10 Potential Candidates To Challenge McCarthy For Speaker | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    As voting for Presiding Officer over the House Of Representatives stretches into a 14th ballot, some analysts have begun calling for an outsider to energize the stalled process, rather than continuing with negotiations centered around Kevin McCarthy. There must be some qualified being other than the California Republican at the center of the gridlock - to that end, here are 10 candidates we believe could discharge the duties of Speaker of the House:

  1. Lukewarm bowl of Cream of Wheat: The charisma of McCarthy combined with the strength of Boehner. A perfect candidate!
  2. Jellyfish: It's less squishy and has more of a backbone than most Republicans.
  3. Bose Smart Soundbar 700 - With Bluetooth®: One of the best speakers on the market, according to Amazon reviews.
  4. Pete Davidson: He can apparently talk anyone into doing anything.
  5. Nancy Pelosi again: We need her close to the action--we've got our entire retirement fund banked on following her stock trades.
  6. Giant inflatable bald eagle that was sitting on top of the fireworks stand off I-90: The only candidate patriotic enough for Lauren Boebert.
  7. Alex Jones wearing the armor from the DOOM franchise: So he can rip and tear through the swamp!
  8. Volodymyr Zelensky: As long as he agrees to wear a suit this time.
  9. Volodymyr Zelensky's hand with a mouth and google eyes drawn on it: Next best thing.
  10. Corn Pop: He'll fit right in with the rest of Congress because he's a very bad dude.

    And there you have it - 10 candidates we believe could serve as Speaker of the House of Representatives. Let us know your pick, and let's hope this gets settled soon so Congress can get back to its important work of spending all our money!
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Scholars Now Believe Forbidden Fruit Was Seed Oils Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics After 15 Grueling House Speaker Votes, America's Long National Nightmare Can Finally Begin


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

ancient forests being destroyed to build wind turbines and solar "farms"
President Joe Biden took direct aim at Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas during a recent interview, referring to him simply as “the guy who likes to spend a lot of time on yachts.”
The best way the county and city can help hold down inflation is to resist all tax increases
Pope Francis lambasted leftist gender ideology during an address this week, warning that it presented an extreme danger to mankind.
amnesty would just encourage more illegal aliens to storm our borders
The Christmas candy was barely off the shelves when the Valentine’s candy appeared. Red and pink hearts with caramel and nut-filled chocolate goodness caught our eye. We are reminded of how we love love. Young love, especially.
far left sugar daddy has also funded anti-Israel groups and politicians in US
Be careful what you wish for, you may get it

HbAD1

America needs to wake up and get its priorities right
Former President Donald Trump suggested this week that if he becomes president again, he might allow Prince Harry to be deported.
It's a New Year, which means it's time to make resolutions — even for prominent evangelical leaders. The Babylon Bee asked the following well-known figures in the faith what they hope to accomplish in 2024:
Vice President Kamala Harris will visit a Minnesota Planned Parenthood clinic, reportedly the first time a president or vice president has visited an abortion facility.
An eight-mile stretch of the Blue Ridge Parkway near Asheville has been temporarily closed due to a string of “human and bear interactions,” the National Parks Service announced.
University of Wisconsin tried to punish conservatives for the fact that liberals regularly commit crimes to silence opposition
most voters think EU officials not doing a good job on illegal immigration
Come from behind by GOP candidate is a blueprint to 2024

HbAD2

Biden spending and energy policies to blame
Tuberculosis carried by illegal invaders has already infected Texas cattle
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) said this week that the only campaign promise President Joe Biden has delivered on as president is the complete dismantling of the U.S. southern border.
Hamas is reeling after losing two of their most cherished leaders on the same day: military commander Saleh al-Arouri, and Harvard President Claudine Gay.
President Joe Biden’s brother told the Internal Revenue Service that Hunter Biden told him he was in business with a “protege of President Xi,” referring to the leader of China, according to notes by an IRS investigator that were divulged during a congressional interview of Jim Biden.
Gov. Roy Cooper seeks a temporary restraining order to block a law changing the composition of the State Board of Elections.
X owner Elon Musk mocked a news segment from ABC News this week that promoted President Joe Biden’s talking points about the Democrat-led Senate’s failed border bill, which critics and many experts have said would make the situation on the border worse.
That’s the question Marguerite Roza of Georgetown University’s Edunomics Lab sought to answer in a recent webinar on the topic.
The University of Florida has fired all of its diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) employees and shut down its DEI office.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top