With Progressive Women Out Protesting For Abortion, Men In Office Finally Get Some Work Done | Eastern North Carolina Now | Men across the country are finally able to get some work done at the office this week, as their progressive female co-workers are out protesting for abortion rights.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.    Men across the country are finally able to get some work done at the office this week, as their progressive female co-workers are out protesting for abortion rights.

    "Thank God-finally some peace and quiet around here," said local inside sales manager Chet Biggins while emptying his inbox. "I've never been more productive in my life!"

    Experts say that while some women are taking days off work to attend pro-choice rallies, other women are absent due to the massive "Roe v. Wade is DEAD" parties they are throwing at home. With the nation's offices emptied of all women, productivity has skyrocketed.

    "Unfortunately, bigotry and sexist humor have also skyrocketed since we left the office," said local HR Manager Sandy McSnootby. "We need women to get back in the office ASAP to monitor the behavior of these men and stop by their desks constantly to chat and interrupt them and start drama and make sure they are using their correct pronouns and make sure someone is cleaning the microwave."

    At publishing time, sources confirmed every office in America now smells like body odor, and all the plants are dead.
Go Back

HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki on Tuesday downplayed the Biden administration reportedly flying planeloads of illegal immigrants into Florida and New York late at night, saying that the flights were actually “early flights — earlier than you might like to take a flight.”
Rep. Liz Cheney’s (R-WY) role on the January 6 committee is sparking heavy resentment from voters in her home state far from Washington, D.C.
A federal Appeals Court will not block the N.C. Green Party from appearing on the general election ballot.
Famed neurosurgeon Ben Carson, who served as former President Trump’s secretary of Housing and Urban Development, blasted the FBI raid on Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home on Monday, comparing the action to those of infamous communist tyrants Mao Zedong and Fidel Castro.
Sen. Tom Cotton (R-AR) addressed the Biden administration’s latest controversy, flying illegal aliens across the U.S. in the dead of night, by saying that the administration was desperately trying to avoid the public seeing what they are doing because it is a political disaster for them.
President Joe Biden’s Attorney General, Merrick Garland, announced Thursday afternoon that he personally approved the FBI search warrant on the home of former President Donald Trump this week and that the Department has moved to unseal the search warrant.
Ted Budd Validates the Charlotte Observer’s Reporting that Working Families are FREAKING OUT About How the Inflation Caused by Biden Policies Supported by Beasley are Crushing Family Budgets And, of Course, the TV Ad Reeks of Cinematic Excellence
Former Democratic presidential candidate Tulsi Gabbard ripped the Biden-Harris administration for statements she said promoted the use of puberty blockers for children.
N.C. Republican Congressional delegation outraged at FBI raid on former President Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago home in Florida.

HbAD1

Virginia Democratic gubernatorial candidate Terry McAuliffe cut an interview short on Tuesday with a local news station after the interviewer asked McAuliffe questions that he apparently did not want to answer.
Inflation remains at a 40-year high, and while Congress prepares to spend hundreds of trillions of dollars more, families across North Carolina are struggling with the higher costs of getting their children ready to return to school.
Monkeypox cases continue to rise in New York City, prompting officials to declare a public health emergency on Saturday while estimating that approximately 150,000 Big Apple residents face possible exposure.
Its now indifferent to human suffering, to life and death
The “Inflation Reduction Act,” which passed the U.S. Senate on Sunday, is set to pass the U.S. House tomorrow, and the final version will not contain guarantees that those making under $400,000 per year will avoid any resulting new taxes.
Federal law enforcement officials reportedly “delivered subpoenas or paid visits” to several Pennsylvania Republican lawmakers this week following their raid on former President Donald Trump’s Florida residence at Mar-a-Lago.
Yuan, ruble and other currencies emerging as alternatives
Just more proof of how corrupt the FBI has become

HbAD2

U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is no longer listed as faculty on George Washington University Law School’s website and will reportedly not teach at the Washington, D.C. school in the upcoming semester.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney, who famously started two wars in the Middle East and shot a dude in the face while hunting, now says Donald Trump is the greatest threat America has ever faced.
Condoleezza Rice, a former Secretary of State and current Director of the Hoover Institution, slammed Critical Race Theory during an interview on ABC’s “The View”
President Joe Biden claimed over the weekend that the so-called Inflation Reduction Act of 2022 would not raise taxes on those making less than $400,000 per year, but a non-partisan organization that crunched the numbers says it will.
A transgender cheerleader, who is a biological male, was criminally charged last week for allegedly choking a female teammate at a cheerleading camp.
The FBI raided former President Trump's Mar-a-Lago home and found incriminating evidence that he was once President of the United States of America!
Rep. Victoria Spartz (R-IN), who was born in the Soviet Union, grilled U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland on Thursday over the actions that the FBI is allegedly taking and over a variety of security concerns that have erupted under President Joe Biden’s administration.
A national Republican group is urging the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to reject Democrats' request to keep the Green Party off the N.C. ballot.
NBA legend Bill Russell has passed away at 88 years old, according to a statement posted to social media.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top