Woman Who Owns Air Fryer Goes Whole 7 Minutes Without Mentioning She Owns Air Fryer | Eastern North Carolina Now | Proud air fryer owner Connie Simpson went a record seven minutes today without telling anyone that she owns an air fryer.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    RALEIGH, NC     Proud air fryer owner Connie Simpson went a record seven minutes today without telling anyone that she owns an air fryer.

    "I guess I got so caught up in talking to my mom about her needing emergency brain surgery that I forgot to mention what I did with my air fryer yesterday," said Ms. Simpson. "Anyhow, she's fine - but you'll never believe what I tried in the air fryer yesterday: paninis! They were ah-mazing!"

    Ever since purchasing the air fryer, Ms. Simpson has rarely found time to do or talk about anything else. "It's been a wild ride," said Ms. Simpson. "If I'm not physically cooking something in the air fryer, I'm out there spreading the news about it. The way pizza reheats, the crispness you can get on chicken wings - this thing is LIFE CHANGING!"

    Though happy for her, Ms. Simpson's friends have admitted they do not fully understand the obsession. "I mean, it's a tiny convection oven. There are like, five things it's good for," said neighbor Lorie Evans. "I'll grant that it's genuinely superior for cooking bacon, but that's pretty much it. She's over there trying to make cupcakes and stew in that thing."

    Sources say Ms. Simpson has now developed her own "Air Fryer Gospel Tracts", with which she is steadfastly working to convert the neighborhood.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




9 Times Chick-fil-A Employees Saved A Customer's Life In The Drive-Thru Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Ukraine makes major breakrhtough in south on Kherson front


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

QATAR – Former president Barack Obama was among the millions of Americans who enjoyed watching the United States' thrilling 1-0 victory over Iran in the World Cup.
The combined age of the top three Democrat leaders in the U.S. House of Representatives is 247.
The president’s granddaughter, Naomi, received a glamorous feature in the fashion magazine Vogue, detailing her mid-November wedding weekend at the White House.
In a 4-3 party-line vote, with Democrats in the majority, the N.C. Supreme Court is endorsing a court-ordered plan to transfer hundreds of millions of dollars out of the state treasury. The money would address the Leandro education funding lawsuit.
"...things they would typically revert back to, especially with identity politics, I don't think that it works the same against me."
Hood makes the argument that participating in the political parties is important
23-point swing toward DeSantis from Trump since June, 46-point swing since one year ago

HbAD1

The Department of Justice wants Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes, 38, who made billions of dollars before she was ultimately convicted of wire fraud and conspiracy, to spend 15 years in prison rather than walk free.
In a stunning announcement, Disney has revealed "The Chosen" will be incorporated into the Marvel Multiverse following a cameo appearance by Deadpool in the show's upcoming third season.
White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre lost her cool against a conservative reporter after she pressed Dr. Anthony Fauci on his approach to COVID.
Alec Baldwin has filed a lawsuit against some former crew members of the movie “Rust,” where a shooting incident resulted in the death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins last year.
Elon Musk is the chief executive of Tesla and SpaceX, as well as the leader of several smaller pet projects, such as Neuralink and The Boring Company. Following his acquisition of Twitter, one of the world’s largest social media platforms, the multibillionaire gave the world a view into just how bus
As part of a new pledge to "quiet down" the company's aggressive push for progressive themes in its content, returning Disney CEO Bob Iger has revealed the entertainment giant will cut back to including only seven LGTB characters in each children's movie.
The case of defunct cryptocurrency exchange FTX and now-broke multibillionaire founder Sam Bankman-Fried is among the most intriguing stories of alleged financial crime in decades, rivaling the heists executed by financier Bernie Madoff and startup darling Elizabeth Holmes.
Third-quarter finance reports dropped Tuesday, November 2nd, and with them came insight into one of North Carolina’s biggest questions for election day, will Republicans regain supermajorities in the state legislature?
Bill Maher, host of HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher,” defended Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (R) against attacks he has faced from media and a Democrat politician who criticized DeSantis on the show’s most recent broadcast.

HbAD2

Amid a storm of controversy over recent antisemitic comments and remarks praising Hitler, Ye West has announced the release of his brand-new album My Struggle.
A number of entertainment conglomerates and media companies are announcing layoffs as the macroeconomy continues to impact several industries.
The White House geared up for the Thanksgiving holiday by sharing a list of talking points for people to reference if the happened to find themselves talking to “that uncle” during a family gathering.
Country music legend Dolly Parton has received a $100 million award from Amazon founder Jeff Bezos.
Over the past few weeks, Ben Shapiro has created video responses to Kanye "Ye" West's anti-semitic statements, causing West to direct tweets at the conservative commentator.
A Pennsylvania man was sentenced to over 17 years in prison followed by a lifetime of supervised release for his involvement in a plot to bomb a Pittsburgh church.
Netflix is planning to try out live programming in early 2023 with a new stand-up comedy special from comedian Chris Rock.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top