Study Finds People With Thousands Of Unread Emails Are Most Likely To Become Serial Killers | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.-A new study has found a connection between having thousands of unread emails and your likelihood of becoming a serial killer.

    According to the research, those people who don't even bother clearing their tens of thousands of unread email notifications on their phone or computer are "absolute psychos" and should be treated with extreme caution.

    "There are a lot of warning signs when someone begins spiraling into psychosis or sociopathy," said MIT researcher Dr. Brett Harrett. "The most obvious one, of course, is leaving your emails unread. Like, seriously, how do these absolute madmen not just clear out the number? They just sit there with, like, 77,000 unread email notifications on their home screen and they're like, 'This is fine'."

    "Well, I'm here to tell you-it's definitely not fine."

    The survey looked at hundreds of serial killers over the last couple of decades, and all of them had one thing in common: killing people. But all of them also had a second thing in common: their iPhones, laptops, or desktop computers had that little red notification saying they had 10,000 or more unread emails, and they just left it like that. The absolute psychos.

    They also had hundreds of desktop icons they never bothered to clear up, according to researchers.