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Results found for "won't"


but "climate change" cult won't care
Published: Monday, September 8th, 2025 @ 9:31 am By: John Steed
"My job is to advance America’s national interests, not waste taxpayer money or coddle anti-Americanism."
Published: Friday, February 14th, 2025 @ 12:13 am By: Daily Wire
"My job is to advance America’s national interests, not waste taxpayer money or coddle anti-Americanism."
 
WASHINGTON, DC — In a major win for body positivity, the Center for Disease Control released a new scale this week to help doctors inform slightly larger patients they're doing great and definitely won't die young from any sort of coronary episode.
Published: Sunday, March 3rd, 2024 @ 8:43 pm By: Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, DC — In a major win for body positivity, the Center for Disease Control released a new scale this week to help doctors inform slightly larger patients they're doing great and definitely won't die young from any sort of coronary episode.
 
Biden could fix this simply by revoking all of those executive orders but won't
Published: Sunday, February 11th, 2024 @ 7:49 am By: John Steed
Biden could fix this simply by revoking all of those executive orders but won't
 
The Human Rights Campaign is forever on the hunt for companies that aren't gay enough. If they ever show up at your place of business and discover you're inadequately queer, watch out! They'll break your kneecaps!
Published: Friday, February 9th, 2024 @ 5:06 am By: Babylon Bee
The Human Rights Campaign is forever on the hunt for companies that aren't gay enough. If they ever show up at your place of business and discover you're inadequately queer, watch out! They'll break your kneecaps!
 
is burglary one of those "jobs Americans won't do"?
Published: Saturday, December 9th, 2023 @ 6:24 pm By: John Steed
is burglary one of those "jobs Americans won't do"?
 
After authorizing $100 million dollars for humanitarian aid in Gaza, President Biden assured Israel and other allies that he has received a pinky promise from Hamas that they won't use the money for terrorism.
After authorizing $100 million dollars for humanitarian aid in Gaza, President Biden assured Israel and other allies that he has received a pinky promise from Hamas that they won't use the money for terrorism.
 
With all of Hollywood striking for better working conditions, some of us are at a loss for what to do with our time now that Netflix, Hulu, and HBO Max won't be releasing a new series every 15 seconds.
With all of Hollywood striking for better working conditions, some of us are at a loss for what to do with our time now that Netflix, Hulu, and HBO Max won't be releasing a new series every 15 seconds.
 
White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who both is black and gay, declared she will no longer be answering questions from reporters during the press briefing.
Published: Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023 @ 3:13 am By: Babylon Bee
White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who both is black and gay, declared she will no longer be answering questions from reporters during the press briefing.
 
The usual rigamarole of "demanding answers" simply won't cut it anymore.
Published: Monday, July 17th, 2023 @ 5:14 pm By: Daily Wire
The usual rigamarole of "demanding answers" simply won't cut it anymore.
 
Unbelievable! You have to check out this list of 1 MAJOR NEWS SITE that went out of business this week! You have to read it to believe it!
Published: Thursday, May 18th, 2023 @ 6:12 pm By: Babylon Bee
Unbelievable! You have to check out this list of 1 MAJOR NEWS SITE that went out of business this week! You have to read it to believe it!
 
The video sharing app says it won't tolerate "hateful ideologies."
Published: Sunday, April 9th, 2023 @ 7:48 pm By: Daily Wire
The video sharing app says it won't tolerate "hateful ideologies."
 
In what the media and political experts are hailing as an ingenious move, President Joe Biden has announced a plan to offer "hush money" to 330 million Americans so they won't tell anyone how bad he's doing as President.
Published: Saturday, April 1st, 2023 @ 9:45 am By: Babylon Bee
In what the media and political experts are hailing as an ingenious move, President Joe Biden has announced a plan to offer "hush money" to 330 million Americans so they won't tell anyone how bad he's doing as President.
 
In a stunning reversal, Congresswoman Lauren Boebert of Colorado has reportedly decided not to spend eternity in Heaven after finding out there won't be firearms there. The lawmaker made her choice following a disappointing conversation with her pastor.
In a stunning reversal, Congresswoman Lauren Boebert of Colorado has reportedly decided not to spend eternity in Heaven after finding out there won't be firearms there. The lawmaker made her choice following a disappointing conversation with her pastor.
 
Local progressive and Anitfa member Declan Johnson has started to question his commitment to the communist revolution over concerns about a potential lack of gluten-free bread lines.
Local progressive and Anitfa member Declan Johnson has started to question his commitment to the communist revolution over concerns about a potential lack of gluten-free bread lines.
 
Hey folks, Bernie Sanders here! I am once again asking for your support in eradicating systemic poverty from the face of the earth. America can do it, but we won't because America is immoral and Elon Musk has all the money.
Published: Sunday, January 29th, 2023 @ 9:21 am By: Babylon Bee
Hey folks, Bernie Sanders here! I am once again asking for your support in eradicating systemic poverty from the face of the earth. America can do it, but we won't because America is immoral and Elon Musk has all the money.
 
Won't pass FCC guidelines but taught in schools
Won't pass FCC guidelines but taught in schools
 
The fake regime in D.C., the deep state, the globalists, and whatever else you choose to call this evil cabal has been waging war on ... I won't sugar coat it.  We're up against some scum bags who will try to rig the election.  If we don't work VERY HARD, they WILL succeed.  So let's work VERY HARD!
Published: Friday, October 7th, 2022 @ 9:58 am By: Raynor James
The fake regime in D.C., the deep state, the globalists, and whatever else you choose to call this evil cabal has been waging war on ... I won't sugar coat it.  We're up against some scum bags who will try to rig the election.  If we don't work VERY HARD, they WILL succeed.  So let's work VERY HARD!
 
Singer-songwriter Pink took to Twitter following the landmark Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade, telling all pro-life fans to stop listening to her music. Millions have since joined the pro-life cause to avoid what they call "Pink's terrible music."
Published: Tuesday, July 5th, 2022 @ 10:19 pm By: Babylon Bee
Singer-songwriter Pink took to Twitter following the landmark Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade, telling all pro-life fans to stop listening to her music. Millions have since joined the pro-life cause to avoid what they call "Pink's terrible music."
 
Reports are flooding in that the same exact people who said that they are not censoring anybody are absolutely furious that they won't be able to censor anyone.
Published: Monday, May 9th, 2022 @ 7:36 am By: Babylon Bee
Reports are flooding in that the same exact people who said that they are not censoring anybody are absolutely furious that they won't be able to censor anyone.
 
LOS ANGELES, CA—There aren't a ton of great teachers left in California, but there are definitely a few. Mr. Hammond of Carter Rock Elementary School in the suburbs of Los Angeles hated seeing his kids masked up every day, so he came up with a genius plan:
Published: Wednesday, May 4th, 2022 @ 3:17 pm By: Babylon Bee
LOS ANGELES, CA—There aren't a ton of great teachers left in California, but there are definitely a few. Mr. Hammond of Carter Rock Elementary School in the suburbs of Los Angeles hated seeing his kids masked up every day, so he came up with a genius plan:
 
If you haven't seen Dinesh D'Souza's latest documentary - "HILLARY'S AMERICA: The Secret History of the Democratic Party" - you won't want to miss it!! D'Souza hits a home-run!!
Published: Sunday, March 6th, 2022 @ 9:22 pm By: Diane Rufino
If you haven't seen Dinesh D'Souza's latest documentary - "HILLARY'S AMERICA: The Secret History of the Democratic Party" - you won't want to miss it!! D'Souza hits a home-run!!
 
Ukrainians won't defend their own country
Ukrainians won't defend their own country
 
Cities and Counties Won't Need to Increase Property Taxes
Cities and Counties Won't Need to Increase Property Taxes
 
Won't add to national treatment protocal
Imposter President Joseph R. Biden, a Fool still with the fulsome allegiance of the Democratic Socialist Propagandist Media, just will not be honest with the American People, or himself for that matter.
Imposter President Joseph R. Biden, a Fool still with the fulsome allegiance of the Democratic Socialist Propagandist Media, just will not be honest with the American People, or himself for that matter.
 
If you’re covering reports that Representative G.K. Butterfield won't seek re-election in 2022, please consider the following statement:
If you’re covering reports that Representative G.K. Butterfield won't seek re-election in 2022, please consider the following statement:
 
First he will, then he won't, then he will, then...
Published: Tuesday, June 29th, 2021 @ 5:24 pm By: LifeZette
First he will, then he won't, then he will, then...
 
The Panthers could use a left tackle like Trent Williams. The Panthers could have used a defensive tackle like Leonard Williams. But those aren't the kind of bills they're looking to pay next week.
Published: Friday, March 12th, 2021 @ 1:14 pm By: Daniel Bunting
The Panthers could use a left tackle like Trent Williams. The Panthers could have used a defensive tackle like Leonard Williams. But those aren't the kind of bills they're looking to pay next week.
 
Although the president deserves the prize, he won't receive it.
Although the president deserves the prize, he won't receive it.
 
"...we trust this lawsuit serves as a reminder to them that they won't get away with what they are doing.
Published: Monday, June 1st, 2020 @ 11:32 am By: LifeZette
"...we trust this lawsuit serves as a reminder to them that they won't get away with what they are doing.
 
Cal Cunningham has spent the entire COVID-19 pandemic attempting to stay relevant and score cheap political points by calling for petty political investigations of President Trump that will do nothing to protect the physical and economic health of North Carolinians.
Cal Cunningham has spent the entire COVID-19 pandemic attempting to stay relevant and score cheap political points by calling for petty political investigations of President Trump that will do nothing to protect the physical and economic health of North Carolinians.
 
Get out your popcorn. This won't stop for months. May go on until November.
Published: Friday, March 6th, 2020 @ 8:24 am By: LifeZette
Get out your popcorn. This won't stop for months. May go on until November.
 

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