'Is It Working Now?' Asks Elon Musk Flipping Random Switches In Twitter Basement | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SAN FRANCISCO, CA     Sources inside Twitter headquarters have confirmed Elon Musk and his team of brilliant engineers have been working tirelessly to get Twitter back to its normal state of allowing Twitter user Catturd to go viral. Those close to Twitter's new CEO say he is now in the building's basement flipping random switches in hopes that something will happen.

    "Is it working now?" Elon Musk reportedly called up from the basement.

    "No, it looks like the only change is that Trump is banned again." replied Chief Engineer Vayapal Ramaswalabadalamagrash.

    Slight changes made by Twitter last week have turned the world into a roiling heap of chaos and anxiety, as users were forced to not always see short sentences written by complete strangers at random times during the day. Endless torment.

    "Oops. Okay, how about now?" said Musk.

    "Umm, now AOC is dead. Maybe turn that one off," replied the engineer.

    Since the tech giant is now the last bastion of hope for free speech in the world, Musk has ordered all employees to work 24/7 to make Twitter more robust. Some recent successes include replacing all duct tape with more secure Gorilla Tape™ and seeing that baling twine was replaced with longer-lasting baling wire.

    "K, now try it," yelled an exhausted Musk from the depths below.

    "You just caused all Teslas to catch fire! Turn it off! Turn it off!"

    At publishing time, Elon Musk and his team of engineers had eventually fixed Twitter so users could see the tweets they wanted to as long as they could read pig latin.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Politicians Forced To Cancel Prayer Breakfast After Lightning Keeps Striking Building Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Ilhan Omar Blames Her Removal From Foreign Affairs Committee On The Jews


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Former Project Veritas CEO James O’Keefe sat down with Ben Shapiro on this week’s episode of “The Sunday Special,” discussing how he plans on outsourcing undercover operatives equipped with hidden cameras in order to decentralize journalism.
The United States Supreme Court has already ruled equal representation of counties in state legislatures to be unconstitutional.
GA school teachers armed with guns
Sixteen people on the FBI’s terror watch-list — mixed in with record-breaking numbers of migrants illegally entering the United States — were stopped along the U.S.-Mexico border last month, authorities said.
Results of a new study have confirmed that the number of "true crime" podcasts produced has officially surpassed the number of actual murders in the world, per capita.
Switzerland‘s two largest banks are poised to merge in a deal regulators sought to help create stability as volatility rocks financial institutions around the globe.
Some Republican-led states, including Tennessee, are joining Democrats in actively resisting school choice policies after dozens of red states have already begun implementing such changes.
Former President Donald Trump will be arraigned in a Manhattan courthouse on Tuesday afternoon after being indicted this week, court officials said on Friday.

HbAD1

In what the media and political experts are hailing as an ingenious move, President Joe Biden has announced a plan to offer "hush money" to 330 million Americans so they won't tell anyone how bad he's doing as President.
Louisiana Republican lawmakers gained a significant upper hand after a longtime Democrat switched parties.
Leftist billionaire George Soros denied that he knows or has donated money to Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg, who indicted former President Donald Trump on Thursday, but the prosecutor's campaign efforts were assisted by a group which Soros funds.
Today, Republican National Committee (RNC) Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel released the following statement on Biden’s Bankrupting America Tour stop in North Carolina:
Billionaire investor Warren Buffett reportedly spoke with Biden administration officials in recent days about contending with the banking crisis.
On Thursday, the state Senate passed House Bill 40, Prevent Rioting and Civil Disorder, a bill that would increase penalties for damaging property while rioting.
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) slammed Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg on Friday for his investigation into former President Donald Trump over alleged hush money payments from several years ago.
At what some are calling a modern-day ecumenical council, it was declared that man crushes on former Man of Steel actor Henry Cavill do not disqualify the soul from its heavenly reward and are decidedly "not gay."

HbAD2

Former New Jersey Republican Governor Chris Christie doubts an indictment would benefit former President Donald Trump’s 2024 election chances.
Top Republicans from around the country responded to the news that former President Donald Trump has been indicted by a Manhattan grand jury by saying that the case was an example of political persecution.
The N.C. Supreme Court has rejected a friend-of-the-court brief in the Harper v. Hall redistricting case from Gov. Roy Cooper and Attorney General Josh Stein.
Massachusetts Democratic Senator Elizabeth Warren called for a new Federal Reserve Chairman on Sunday as she lashed out at Jerome Powell’s job performance.
U.S. — Liberals unable to define the words "man" or "woman" have angrily demanded conservatives give a singular definition of a term recently made up by liberals.
Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg released a statement Thursday evening confirming that former President Donald Trump has been indicted and that plans are being made for him to surrender.
Entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy, a 2024 candidate for the Republican presidential nomination, decried the prospect of former President Donald Trump being indicted.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top