Disney Remake Just Like Classic Disney Movie But Bad | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.     The live-action remake of the beloved Disney film The Little Mermaid is just like a classic Disney movie but bad, say critics. Despite advances in CGI and ethnic diversity, the new film appears to have floundered with critics and fans alike.

    "This new reimagining of the timeless Disney story is just like the classic tale you fondly remember from your childhood," said director Rob Marshall. "Except this one is bad."

    Sources say this live-action The Little Mermaid abandons the escapism and animation of yesteryear for gritty reality in its fairy tale story by including themes of modern race dynamics and sexual consent. According to movie experts, this kind of thing is exactly what modern audiences crave.

    "It is impossible to enjoy this film, it's that bad," Disney CEO Robert Iger said proudly. "This is exactly why I got into the business."

    Children are among the film's harshest critics. Many younger children reportedly left screenings in tears, whining about how bad it was. 9-year-old Shannon LaSavignon said, "Wow, that was bad. I used to want to be a spunky mermaid, but now I have clinical depression."

    At publishing time, parents longed for a return to form when Disney films were about dumb parents being righteously disobeyed in pursuit of foolish childhood dreams that led to dramatic and permanent consequences for all involved.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

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