Christmas Gift Ideas For Your Libertarian Child | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Raising a libertarian child can be tough, especially since they see your authority as totally illegitimate and say things like "AM I BEING DETAINED?" when you tell them to clean their room. If you have a libertarian kid, Christmas is a great opportunity to win them over with some perfect Christmas presents!

    Here are some great gift ideas for your little libertarian:

1. Guns, lots of guns: We're starting with the easy ones here.
2. A DVD Copy of Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2: A cinematic masterpiece that espouses the virtues of a completely privatized police force.
3. Neckbeard trimmer: This will put him at an advantage with the ladies at Libertarian conventions.
4. Rand Paul Chia Pet: A favorite of libertarian children everywhere. It looks just like his real hair!
5. A facemask to confuse the facial recognition cameras: Guy Fawkes masks are on sale right now.
6. A copy of the classic Christmas book The Fed Who Stole Christmas: Never too early to teach them a healthy distrust of the Feds.
7. Shovel: To build his own roads.
8. Deodorant: He may be resistant to this at first, but he will thank you when he finally gets a girl to talk to him.
9. A tiny country where they have no laws: You can designate a 1 square-foot autonomous zone in their bedroom!
10. Cover his eyes, bring him out in the driveway, and tell him to open and behold his new F-15: The ultimate Christmas gift every libertarian child dreams of!