Church Of Christ Song Leader Nails Pitch Pipe Solo | Eastern NC Now

According to church elders, member Dylan Behrens absolutely nailed the pitch pipe solo while performing song leader duties Sunday. The veteran song leader approached the pulpit with his Sacred Selections hymn book in hand and then proceeded to shred the pitch pipe for 5 seconds.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SANTEE, CA     According to church elders, member Dylan Behrens absolutely nailed the pitch pipe solo while performing song leader duties Sunday. The veteran song leader approached the pulpit with his Sacred Selections hymn book in hand and then proceeded to shred the pitch pipe for 5 seconds.

    "I have never heard so many notes come at me so fast," said elderly member Joanna Sheldor. "It was frightening! But also exotic and thrilling."

    Behrens later admitted that the solo was not planned and happened organically in the moment after he mistakenly played two incorrect notes before D-4, the right pitch for the song he was leading. However, by then it was already too late.

    Three separate notes were played in all before Behrens led the congregation in singing "I'm Happy Today."

    Church membership is reportedly divided on whether Behrens' use of the pitch pipe constitutes invalid use of an instrument in worship, with some even insisting they are not happy today. However, all members agree the solo melted their faces off.

    "We try to be very conscientious of the fact that worship is for God, and if He has not commanded us to use instruments in worship then we have no desire to move beyond the command to sing," stated church deacon Johnathon Strongbuck. "Although He might make an exception for this since it was so epic. Wouldn't God want me to hear sick tunes like that?"

    Some members, however, are outraged. They fear word of the scandal will spread to other congregations and they'll be considered a "total Corinth" in the eyes of members all over the world.

    At publishing time, the congregation had split over whether or not pitch pipe solos should be made a regular tradition.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




Study Finds Only 0.01% Of Trail Mix Actually Consumed While On A Trail Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Man Confers With Wife Over Name Of Person They Met 15 Seconds Ago


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Voting is 100% voluntary - the cost is negligible, but the value is immeasurable!
Questionable finances, corruption and dictatorship round out another Executive Committee meeting.

HbAD1

illegal migration also drives up healthcare, insurance, and other costs for Americans
America's formerly greatest museum has become a bad political joke
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
says foreign ties of Democrat Socialists of America need to be investigated

HbAD2

massive data collection by license plate readers on highways and streets threaten freedom
“I’m from America, 250 years ago we were way bigger than 6/1 dogs, and look at us thriving now.” Justin Gaethje pulls off an all time sports upset.
There are many people who overlook the brilliance of the US Constitution. They argue that it is outdated and unfit to adequately govern such a modern nation as ours in the 21st century.

HbAD3

 
 
Back to Top