8 Signs It's Time For Your Kid To Change Schools | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    While government officials usually do an excellent job making decisions for your family, even they can make mistakes! Here are eight signs that it's time to change schools from what the government chose for your kid:

1. Your 12th-grader is still failing shapes and colors: Really becomes an issue when they start driving.
2. The school uniform is a furry suit with ears and a tail: Concerning.
3. The government insists the school is fine and no change is necessary: Huge red flag!
4. They don't teach about the Roman Empire in history class: Get your sons out of there, NOW.
5. The tetherball court on the playground is just a pole where they tie a white kid to a string and smack them: Not an ideal environment for a youngster.
6. The homecoming queen is also the running back: Time to leave, kiddos.
7. They suspended your child for screaming "MAGA!!!" over and over again during study hall: Darn liberals.
8. The school has a soccer team: RED ALERT!

    If you need more advice, feel free to schedule an appointment with the government-approved, gender-fluid, rainbow-haired counselor. They'll know what's best for your kid!