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Beef prices have set records due to low supplies and strong demand, raising costs for consumers.
Published: Thursday, November 27th, 2025 @ 2:29 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The Babylon Bee would like to kindly remind the nation that photoshopping other words or images onto Democrats' little signs is super offensive.
Published: Tuesday, September 2nd, 2025 @ 5:26 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Mrs. Sharon Elizabeth Cox Singleton, affectionately known to all as “JoJo,” of the Big Swamp community north of Washington passed away with her family by her side at her home on Wednesday, August 13, 2025.
Published: Friday, August 15th, 2025 @ 7:06 am
By: Announcements
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Is Bidenomics getting you down? With so many people struggling in the current economic environment, it's helpful to know what you can afford.
Published: Tuesday, August 6th, 2024 @ 3:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Merritt Palmer Bailey Jr. passed away March 16, 2024, in Chocowinity North Carolina.
Published: Monday, April 15th, 2024 @ 7:00 am
By: Announcements
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The Christmas candy was barely off the shelves when the Valentine’s candy appeared. Red and pink hearts with caramel and nut-filled chocolate goodness caught our eye. We are reminded of how we love love. Young love, especially.
Published: Friday, March 29th, 2024 @ 11:27 pm
By: Lib Campbell
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Authorities announced they had no choice but to put down Stephen Colbert after the late-night host tragically went mad from rabies last week.
Published: Tuesday, February 20th, 2024 @ 2:36 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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“We're getting killed for the sake of going green,” fisherman declares outside the Supreme Court
Published: Thursday, February 15th, 2024 @ 10:20 am
By: Daily Wire
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Robert Hathaway Rhodes (Bobby), aged 89, a life-long resident of Washington, N.C., passed peacefully surrounded by family on Wednesday, February 7, 2024.
Published: Monday, February 12th, 2024 @ 9:53 am
By: Announcements
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Upon witnessing the unbridled joy that comes with being treated for Hepatitis B, local man Mark Stanton has set his hopes on one day achieving that same level of happiness.
Published: Monday, February 12th, 2024 @ 7:55 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The NFL Playoffs have arrived and command center stage now through the Super Bowl.
Published: Friday, January 12th, 2024 @ 1:14 am
By: The Correspondent
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In a horrific yet tiny accident, Houston Astros second baseman José Altuve was accidentally stepped on as the Texas Rangers stormed the mound to celebrate making it to the World Series.
Published: Thursday, December 14th, 2023 @ 10:51 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Former President Donald Trump challenged his political opponents to an eclipse stare-off over the weekend to prove who among them has the most superior retinal strength.
Published: Saturday, December 9th, 2023 @ 12:08 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Sushi and Japanese steakhouse Benihana offered pop superstar Britney Spears an attractive offer to come work as one of their famed Hibachi chefs after the singer posted a video online this week of her dancing and gyrating with two large steak knives in her hands.
Published: Sunday, November 26th, 2023 @ 9:44 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Even at the Last Supper, Jesus' disciples were still not keen to know who was the traitor among them - yet looking back, the signs were all there. Here are nine obvious clues that should have alerted the disciples to who would betray the Lord:
Published: Sunday, October 29th, 2023 @ 3:56 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After posting a job listing to fill their vacant personal chef position, former President Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle, were disappointed to learn it had received zero applications.
Published: Wednesday, September 27th, 2023 @ 5:47 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Members of the Upper House shuffled excitedly down the hall on their way to lunch Thursday after hearing Congressional chefs were prepping something special in addition to their usual meal of strained peas and blended cube steak.
Published: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 @ 6:34 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The alienation of affection lawsuit filed against N.C. House Speaker Tim Moore ended officially Wednesday with a voluntary dismissal.
Published: Saturday, September 23rd, 2023 @ 12:35 am
By: Carolina Journal
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Come for Morning Wire’s Afternoon Update’s straight news, but stay for the Rapid Reactions
Published: Tuesday, August 15th, 2023 @ 6:13 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The Department of Justice announced they have found zero evidence of bribery in a photograph of Hunter Biden carrying a bag of cash next to President Biden holding a sign that reads, "Will Trade Political Favors 4 Cash."
Published: Saturday, August 12th, 2023 @ 9:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Scott Lassiter, an assistant principal at Connections Academy Middle School and member of the Wake County Soil and Water Conservation District Board of Supervisors, filed a lawsuit against N.C. House Speaker Tim Moore, R-Cleveland, accusing Moore of helping to break up Lassiter’s marriage.
Published: Friday, August 11th, 2023 @ 12:33 pm
By: Carolina Journal
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Thanks for paying your taxes this week, comrades, your hard-earned money is going toward more than $1 billion worth of “long COVID” research that has been a complete waste of time, according to a recent report.
Published: Thursday, July 27th, 2023 @ 1:18 am
By: Daily Wire
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A local woman was once again left with several truckloads of leftover food after severely overestimating the amount needed to feed her dinner party of 7 people by roughly 3,000 servings.
Published: Wednesday, July 5th, 2023 @ 11:00 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Mr. John McCoy “Coy” Fulcher, age 80, a resident of Lakeland Drive, Washington, passed away Saturday, June 17, 2023, at his home.
Published: Wednesday, June 21st, 2023 @ 8:21 am
By: Announcements
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Good news! Achieving peak physical fitness doesn't have to be an unsolvable enigma. There are surefire ways to guarantee you a ripped, wrecked, yoked, strapped, shredded physique in no time.
Published: Thursday, June 8th, 2023 @ 2:51 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After collecting twelve baskets of leftover food from Jesus' miraculous feeding of the five-thousand, the disciples asked the kid who brought fish and loaves if perhaps his mom could pack wings and nachos next time.
Published: Tuesday, June 6th, 2023 @ 6:33 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Alright, SIMPS! These days, it's getting harder and harder to find any real men. Not guys who are "in touch with their feelings" or "enjoy a good pair of barefoot wingtip shoes" — we're talking real-deal, manly men.
Published: Friday, June 2nd, 2023 @ 3:55 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Have you ever wondered what men are actually doing when they "go out with the boys?" This activity has been shrouded in mystery from time immemorial, but today for the first time we will reveal the secret to you.
Published: Friday, May 26th, 2023 @ 9:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Due to quality control issues, Saint Peter's questionnaire at the Pearly Gates has gotten stricter. Still think you can get into heaven with all your terrible opinions? Check out this list and find out!
Published: Tuesday, April 11th, 2023 @ 10:59 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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FDA officials specializing in the field of genuine Mexican food have released a comprehensive, peer-reviewed report confirming no link between eating Taco Bell and immediately suffering from explosive diarrhea, and that Taco Bell was "safe and effective."
Published: Monday, February 13th, 2023 @ 6:55 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After being sealed in for what felt like ages, Noah's wife Naamah has started to wonder whatever happened to all the dinosaurs they let on the ark.
Published: Tuesday, February 7th, 2023 @ 2:26 am
By: Babylon Bee
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World Economic Forum President Børge Brende personally invited John the Baptist to speak at their annual meeting Tuesday after uncovering his propensity for eating disgusting bugs and owning nothing while being happy.
Published: Saturday, January 21st, 2023 @ 12:23 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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