McDonald's Now Offering 36-Month, 0% Interest Financing On All Value Meals | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.     As part of a limited-time offer to cash-strapped customers, fast-food giant McDonald's is now offering 36-month, 0% interest financing on all value menu items.

    "We know how hard it can be to feed a family in a McDonald's drive-thru these days on a middle-class budget," said CEO Chris Kempczinski. "We hope our simple financing plan provides much-needed relief to people trying to afford our $200 value meals that we sell to pay the six-figure salaries of our employees in a time of runaway inflation."

    Qualifying customers will be given the option to put money down or defer payments for up to six months after filling out a 12-page application. The company also confirmed that it will endeavor to make meals more affordable by cutting portion sizes. "When you think about it, who needs a whole burger?" said Kempczinski. "Our new budget half-burgers are only $100 for the budget-conscious customer!"

    The company also said that they will soon be offering reverse mortgage plans.

    At publishing time, Chick-fil-A had responded by promising to keep prices the same as they've been for 15 years, which customers agreed was still too expensive.