'Is It Working Now?' Asks Elon Musk Flipping Random Switches In Twitter Basement | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SAN FRANCISCO, CA     Sources inside Twitter headquarters have confirmed Elon Musk and his team of brilliant engineers have been working tirelessly to get Twitter back to its normal state of allowing Twitter user Catturd to go viral. Those close to Twitter's new CEO say he is now in the building's basement flipping random switches in hopes that something will happen.

    "Is it working now?" Elon Musk reportedly called up from the basement.

    "No, it looks like the only change is that Trump is banned again." replied Chief Engineer Vayapal Ramaswalabadalamagrash.

    Slight changes made by Twitter last week have turned the world into a roiling heap of chaos and anxiety, as users were forced to not always see short sentences written by complete strangers at random times during the day. Endless torment.

    "Oops. Okay, how about now?" said Musk.

    "Umm, now AOC is dead. Maybe turn that one off," replied the engineer.

    Since the tech giant is now the last bastion of hope for free speech in the world, Musk has ordered all employees to work 24/7 to make Twitter more robust. Some recent successes include replacing all duct tape with more secure Gorilla Tape™ and seeing that baling twine was replaced with longer-lasting baling wire.

    "K, now try it," yelled an exhausted Musk from the depths below.

    "You just caused all Teslas to catch fire! Turn it off! Turn it off!"

    At publishing time, Elon Musk and his team of engineers had eventually fixed Twitter so users could see the tweets they wanted to as long as they could read pig latin.