Garth Brooks Opens Gay Bar | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    NASHVILLE, TN     In a surprising twist, legendary country music star Garth Brooks has announced that his new bar will in fact be a gay bar, as they will be serving Bud Light.

    "There are plenty of other straight bars you can go to, but at my bar, we will serve an endless supply of Bud Light!" said Garth Brooks sporting a glittery rainbow cowboy hat and rhinestone studded chaps. "So if you wanna go where the whiskey drowns and the Bud Light chases your blues away then come on down to the 'Friends In Low Places' bar.

    According to sources, the bar features unlimited Bud Light on tap, glitter raining down from the rafters, and mechanical bedazzled unicorn riding. As patrons took to the dance floor, gay couples swung, twirled, and twerked to the melodies of classic Garth Brooks tunes mixed with pulsating nightclub beats.

    "We take PRIDE in opening such a quality gay bar!" added Garth Brooks while serving another pitcher of ice-cold Bud Light. "Our motto is we'll serve any beer and we don't care if it's queer!"

    Many, longtime fans of Brooks arrived at the bar to try and give it a shot only to realize all his old songs were blasting reimagined as gay banger anthems. The hit songs included reworked classics now called "The Thunder Rolls (With Pride)", "Unapologetically Queer", "Ain't Going Back (To The Closet)", and of course "Friends In Rainbow Places."

    At publishing time, Garth Brooks had also announced that children will get in free at his 'Friends in Low Places' bar on Drag Queen Night.