Kamala Disappointed To Learn President In Hospice Is Just Carter | Eastern NC Now

According to sources, Vice President Kamala Harris became distraught this weekend after discovering that the president admitted to hospice was only Jimmy Carter.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     According to sources, Vice President Kamala Harris became distraught this weekend after discovering that the president admitted to hospice was only Jimmy Carter. Harris, who has been waiting patiently for Joe Biden to die, fought back tears of disappointment when she discovered the current sitting president was alive and well, albeit in Ukraine.

    Harris reportedly spent $200 on a flower arrangement for Biden's bedside that she now has no use for.

    "President Carter is 98 years old, which means he is almost dead," Harris explained upon hearing the news. "That is 18 years older than President Biden. That is old. Old people die. Die starts with the letter 'D.' Biden is still alive. HA HA HA HA HEE HEE HEE HO HO!"

    Kamala then broke down crying as her hopes of being President were dashed once again.

    At publishing time, Harris put in a call to Putin and strongly hinted that now would be a great time to bomb Kyiv.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




Don Lemon Returns To Work, Disgusted To Find Female Co-hosts Even Older Than They Were Last Week Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Hunter Asks Dad To Pick Up His Paycheck As Long As He's In Kyiv


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

If you are covering Roy Cooper in Greensboro today, please consider the following statement from the Republican National Committee:
Obama and Biden judges abuse power for political reasons to try to stop Haitian deportations
teachers union rally held on major socialist / communist May Day holiday
Democrats foment climate of violence against Trump and GOP

HbAD1

Cheryl Hines. Dennis Quaid. Nicki Minaj. All became associated with the Trump administration. What happened next?
A federal grand jury in North Carolina has indicted former FBI Director James Comey on two charges related to making threats against President Donald Trump.
Their goal was simple: to put a Planned Parenthood in every mailbox in America.
Treasury officials allege these groups pose as humanitarian entities while covertly siphoning donations to Hamas.
President Donald Trump has publicly floated regime change and other aggressive actions toward Cuba.
With a new roadside plaque unveiled in Ellerbe on April 23, legendary wrestler and local resident André René Roussimoff is finally getting the formal recognition fans believe he deserves.

HbAD2

Following a string of attacks, critics are calling for denaturalizations. It's not that simple.
Understanding how parties work is important for making informed decisions regarding elected officials.
The solution is not to legalize the problem; it is to enforce the law consistently and deter future illegal immigration.
The teachers union is pushing to cancel school on May 1 as Chicago public schools continue to report dismal student proficiency rates.
Mission accomplished on sending inspiration from the dark side of the moon.

HbAD3

 
 
Back to Top