-A has announced a new cauliflower sandwich as part of an effort to reach new customers in the godless heathen community.
 
Amidst the eyebrow-raising claims and unintelligible shouting, President Joe Biden also proposed twelve new taxes during his State of the Union Address on Tuesday night.
Amidst the eyebrow-raising claims and unintelligible shouting, President Joe Biden also proposed twelve new taxes during his State of the Union Address on Tuesday night.
 
Scholars now believe that the disciples who handed out food so ably to the five-thousand may have in fact been Chick-fil-A employees.
Scholars now believe that the disciples who handed out food so ably to the five-thousand may have in fact been Chick-fil-A employees.
 
While the nationwide labor shortage has been widely reported, one local Chick-Fil-A has suffered from an acute need for more workers. The store manager for the Omaha location says his location is staffed well below the nationwide average, with only 68 people working his drive-thru line.
While the nationwide labor shortage has been widely reported, one local Chick-Fil-A has suffered from an acute need for more workers. The store manager for the Omaha location says his location is staffed well below the nationwide average, with only 68 people working his drive-thru line.
 
Local wife Victoria Crab phoned her husband in the early evening Thursday to see if he could run by the store real quick on his way home from work so he could grab a couple thousand items.
Local wife Victoria Crab phoned her husband in the early evening Thursday to see if he could run by the store real quick on his way home from work so he could grab a couple thousand items.
 
On Monday, N.C. Gov. Roy Cooper was at the White House as two turkeys got the annual presidential pardon.
On Monday, N.C. Gov. Roy Cooper was at the White House as two turkeys got the annual presidential pardon.
 
Despite continued growth and financial success, fast food chain Chick-Fil-A has received a word of warning from an unexpected source
Despite continued growth and financial success, fast food chain Chick-Fil-A has received a word of warning from an unexpected source
 
Guns. They've caused countless tragedies. The list of tragedies that could have been prevented by guns is literally infinite, especially when you consider the multiverse.
Guns. They've caused countless tragedies. The list of tragedies that could have been prevented by guns is literally infinite, especially when you consider the multiverse.
 
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