Disney executives announced an upcoming installment in the popular Star Wars franchise that will feature a female Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.
Published: Thursday, April 4th, 2024 @ 6:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After years of training to be a pilot for the Rebel Alliance, eager young pilot Nej Berik was devastated to discover he had been assigned to fly the totally lame B-wing fighter.
Published: Thursday, January 18th, 2024 @ 6:29 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A U.S. Navy warship shot down more than a dozen terrorist drones fired by Iranian-backed Houthi terrorists based in Yemen that were operating over the Red Sea on Saturday as attacks against U.S. forces and large commercial shipping vessels continues to escalate.
Published: Saturday, January 13th, 2024 @ 12:58 am
By: Daily Wire
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Controversial former U.S. women's soccer player Megan Rapinoe was not unemployed for long, as the Galactic Empire reportedly recruited the recently retired athlete to train its stormtroopers to shoot.
Published: Friday, October 6th, 2023 @ 10:38 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Emperor Palpatine was said to be very pleased with the latest ballistics report on stormtrooper marksmanship, as the Imperial Army's collective accuracy percentage improved dramatically after adding pistol braces to all blasters.
Published: Friday, September 8th, 2023 @ 8:46 am
By: Babylon Bee
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China and Russia sent naval warships near the coast of Alaska during a joint naval patrol earlier this week, prompting a response from the U.S. Navy and condemnation from Alaska’s senators.
Published: Sunday, August 27th, 2023 @ 2:54 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The Galactic Empire announced new merchandise today, with the Emperor releasing a special hat saying "But his Death Star".
Published: Thursday, July 27th, 2023 @ 10:16 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local gangster Jabba the Hutt has threatened legal action against United Airlines, accusing the company of discrimination after he was charged for multiple seats on a flight. Hutt alleges he is being treated differently because of his weight.
Published: Thursday, July 27th, 2023 @ 1:22 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Appearing before the Senate beneath a mysterious, hooded robe, California Senator Diane Feinstein addressed the hushed audience, speaking in a gravelly, Sidious-like voice.
Published: Friday, June 9th, 2023 @ 12:20 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Disney World announced it is shutting down an immersive Star Wars luxury hotel that opened in March 2022.
Published: Monday, June 5th, 2023 @ 7:26 am
By: Daily Wire
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A local father determined the time had come to sit his young son down and officially have "The Talk"...about the Star Wars sequel trilogy. The man reportedly knew he couldn't avoid it any longer once the boy began to talk about how great The Last Jedi was.
Published: Sunday, June 4th, 2023 @ 4:06 am
By: Babylon Bee
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In a massive technological breakthrough, the Galactic Empire has at last developed a door that doesn't simply open when you shoot the control panel with a blaster.
Published: Tuesday, May 30th, 2023 @ 7:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a bid to draw large corporate interests to conduct business in South Carolina and bring tens of thousands of jobs to the state, former governor and U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley has informed Emperor Palpatine that South Carolina is the ideal location to build a new Death Star.
Published: Monday, May 29th, 2023 @ 10:13 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Brazil’s New Leftist Regime Allows Iran To Dock Two Warships Involved In Terrorism In Rio De JaneiroNew leftist Brazilian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva allowed the Islamic Republic of Iran to dock two warships in Rio de Janeiro over the weekend, sparking fears about how close a U.S. adversary is operating near America’s shores.
Published: Friday, March 10th, 2023 @ 8:44 am
By: Daily Wire
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According to sources, President Biden's team is planning to submerge the President in a bacta tank tonight so his mind and body will be prepared for his upcoming State of the Union address.
Published: Saturday, February 11th, 2023 @ 2:10 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The Chinese Communist Party has assured world leaders that the massive fleet of warships heading toward Taiwan is just checking on the weather in the Taiwan Strait.
Published: Saturday, February 11th, 2023 @ 5:58 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Jedi Master Yoda, living in self-imposed exile, proudly announced to his first visitor in decades that his pronouns are Him/He.
Published: Friday, January 27th, 2023 @ 3:13 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Iran, the leading country in state-sponsored terrorism around the globe, is furthering its reach, announcing it will place warships in the Panama Canal this year.
Published: Tuesday, January 17th, 2023 @ 4:41 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The conflict among congressional Republicans took yet another surprise twist today. After what had initially started as a throwaway nomination, the nation was left stunned as the position of Speaker of the House was unexpectedly filled by Jar Jar Binks.
Published: Sunday, January 8th, 2023 @ 10:35 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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InfoWars owner and host Alex Jones on Tuesday spoke about his viral interview with Ye, formerly known as Kanye West, in a conversation with conservative comedian and political commentator Steven Crowder.
Published: Saturday, December 24th, 2022 @ 3:47 am
By: Daily Wire
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As President Trump so aptly said, Our destiny beyond the earth is not only a matter of national identity, but a matter of national security. In early 2018, President Trump announced his intention to form a seventh branch of the military. He did so with the purpose of concentrating on space.
Published: Sunday, October 9th, 2022 @ 1:10 am
By: Connie Hanna
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A local Star Wars fan was excitedly awaiting the premiere of the new Andor series on Disney+ so that he will have fresh material about which he can spend the next several weeks complaining to anyone who dares to come near him.
Published: Wednesday, September 28th, 2022 @ 9:18 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After another controversial video was released showing the dark Jedi Force-choking a suspected Jedi Monday afternoon, Dark Lord of the Sith Supreme Darth Vader has been jailed on suspicion of excessive use of the Force.
Published: Saturday, September 24th, 2022 @ 9:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Communist China has constructed full-scale sized mockups of major U.S. warships, including an aircraft carrier, to use at a new target range complex as tensions between the U.S. and China continue to rise amid geopolitical issues in the South China Sea and responsibility for the coronavirus pandemic
Published: Tuesday, August 16th, 2022 @ 5:28 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Design Mode Cabinetry to create 139 new jobs and invest $13 million in Warsaw
Published: Wednesday, June 15th, 2022 @ 6:26 pm
By: Governor's Office
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Orthodox Star Wars fans have reportedly begun preparations for Star Wars Day, which they say occurs on May 11th.
Published: Monday, May 16th, 2022 @ 7:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Elon Musk and a brave band of adventurers snuck aboard the Twitter Death Star to free prisoners located on the space station's detention level, sources with the Galactic Rebellion confirm.
Published: Friday, April 22nd, 2022 @ 2:13 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Force Awakens is an outstanding return to the Star Wars franchise.
Published: Tuesday, January 11th, 2022 @ 6:16 pm
By: Christopher Maye
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More recently, however, the massage board has been considering requiring a massage and bodywork license from reflexologists.
Published: Tuesday, May 25th, 2021 @ 2:43 pm
By: John Locke Foundation
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Nikki Haley writes at National Review Online about efforts to protect women’s sports from today’s gender wars.
Published: Sunday, February 14th, 2021 @ 11:31 am
By: John Locke Foundation
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Simon "Gerald" Corbett, 69, passed away Thursday October 22, 2020.
Published: Thursday, October 29th, 2020 @ 10:57 am
By: Announcements
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Chris von Csefalvay writes for City Journal about the political debate surrounding face masks.
Published: Friday, July 3rd, 2020 @ 9:41 am
By: John Locke Foundation
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Just two bad days in a long year
Published: Sunday, May 24th, 2020 @ 9:00 pm
By: Bobby Tony
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