You knew it was going to happen. As soon as we all heard that President Joe Biden was going to go to Hawaii to survey the death and destruction of the recent wildfires, every American with half of a brain knew that “Mr. Empathy-in-Chief” was going to make it all about himself
Published: Sunday, September 17th, 2023 @ 4:02 am
By: Daily Wire
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Moses, who led God's chosen people out of the land of Egypt, reportedly asked God to part the waters of the Red Sea again real quick after he realized he must have dropped his sunglasses in the midst of the waters.
Published: Tuesday, September 12th, 2023 @ 8:30 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After decades of work culminated in the invention of lab-grown beef, Dr. Joshua Patel was humiliated after realizing cows already exist.
Published: Sunday, September 10th, 2023 @ 12:33 am
By: Babylon Bee
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BEMIDJI, MN — With inflation and other economic woes continuing to plague the nation, The White House took the time to assure the nation over Labor Day that these troubling issues were only affecting people who needed to buy stuff.
Published: Saturday, September 9th, 2023 @ 3:19 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a press conference this morning, interim DC Police Chief Ashan Benedict said that while they have top investigators on the case, they may never know exactly who left a bag of cocaine labeled "Property of H. Biden" in the White House while Hunter Biden was there.
Published: Wednesday, September 6th, 2023 @ 12:25 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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When challenged to explain why he has been unable to fulfill a campaign promise to crack down on drilling for oil and gas, President Joe Biden said the courts stormed in and ruined his plans.
Published: Monday, September 4th, 2023 @ 7:08 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Over the last 50 years, federal bureaucrats have managed to recover only three percent of endangered species, despite the expansive authority, powers, and funding granted to them by the Endangered Species Act (ESA).
Published: Tuesday, August 15th, 2023 @ 1:51 am
By: Daily Wire
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The University of Texas at Austin will host workshops on “affirming LGBTQIA+ people” and LGBT allyship, which warn of “heterosexual” and “monosexual” privilege.
Published: Saturday, August 12th, 2023 @ 9:14 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Today marked the end of an era, as the Mafia announced it was officially closing its Chicago branch due to the rising wave of violent crime in the city.
Published: Monday, August 7th, 2023 @ 12:37 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Actor Cillian Murphy admitted he went to unhealthy extremes while dieting for his titular role in the Christopher Nolan film “Oppenheimer.”
Published: Sunday, August 6th, 2023 @ 8:08 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Church leaders with the Southern Baptist Convention are debating a measure to enshrine a ban on appointing female pastors, with many frustrated attendees now wishing God had written some sort of book telling them whether or not a pastor can be a woman.
Published: Sunday, July 23rd, 2023 @ 8:27 am
By: Babylon Bee
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News Nation host and ABC News Chief Legal Analyst Dan Abrams claimed Wednesday that President Joe Biden’s embattled son Hunter was treated more harshly by the Justice Department than he would have been if his last name had not been Biden.
Published: Friday, July 21st, 2023 @ 1:34 pm
By: Daily Wire
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On June 5, journalists Leslie Kean and Ralph Blumenthal — who were responsible for the New York Times report published in 2017 regarding the Pentagon’s then-unacknowledged UFO investigation program — released a story at The Debrief on whistleblower David Grusch.
Published: Tuesday, July 11th, 2023 @ 4:17 pm
By: Daily Wire
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In a new discovery, a team of highly respected theologians has announced that there is, indeed, an expansive library of audiobooks in Hell, but, unfortunately, every book is voiced by actress and rapper Awkwafina.
Published: Sunday, June 25th, 2023 @ 8:25 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After losing much of his personal wealth, his children, his physical health, and his reputation among his friends, witnesses report local patriarch Job had finally lost the will to live after discovering his cell phone had died.
Published: Sunday, June 18th, 2023 @ 2:56 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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N.C. Supreme Court Justice Phil Berger Jr. says the state's highest court continues to wrestle with property rights protection tied to the "fruits of their own labor" clause in the state constitution.
Published: Wednesday, June 14th, 2023 @ 4:59 am
By: Carolina Journal
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President Joe Biden kicked off the first day of “World Elder Abuse Awareness Month” by tripping on what appeared to be a flat surface at the Air Force Academy’s graduation ceremony.
Published: Wednesday, June 14th, 2023 @ 4:43 am
By: Daily Wire
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Author J.K. Rowling unloaded on British journalist Patrick Strudwick in a lengthy tweet on Monday, accusing him of running with a demonstrably false story about a “Let Women Speak” event that took place in Australia.
Published: Tuesday, June 13th, 2023 @ 6:36 pm
By: Daily Wire
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According to sources, the prophet Ezekiel is absolutely kicking himself for not thinking to patent a recipe for sprouted flourless bread prepared over cow dung because he imagined no one in their right mind would want to eat it.
Published: Monday, June 12th, 2023 @ 8:15 am
By: Babylon Bee
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While many people have heard of Judeo-Christian values, Dennis Prager believes few can articulate them, which he laments, because, in his words, “Judeo-Christian values are the moral foundation of Western Civilization.”
Published: Saturday, June 10th, 2023 @ 7:40 am
By: Daily Wire
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The libertarian Cato Institute is supporting two N.C. drunk driving defendants' plea to have their case heard by the U.S. Supreme Court.
Published: Thursday, May 11th, 2023 @ 2:09 pm
By: Carolina Journal
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Beaufort County Community College recognized its top-performing students on April 27.
Published: Wednesday, May 10th, 2023 @ 6:28 pm
By: Attila Nemecz
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The Arctic Institute issued a call for researchers to submit papers for a series examining “heteronormativity” in the far northern portion of the planet.
Published: Wednesday, May 3rd, 2023 @ 5:04 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Two Democrats challenging President Joe Biden in the 2024 primary are calling foul over the absence of planned debates.
Published: Sunday, April 30th, 2023 @ 10:02 pm
By: Daily Wire
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A mugwump is somebody who sits on a fence with his face, AKA the mug, on one side, and his derriere, AKA the wump, on the other. Historically, they are seen as politically independent, with allegiances to neither political party.
Published: Monday, April 17th, 2023 @ 8:32 am
By: Daily Wire
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Ministers, seminaries, and denominational entities across the nation poured out prayers for Covenant Presbyterian Church and its senior minister, Chad Scruggs, after he lost his nine-year-old daughter in the Monday shooting at The Covenant School in Nashville, Tennessee.
Published: Saturday, April 15th, 2023 @ 6:43 am
By: Daily Wire
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Tonight, playing the piano through the score of Les Mis, I had an epiphany. Empty Chairs and Empty Tables. One Day More. A Little Drop of Rain.
Published: Friday, April 14th, 2023 @ 8:52 am
By: Lib Campbell
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New discoveries from archeological digs and ancient texts have led biblical scholars to believe that, in addition to all of the other catastrophes and maladies that plagued Job in his life, he was also a huge Chicago Cubs fan.
Published: Thursday, April 13th, 2023 @ 1:58 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Not since KLA shock elements seized Kosovo province from the clutches of Belgrade have a pair of southern gunslingers stunned the world like Isaiah Wong and Nijel Pack the weekend past.
Published: Saturday, April 1st, 2023 @ 10:02 am
By: The Correspondent
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