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The Sheriff then stated he worked for the judicial branch. That was enough internet for me in one day. I could feel my brain shrinking.
Published: Tuesday, February 24th, 2026 @ 11:19 am
By: Harry Meredith, Jr.
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As part of an initiative to obtain a more accurate count of the nation's population, President Donald Trump ordered U.S. census takers not to count anyone wearing a sombrero.
Published: Friday, September 5th, 2025 @ 2:28 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Something fishy going on here
Published: Friday, May 17th, 2024 @ 7:15 pm
By: Beaufort Observer Editorial Team
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Many people are familiar with Dante's famous "9 Circles of Hell," where different categories of pitiful souls spend eternity in horrific torment for their sins.
Published: Saturday, March 30th, 2024 @ 8:04 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Calls are growing in Sacramento for a criminal investigation to be launched into California Democrat Governor Gavin Newsom after an explosive story published this week said that Newsom created an unusual special carveout in a piece of legislation that benefited one of his top donors.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 9:06 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Famed Christian apologist and professor Dr. William Lane Craig irrefutably proved God's existence today by simply pointing to a plate of freshly made fish tacos.
Published: Thursday, March 21st, 2024 @ 8:06 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Southwest Airlines, known for its humane "person of size" seating policy, was reportedly conned out of an entire row of seats by a Denver man who ate too many tacos. After some quick thinking, airline passenger Adrian Herald ate 17 tacos to score extra seating for free.
Published: Wednesday, February 28th, 2024 @ 10:01 am
By: Babylon Bee
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When your wife is screaming like crazy as your progeny prepares to burst forth from her loins, it can be a bit hard to know what to say! Here is a handy list you can consult of the seven most helpful things to say to your wife while she is in labor:
Published: Saturday, February 10th, 2024 @ 9:05 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Eastern North Carolina has lots of history, beautiful nature, and different cultures. There are cute towns by the coast and lively cities. Anyone visiting can find lots of interesting things to see and do in this pretty part of...
Published: Wednesday, February 7th, 2024 @ 11:48 am
By: Francesca
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National fast-food chain Jack in the Box was forced to declare bankruptcy today immediately after news broke that hip hop artist Snoop Dogg announced he is giving up smoking weed.
Published: Thursday, January 25th, 2024 @ 12:32 am
By: Babylon Bee
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It's November! That means it's almost December, which means it's almost 2024, which means it'll eventually be election time.
Published: Wednesday, January 17th, 2024 @ 3:03 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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SAN DIEGO, CA — Following the passing of legislation to raise the minimum wage for fast food workers in California, San Diego-based restaurant chain Jack-In-The-Box has announced it will now be rolling out a special offer of two tacos for just $20.
Published: Friday, December 1st, 2023 @ 1:42 am
By: Babylon Bee
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It's that "special time" of the month, your wife has that crazy look in her eyes, and you know your next words could be your last. What do you say?
Published: Tuesday, November 21st, 2023 @ 11:44 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In response to public outcry that America has descended to the level of a banana republic, the Biden administration assured the American people that the United States is a democratic banana republic.
Published: Friday, October 13th, 2023 @ 12:06 am
By: Babylon Bee
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An ancient, wizened sage from a bygone era gathered a group of fascinated children around his knee to recount the Legend of the 29-cent Del Taco Value Taco.
Published: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 @ 2:09 am
By: Babylon Bee
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In an attempt to avoid further injury and traumatic incidents involving Caucasians eating food that's far too spicy for them, the scientists behind the Scoville Scale have announced they are releasing a separate spiciness scale for white people.
Published: Friday, September 22nd, 2023 @ 4:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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With a wedding hanging in the balance after running out of booze, Satan stepped up to miraculously turn water into Bud Light.
Published: Sunday, September 10th, 2023 @ 11:14 am
By: Babylon Bee
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It has been scientifically proven that it's impossible to know what women want (and we all know you can't question science). In fact, there is usually a vast discrepancy between what men think women want and what women actually want.
Published: Thursday, August 17th, 2023 @ 10:32 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Following a slight hiccup involving a tin can and 6,000 PSI of water pressure in the unforgiving depths of the Northern Atlantic Ocean, deep-sea tourism company OceanGate is now offering a 20% off coupon for its next tour.
Published: Sunday, August 6th, 2023 @ 10:11 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With Title 42 set to expire tonight, First Lady Jill Biden was thrilled to hear that the country will soon be flooded with record numbers of breakfast tacos.
Published: Tuesday, June 13th, 2023 @ 8:26 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Researchers with the U.S. Food & Drug Administration have determined that cereal reaches its peak flavor at 10 pm if eaten on the couch while watching a true crime documentary.
Published: Saturday, June 10th, 2023 @ 11:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Good news! Achieving peak physical fitness doesn't have to be an unsolvable enigma. There are surefire ways to guarantee you a ripped, wrecked, yoked, strapped, shredded physique in no time.
Published: Thursday, June 8th, 2023 @ 2:51 am
By: Babylon Bee
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There is growing anticipation for a New York judge to place a gag order on Donald Trump, a move that may complicate the former president’s plan to deliver a speech after he is arraigned on Tuesday.
Published: Tuesday, April 25th, 2023 @ 8:52 am
By: Daily Wire
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Former Manhattan District Attorney Cy Vance Jr. shared a word of caution on Sunday in response to former President Donald Trump venting as he faces an unprecedented indictment.
Published: Thursday, April 20th, 2023 @ 5:31 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Leaked details about Donald Trump‘s indictment are grounds for criminal charges, a top official from the former president’s administration said on Sunday.
Published: Wednesday, April 19th, 2023 @ 8:14 am
By: Daily Wire
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After he is arraigned in Manhattan on Tuesday, former President Donald Trump plans to deliver a public address that same day.
Published: Wednesday, April 19th, 2023 @ 8:04 am
By: Daily Wire
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President Joe Biden repeatedly dodged questions from reporters Friday morning about the indictment of former President Donald Trump on his way to board Marine One.
Published: Monday, April 17th, 2023 @ 11:49 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Former President Donald Trump’s attorney Joe Tacopina said during an interview Friday morning that he does not expect his client to be placed in handcuffs when he turns himself in to New York law enforcement officials next week.
Published: Monday, April 17th, 2023 @ 10:54 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Donald Trump journeyed on Monday to New York where he is expected to be arraigned Tuesday after he became the first former president to face criminal charges.
Published: Saturday, April 15th, 2023 @ 6:49 am
By: Daily Wire
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Joe Tacopina, former President Donald Trump’s attorney, said over the weekend that the president’s claims that he would be arrested Tuesday last week were based on leaks that NBC News had previously reported.
Published: Wednesday, April 12th, 2023 @ 5:51 pm
By: Daily Wire
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New York Supreme Court Judge Juan Merchan, who is poised to preside over the historic alleged hush-money prosecution of former President Donald Trump, warned Trump to refrain from posting on social media, as it could foment civil unrest.
Published: Tuesday, April 11th, 2023 @ 7:05 am
By: Daily Wire
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The office of Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg shot back on Thursday at House Republicans who opened an investigation this week into the potential indictment of former President Donald Trump, arguing they lack a “legitimate basis” for their inquiry.
Published: Saturday, April 8th, 2023 @ 1:46 pm
By: Daily Wire
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PALM BEACH, FL — As rumors continue to filter in that Manhattan D.A. Alvin Bragg's attempt to indict former President Donald Trump is falling apart, a new report has indicated Trump's team of attorneys is seeking to exploit a little-known legal loophole
Published: Wednesday, April 5th, 2023 @ 12:44 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Florida Governor Ron DeSantis would be powerless to stop constituent and possible 2024 White House rival Donald Trump from being arrested on a New York City warrant if a grand jury indicts the former president, Ben Shapiro said Tuesday.
Published: Monday, April 3rd, 2023 @ 11:25 pm
By: Daily Wire
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