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Pope Francis issued an official statement today demanding that God remove the walls and gates that surround the Kingdom of Heaven.
Published: Wednesday, February 12th, 2025 @ 7:02 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Florida Governor Ron DeSantis warned during an interview this week that if the U.S. elects a “San Francisco Democrat” like Vice President Kamala Harris to be the next president, she will destroy the U.S. the same way other San Francisco Democrats have destroyed the city of San Francisco
Published: Tuesday, August 6th, 2024 @ 11:00 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Six construction workers who were filling potholes on the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore when a container ship rammed into one of its supports are presumed dead.
Published: Tuesday, May 7th, 2024 @ 2:48 am
By: Daily Wire
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Pope Francis lambasted leftist gender ideology during an address this week, warning that it presented an extreme danger to mankind.
Published: Thursday, March 28th, 2024 @ 7:38 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Nevada Secretary of State Francisco Aguliar, a Democrat, was sued by the Republican National Committee (RNC) last week as the party alleges the 2024 battleground state has “impossibly high” voter rolls.
Published: Sunday, March 24th, 2024 @ 6:14 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The City of San Francisco has issued a formal apology to its black residents for what it calls “decades of systemic and structural discrimination.”
Published: Tuesday, March 19th, 2024 @ 9:13 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Francis Richard Maurizzio, born November 15th, 1949 in Middletown, New York to the late Dorothy and Joseph Maurizzio Sr., peacefully passed away February 27th, 2024 at his home in Washington, North Carolina.
Published: Monday, March 4th, 2024 @ 7:49 am
By: Announcements
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To clarify previous remarks on the nature of priestly blessings and same-sex couples, the see of Peter formally announced all such blessings are only appropriate if the priest ends the blessing by quickly adding, "No homo."
Published: Monday, March 4th, 2024 @ 1:51 am
By: Babylon Bee
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PENSACOLA, FL — As controversy continues to swirl following Pope Francis's pronouncement that Catholic priests are free to bless people who are in same-sex relationships, a local protestant man slept soundly
Published: Sunday, March 3rd, 2024 @ 5:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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San Francisco State University Police have officially suspended their investigation into a 2023 protest that reportedly resulted in former NCAA swimmer Riley Gaines saying she was held “hostage” by radical trans activists during an appearance on campus.
Published: Sunday, March 3rd, 2024 @ 9:45 am
By: Daily Wire
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The Catholic Church announced this week Pope Francis has excommunicated the Apostle Paul over the latter's outdated views on women, families, and social issues.
Published: Thursday, February 22nd, 2024 @ 6:41 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In what has become one of the city's most cherished traditions, San Francisco residents gathered this evening for the ceremonial lighting of the giant crack pipe.
Published: Saturday, February 3rd, 2024 @ 8:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The most honorable and benevolent Supreme Leader of the glorious Chinese Empire arrived in San Francisco this week to inspect his newest colony in The Americas.
Published: Saturday, January 20th, 2024 @ 1:50 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After spending five minutes in the room with President Biden, President Xi Jinping made the call to go ahead and invade Taiwan.
Published: Friday, January 19th, 2024 @ 2:32 am
By: Babylon Bee
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On the freshly scented avenues of San Francisco, a summit was held today between one of the most feared communist dictators in the world and President Xi.
Published: Wednesday, January 17th, 2024 @ 11:37 am
By: Babylon Bee
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"It’s very literally not hurting you."
Published: Monday, January 15th, 2024 @ 5:21 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The Church's position on the issue remains unchanged.
Published: Sunday, January 14th, 2024 @ 10:15 am
By: Daily Wire
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Pope Francis has officially sacked Bishop Joseph Strickland of Tyler, Texas for being "way too Catholic."
Published: Saturday, January 13th, 2024 @ 12:35 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Pope Francis is targeting yet another staunch religious conservative Cardinal in the Catholic Church who has openly criticized the Vatican.
Published: Sunday, December 10th, 2023 @ 10:19 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Pope Francis today released a papal decree warning Christians against going through the narrow gate, and instead encouraging everyone to take the broad road.
Published: Friday, December 1st, 2023 @ 11:49 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Xi dined with more than 300 American business executives.
Published: Thursday, November 30th, 2023 @ 7:29 am
By: Daily Wire
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Recent comments from California Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom surfaced online showing him defending San Francisco for clearing out areas of the city occupied by homeless camps and public drug markets before world leaders
Published: Tuesday, November 28th, 2023 @ 12:58 am
By: Daily Wire
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San Francisco officials reportedly cleared out areas of the city occupied by homeless camps and public drug markets before top world leaders and CEOS, and tens of thousands of other attendees, arrived in the Bay Area for the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation Summit (APEC).
Published: Sunday, November 26th, 2023 @ 1:03 pm
By: Daily Wire
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On Saturday, news broke that Pope Francis had removed Bishop Joseph Strickland from his position as Bishop of Tyler, Texas, effective immediately and without appeal, according to the announcement from Holy See Press Office.
Published: Thursday, November 23rd, 2023 @ 2:26 pm
By: Daily Wire
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With Christmas just around the corner, Mayor London Breed of San Francisco encouraged residents to get their shoplifting done early this year.
Published: Thursday, November 23rd, 2023 @ 11:48 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A news crew from the Czech Republic was reportedly robbed at gunpoint in San Francisco on Sunday as the team reported on the Asia-Pacific Economic Partnership (APEC) summit taking place in the city.
Published: Thursday, November 23rd, 2023 @ 11:33 am
By: Daily Wire
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Joining the groups of outspoken activists who attach themselves to prominent works of art, Pope Francis has glued himself to the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel to protest climate change.
Published: Saturday, November 11th, 2023 @ 2:57 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The situation in San Francisco has deteriorated to the degree that now passing ruffians are saying "Ni!" at will to old ladies.
Published: Monday, November 6th, 2023 @ 5:02 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Disgruntled robbers in the Bay Area began to consider the option of packing up shop and relocating to another city, citing the fact that everything in San Francisco has already been robbed.
Published: Saturday, October 28th, 2023 @ 5:01 am
By: Babylon Bee
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On the eve of the beginning of a highly anticipated Vatican Synod, a senior American Cardinal and four others have published a series of questions, or dubia, they presented to Pope Francis
Published: Sunday, October 22nd, 2023 @ 6:45 am
By: Daily Wire
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'It is the right of those under attack to defend themselves'
Published: Thursday, October 19th, 2023 @ 1:49 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Citizens braced themselves for yet another heavy crime surge this week after the city of San Francisco fined The Batman for putting a bright, obnoxious "Bat Signal" on the roof of a downtown building.
Published: Thursday, September 28th, 2023 @ 8:03 am
By: Babylon Bee
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"The unchecked drug dealing is plainly the root of our current problems."
Published: Monday, September 25th, 2023 @ 6:39 pm
By: Daily Wire
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A San Francisco shop owner has died after being brutally attacked by a robber who beat him into a coma.
Published: Sunday, September 24th, 2023 @ 8:25 am
By: Daily Wire
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