What began as a pleasant seminar at Lakewood Church devolved into an awkward situation today, as Senior Pastor Joel Osteen was stumped by one attendee who asked him to name three books from the Bible.
Published: Tuesday, February 20th, 2024 @ 1:57 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After Ohio's vote to enshrine the right to murder babies even after the moment of birth, The Ohio State University has announced that long-time mascot "Brutus" will be replaced with the demon Moloch.
Published: Friday, January 5th, 2024 @ 9:04 am
By: Babylon Bee
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As the situation leading up to a vote to determine whether he would remain as Speaker of the House began to look more grim, Kevin McCarthy sought to take matters into his own hands and began frantically running through the corridors of the U.S. Capitol building
Published: Friday, December 1st, 2023 @ 11:34 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Chaos erupted downtown last night as mobs of looters descended upon a local Foot Locker location, carrying off armloads of merchandise through the smashed storefront while completely ignoring the Foot Locker referee blowing his whistle and waving his arms.
Published: Friday, November 24th, 2023 @ 11:12 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A local man was left scrambling to pick up his children from school yesterday after failing to remember his responsibilities and spending his time thinking about the Roman Empire instead.
Published: Wednesday, November 22nd, 2023 @ 3:42 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local consumers were caught in a familiar but confusing position this week after television advertisements from a popular beer manufacturer urged viewers to "drink responsibly" while simultaneously prompting them to purchase as much beer as possible.
Published: Sunday, November 19th, 2023 @ 3:56 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A Catholic nun in France went viral on social media on Tuesday after she was captured on video tackling a far-Left climate protester who was allegedly trying to disrupt the construction of a chapel.
Published: Wednesday, November 1st, 2023 @ 7:41 am
By: Daily Wire
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All of the dogs living in Heaven fled in horror today upon the arrival of notorious neutering advocate Bob Barker.
Published: Sunday, October 29th, 2023 @ 1:17 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Mrs. Lydia Icelean Boyd Wynne, age 90, a resident of Cherry Run Road, Washington, passed away Monday, September 25, 2023, at ECU Health Beaufort Hospital in Washington.
Published: Wednesday, September 27th, 2023 @ 9:28 am
By: Announcements
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College students will have an exciting opportunity this fall, as several educational institutions have announced they will offer credit in gender studies courses to any students who are able to sit through the entirety of the new Barbie movie.
Published: Friday, September 22nd, 2023 @ 12:49 am
By: Babylon Bee
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In a sudden flurry of moves declared by members of the administration to be a "total coincidence" in the wake of cocaine being discovered in the White House, President Joe Biden has promised to fix the immigration issues at the southern border
Published: Monday, September 11th, 2023 @ 7:26 am
By: Babylon Bee
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As news dropped that former President Donald Trump was facing a third federal indictment, Democrats were quick to explain that no American citizen is above the law they only selectively enforce.
Published: Sunday, August 6th, 2023 @ 6:36 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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ECU medical research team discovers paradigm-shattering muscle phenotype
Published: Tuesday, August 1st, 2023 @ 7:40 am
By: ECU News Services
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Following Lululemon's surprising decision to not intervene when merchandise is being stolen, streets have been overrun with groups of thugs wearing the latest Lululemon attire.
Published: Thursday, July 20th, 2023 @ 5:44 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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ESPN honored former University of Pennsylvania transgender swimmer Lia Thomas over the weekend in a “Celebrating Women’s History Month” segment that aired on the network.
Published: Wednesday, April 12th, 2023 @ 4:11 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Mr. Ralph Thomas “Tommy” Tetterton, age 85, a resident of Rocky Mount, NC died Monday April 10, 2023, at Nash General Hospital.
Published: Wednesday, April 12th, 2023 @ 8:11 am
By: Announcements
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Sometimes our first career path is not our own. Renikia Hodges was persuaded to pursue dental assisting but later found a better fit with mechanical engineering technology.
Published: Saturday, March 11th, 2023 @ 4:10 pm
By: Attila Nemecz
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You have this gnawing feeling you forgot something. Your wife seems mad at you. Oh no! Is it Valentine's Day?
Published: Sunday, February 19th, 2023 @ 9:10 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After an exciting, hard-fought, back-and-forth gridiron battle between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Kansas City Chiefs, the NFL proudly announced that the referees had been named MVP of the Super Bowl LVII.
Published: Saturday, February 18th, 2023 @ 12:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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If you're a Dad who's always running around after your kids, doing house projects, and carrying in groceries, you may be burning more calories than you think! To avoid the shame of failing to maintain a perfect "Dad bod," use these tried-and-true tricks!
Published: Wednesday, February 15th, 2023 @ 12:11 am
By: Babylon Bee
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This week, a new study from Johns-Hopkins University has concluded masks are over 75% effective at helping small children stay protected from oxygen.
Published: Thursday, December 8th, 2022 @ 6:56 am
By: Babylon Bee
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National publication The Hill lists North Carolina's U.S. Senate race among the seven contests nationwide where partisan control is most likely to "flip."
Published: Sunday, October 2nd, 2022 @ 10:42 am
By: Carolina Journal
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The Grunwald family was enjoying a nice day together this morning as Mr. Grunwald got ready for work and Mrs. Grunwald packed the kids' lunches. But this paradisical scene was not to last.
Published: Tuesday, September 27th, 2022 @ 6:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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With skyrocketing costs and grid failures across California, the Californian government is recommending everyone purchase a giant human-sized hamster wheel to generate electricity to charge their electric cars.
Published: Tuesday, September 20th, 2022 @ 3:37 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Our Next Meeting Is Thursday September 15 At 6:00 Pm At King Chicken Restaurant.
Published: Friday, September 16th, 2022 @ 4:09 am
By: Hood Richardson
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U.S. Auto Club (USAC) national champion and former NASCAR driver Bobby East was tragically stabbed to death in California on Wednesday.
Published: Thursday, July 28th, 2022 @ 3:30 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The North Carolina House passed H.B. 768, the 2022 ABC Omnibus, by a vote of 100-9 Wednesday afternoon.
Published: Sunday, July 10th, 2022 @ 8:57 am
By: Carolina Journal
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The director of Texas’ Department of Public Safety revealed this week that the police officer husband of a slain Robb Elementary School teacher was detained and disarmed when he tried to enter the school to save his wife.
Published: Sunday, July 3rd, 2022 @ 6:22 pm
By: Daily Wire
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An 18-year-old shooter who killed more than a dozen children at an elementary school on Tuesday reportedly made threats about shooting up schools and raping girls on social media in the weeks preceding the massacre.
Published: Thursday, June 2nd, 2022 @ 1:51 am
By: Daily Wire
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"She sprinted out of the school with them."
Published: Tuesday, May 31st, 2022 @ 11:45 am
By: Daily Wire
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I have a growing collection of images, the vast majority of which are in North Carolina, that I am now offering for sale in a limited edition format.
Published: Wednesday, January 5th, 2022 @ 11:46 am
By: Stan Deatherage
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I have a growing collection of images, the vast majority of which are in North Carolina, that I am now offering for sale in a limited edition format.
Published: Tuesday, January 4th, 2022 @ 6:40 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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Congress has begun its year-end sprint, and the debate over rising taxes is as hot as ever.
Published: Tuesday, December 14th, 2021 @ 11:12 am
By: Luka Laden
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