Don Lemon Returns To Work, Disgusted To Find Female Co-hosts Even Older Than They Were Last Week | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    NEW YORK, NY     On Monday morning, Don Lemon went to host his morning show again after CNN placed him on leave for saying Nikki Haley, 51, was "past her prime" and making his co-hosts visibly uncomfortable. Reports confirm he stormed back off the set in disgust after discovering female co-hosts were even older than they were last week.

    "It was bad enough I had to look at you baggy old tarts last week - and I come in today to find that this week you're even further over the hill! I literally can't even!" Lemon roared at his co-hosts while tearing off his lapel mic and mopping his brow under the hot lights before storming back off the set.

    "It's sickening!"

    Reports confirm that producers and staffers attempted to intercept Lemon (56), but say he was "smashing through the studio like a rhino" and interrupting their feeble attempts at interference. "Mr. Lemon, we understa - yes - yes - I know sir, they are awful to look at - yes sir, we will 'Google it' - yes, we're sorry you had to see these old women - Mr. Lemon, we can ensure it doesn't happen again."

    At publishing time, eyewitnesses say Don Lemon had collapsed in a heap in the parking lot when he was asked for his staff badge by a 54-year-old female parking attendant.