A local man realized he's been singing the 1999 hit song "All Star" by Smash Mouth in his head since the song's release 24 years ago.
Published: Saturday, August 12th, 2023 @ 6:42 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The Galactic Empire announced new merchandise today, with the Emperor releasing a special hat saying "But his Death Star".
Published: Thursday, July 27th, 2023 @ 10:16 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local gangster Jabba the Hutt has threatened legal action against United Airlines, accusing the company of discrimination after he was charged for multiple seats on a flight. Hutt alleges he is being treated differently because of his weight.
Published: Thursday, July 27th, 2023 @ 1:22 am
By: Babylon Bee
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RALEIGH: Today, Governor Roy Cooper signed one bill into law:
Published: Thursday, July 13th, 2023 @ 9:14 am
By: Governor's Office
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Elon Musk’s Neuralink neurotechnology startup company received approval from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) on Thursday to launch its first in-human clinical study.
Published: Monday, June 12th, 2023 @ 9:15 am
By: Daily Wire
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North Carolina Secretary of State Elaine Marshall announced during this month’s small business week that new business filings are still at near-record levels in North Carolina.
Published: Sunday, June 11th, 2023 @ 11:45 pm
By: John Locke Foundation
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Appearing before the Senate beneath a mysterious, hooded robe, California Senator Diane Feinstein addressed the hushed audience, speaking in a gravelly, Sidious-like voice.
Published: Friday, June 9th, 2023 @ 12:20 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Disney World announced it is shutting down an immersive Star Wars luxury hotel that opened in March 2022.
Published: Monday, June 5th, 2023 @ 7:26 am
By: Daily Wire
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A local father determined the time had come to sit his young son down and officially have "The Talk"...about the Star Wars sequel trilogy. The man reportedly knew he couldn't avoid it any longer once the boy began to talk about how great The Last Jedi was.
Published: Sunday, June 4th, 2023 @ 4:06 am
By: Babylon Bee
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One of Australia’s biggest maritime mysteries has been solved with the discovery of a ship that sank 50 years ago, sending its crew on a harrowing journey of survival.
Published: Friday, June 2nd, 2023 @ 12:09 am
By: Daily Wire
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In a massive technological breakthrough, the Galactic Empire has at last developed a door that doesn't simply open when you shoot the control panel with a blaster.
Published: Tuesday, May 30th, 2023 @ 7:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a bid to draw large corporate interests to conduct business in South Carolina and bring tens of thousands of jobs to the state, former governor and U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley has informed Emperor Palpatine that South Carolina is the ideal location to build a new Death Star.
Published: Monday, May 29th, 2023 @ 10:13 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Former CNN host Don Lemon has quickly landed on his feet after his sudden firing yesterday, as he will now have the opportunity to continue lecturing the American public from his new position as a barista at his local Starbucks.
Published: Saturday, May 27th, 2023 @ 4:24 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz asserted during a Senate hearing Wednesday that American cities have worrisome crime and homelessness problems which have impaired the company’s operations.
Published: Sunday, April 16th, 2023 @ 6:31 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The Manhattan grand jury investigating former President Donald Trump’s alleged $130,000 hush money payment to adult film actress Stormy Daniels won’t hear evidence in the case for a month as it goes on a previously scheduled break.
Published: Sunday, April 16th, 2023 @ 8:31 am
By: Daily Wire
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Porn actress Stormy Daniels wants to testify against former President Donald Trump and hopes his Manhattan trial ends with him in jail.
Published: Monday, April 10th, 2023 @ 1:00 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Russian pop star Dima Nova was found dead from drowning on Sunday after criticizing Russian President Vladimir Putin. He was 34.
Published: Tuesday, April 4th, 2023 @ 10:29 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Some politicians and political pundits responded on Saturday to former President Donald Trump’s claim that he will be arrested on Tuesday in a case involving an alleged $130,000 hush money payment made to porn star Stormy Daniels during the 2016 presidential election.
Published: Friday, March 31st, 2023 @ 7:49 am
By: Daily Wire
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If Donald Trump were to be indicted for having a tawdry tryst with a trollop, he should probably plead guilty post haste. But the case brought against him by the Manhattan district attorney’s office is not about whether or not he cheated on his wife with porn actress Stormy Daniels
Published: Tuesday, March 28th, 2023 @ 1:19 am
By: Daily Wire
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The North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services is cautioning families about certain infant formula that has been recalled by Perrigo for potentially containing a bacteria that can lead to illness in infants.
Published: Wednesday, March 22nd, 2023 @ 10:58 am
By: Eastern NC NOW Staff
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Former President Donald Trump has “no plans” to testify in the grand jury investigation into his involvement in the $130,000 hush payment made to former pornstar Stormy Daniels during the 2016 presidential election, according to his lawyer.
Published: Monday, March 20th, 2023 @ 10:37 pm
By: Daily Wire
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When former NASA astronaut Scott Kelly, the identical twin of Arizona Democrat senator Mark Kelly, tried to get SpaceX CEO Elon Musk to let Ukraine use SpaceX’s Starlink satellite internet service for use by the country’s military, Musk rebuffed the attempt.
Published: Tuesday, February 21st, 2023 @ 3:56 am
By: Daily Wire
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All-Star catcher and Hall of Fame broadcaster Tim McCarver, the favorite catcher of two Hall of Fame pitchers, Bob Gibson and Steve Carlton, has died at the age of 81.
Published: Friday, February 17th, 2023 @ 11:18 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Two innocent local children have been left on the brink of starvation after their father failed to cut their sandwiches into little dinosaur shapes the way their mother does.
Published: Tuesday, February 14th, 2023 @ 10:18 am
By: Babylon Bee
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According to sources, President Biden's team is planning to submerge the President in a bacta tank tonight so his mind and body will be prepared for his upcoming State of the Union address.
Published: Saturday, February 11th, 2023 @ 2:10 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Headlines detailing pro-union pushes at Amazon, Starbucks, and other big companies, coupled with President Biden’s vow to be the “most pro-union President leading the most pro-union administration in American history,” may lead us to think union membership is seeing a resurgence.
Published: Wednesday, February 8th, 2023 @ 9:04 am
By: John Locke Foundation
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Jedi Master Yoda, living in self-imposed exile, proudly announced to his first visitor in decades that his pronouns are Him/He.
Published: Friday, January 27th, 2023 @ 3:13 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Legendary 60s rocker and founder of two huge bands from that time — the Byrds, and Crosby, Stills & Nash — has died at the age of 81, his representative shared on Thursday.
Published: Friday, January 20th, 2023 @ 11:49 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The conflict among congressional Republicans took yet another surprise twist today. After what had initially started as a throwaway nomination, the nation was left stunned as the position of Speaker of the House was unexpectedly filled by Jar Jar Binks.
Published: Sunday, January 8th, 2023 @ 10:35 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket conducted its record-setting 15th mission on Saturday, further extending the company's record for reusable rocket missions.
Published: Saturday, December 31st, 2022 @ 5:57 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The First Family is celebrating their second Christmas in the White House. This year's theme, "American Treasures" honors the unique heritage of America.
Published: Monday, December 26th, 2022 @ 9:10 am
By: Stan Deatherage
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In a move that seems destined to produce both increased interest and controversy, coffee giant Starbucks has announced the start of a new promotion in which customers will receive a free shot of espresso if they are able to correctly guess their barista's gender when ordering
Published: Tuesday, December 6th, 2022 @ 5:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The stars of “Chrisley Knows Best” were sentenced on Monday to federal prison after being convicted for a slew of financial crimes in June.
Published: Monday, November 28th, 2022 @ 9:56 pm
By: Daily Wire
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In a groundbreaking affirmative action program aimed at diversifying its workforce, Starbucks has hired its first and only straight white cis-male barista.
Published: Friday, November 11th, 2022 @ 9:21 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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