10 Signs Your Wife's Fall Decor Has Gotten Out Of Control | Eastern NC Now

It's that time of year again when our wives, intoxicated by the powerful and mysterious aroma of pumpkin spice, break out the autumn decor and transform your home into a quaint slice of farmhouse heaven. But how much is too much?

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    It's that time of year again when our wives, intoxicated by the powerful and mysterious aroma of pumpkin spice, break out the autumn decor and transform your home into a quaint slice of farmhouse heaven. But how much is too much? Here are 10 signs you may need to ask your wife to pull back on the fall decor.

  1. All your furniture has been replaced with bales of hay: So rustic!
  2. You just had Pumpkin Spice meatloaf for dinner: Savory and delicious.
  3. It's 98 degrees outside and she's wearing a sweater and drinking a latte: To be fair, this is what she does year-round.
  4. She told you she'd be wearing something sexy when you got home from work and it was an orange turtleneck with an orange vest with spiders and jack-o'-lanterns embroidered on it: Hubba hubba!
  5. The Hallmark Channel has asked to film a romantic comedy in your home: It's the perfect setting for Small Town Suprise Coffee Shop Kiss 2: Sensitive Rich Lumberjack
  6. Your clothes have just been washed with pumpkin spice laundry detergent: It goes great with the pumpkin spice lattes, the pumpkin spice candles, and the pumpkin spice essential oil she's currently applying to your forehead.
  7. All your shirts have been replaced with flannels: Now, go chop some wood so she can share it on Instagram!
  8. She insists on attending church in a hay-filled wagon pulled by a tractor: This is how the early church attended Sunday service, so it's biblical. Except for the tractor part, anyway.
  9. You just lost another child in the front yard corn maze: It's ok, you have plenty of other ones, right?
  10. She has reverse mortgaged your home to pay off her Hobby Lobby debt: Hopefully, Biden will announce some kind of debt forgiveness program soon.

Go Back

HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

as RINO incumbents Cornyn in Texas and Cassidy in Louisiana trail in the polls
government's offer is rejected, the battle continues, no confidence vote in parliament

HbAD1

Understanding how parties work is important for making informed decisions regarding elected officials.
Tax Day is a week away, and the reports are in: North Carolinians are winning big with record-setting tax returns thanks to President Trump and Republicans' Working Families Tax Cuts.

HbAD2

“It is a trust fund, a piece of the American economy for every child that they will be able to take out when they are 18.”
farmers, truckers and supporters block roads, fuel deports, and ports to protest climate taxes on fuel
Sunrise Movement which focuses on climate alarmist is now engaged with illegal immigration
a typical lying Democrat, she told voters she was a moderate, and then went hard left
Change in schedule for executive committee meeting. Meeting Thursday April 9 is cancelled.

HbAD3

 
 
Back to Top