Christianity Defeated After Atheist Points Out That They Still Eat Shellfish And Wear Mixed Fabrics | Eastern North Carolina Now

The foundations of Christendom were rocked to their very core this week after local atheist Chaz Piddington noted that Christians eat shellfish and wear mixed fabrics.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    BIDDLEFORD, ME     The foundations of Christendom were rocked to their very core this week after local atheist Chaz Piddington noted that Christians eat shellfish and wear mixed fabrics.

    "You claim to be a Christian, and yet I noticed you're wearing a satin-polyester blend shirt and eating shrimp cocktail," said Piddington to a nearby Christian who was wearing a satin-polyester blend shirt and eating shrimp cocktail. "Apparently you haven't read the Old Testament law. Why don't you go stone someone while you're at it? HA!"

    "We've never heard this line of argumentation in the entire 2000-year history of our faith," said noted Christian apologist Frank Turek. "Mr. Piddington, with this simple question no one has thought of before, has completely dismantled my faith forever. I'm not sure what to do with my life now."

    Turek then got in his car and drove off to the fedora store to purchase his first fedora.

    Theologians at the Vatican, Oxford, and Rick Warren's 2-week pastor's college are reportedly scrambling to find an answer to the shellfish/fabrics dilemma, but so far have produced no results. "We're pretty sure it's over for us," said one theologian anonymously. "It's been a good run, but it's time to pack it up and go home."

    At publishing time, Christians had fired a devastating volley back at the atheists by challenging them to explain the existence of triple bacon cheeseburgers as well as everything else.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




McCarthy Announces He Has Greenlit A Probe To Examine The Possibility Of Investigating Preliminary Meetings Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Democrats Say Republicans Just Using Impeachment To Try To Get Around Rigged Election System


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Republican congressman Byron Donalds said it would be a “great honor” if former President Donald Trump were to ask him to be his running-mate for 2024, saying the ultimate goal is for Trump to win and he’ll do whatever he’s asked to help him do that.
weaponized political FBI needs major reform or replacement
2019, 40 Democrats signed a letter saying they condemned the Nazi Azov Battalion in Ukraine
Voters in Arizona will have the opportunity to enact broad border security measures in November as the state faces a flood of illegal immigration after the Republican-led state legislature passed a resolution that will put the measures on the general election ballot.
51 ex-spies lies to the American people threw the 2020 election
The former White House physician for Presidents Barack Obama and Donald Trump says that a new report this week about how President Joe Biden is struggling to function behind closed doors represents a serious threat to the U.S.
The Tikva Forum for Families of Hostages, an Israeli group created to represent the families of those taken during Hamas’ October 7 terrorist attack, urged President Joe Biden to stop interfering with Israel’s campaign to destroy the terrorist group.

HbAD1

how the Democrats set up the January 6 riot at the Capitol
this is why the left is now attacking Supreme Court justices
Addiction is not just a physical issue, it is also deeply spiritual
told to let all single males just walk in excpet for 6 countries
After saying the six-foot social distancing guideline during the COVID-19 pandemic “sort of just appeared,” Dr. Anthony Fauci on Monday testified that his statement had been “distorted” and that it “actually” came from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Accepting the unacceptable makes the unacceptable acceptable
combined traditional conservatives and populist conservatives win majority for first time

HbAD2

The state Supreme Court has agreed to hear one of two pending cases involving North Carolina bar owners challenging Gov. Roy Cooper's COVID-related shutdowns in 2020.
The Biden administration canceled over 350,000 asylum cases, allowing migrants to stay in the United States indefinitely in a move that experts called “mass amnesty.”
Former White House medical advisor Anthony Fauci changed his view of COVID vaccines from 2021 to 2024, clips show.
UK votes for parliament on July 4th, and EU voting for its parliament now
globalist PM Tusk coddles illegal aliens as soldier loses life defending border
inflated numbers do not tell the true story

HbAD3

 
Back to Top