FBI Uncovers Horrifying Extremist Reading Material In Mike Johnson's Home | Eastern North Carolina Now

The Federal Bureau of Investigation announced today that it had discovered terrifying extremist reading material in a raid of Speaker of the House Mike Johnson's Louisiana home.

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    BENTON, LA     The Federal Bureau of Investigation announced today that it had discovered terrifying extremist reading material in a raid of Speaker of the House Mike Johnson's Louisiana home.

    "We were very troubled by what we found during our totally legal raid," said FBI Special Agent Curt Schampers. "When our tactical team breached the door of the home, one of our lead agents called our attention to a piece of reading material on the living room coffee table. The reading material appeared to be a thick, leather-bound book that had pages with gold-gilded edges. Clearly some type of radical, religious text. This type of book is normally only found in the homes of truly dangerous individuals."

    Eyewitnesses reported seeing FBI agents removing the book from the home in a sealed plastic bag for further investigation. "You could see the fear in their eyes," said Johnson's neighbor Darius Anderson. "I heard them talking to each other and saying they knew people who read that book were radical, unhinged fanatics who believe crazy things and want to take over the world. To think Mike Johnson is a part of something like that...it's pretty scary."

    When asked to comment on what impact this discovery may have on Johnson's ability to serve effectively as Speaker of the House, Special Agent Schampers had only this to say: "This country would look a lot different if the kind of people who read that book were in charge of things."

    At publishing time, the FBI refused to comment on horrifying reports that framed passages of religious texts were found hanging on the walls of the home.
Go Back

Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )

Palestine Protester Tries To Argue With Skinhead But They Just Agree On Everything Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Kid Too Sick To Go To School Just Well Enough To Stay Home And Play Video Games All Day


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

It is time we elected new board members who will speak up for the people
Short of some unforeseen catastrophe Trump will win easily.
Former President Donald Trump once again addressed the proposed transition policies in the Heritage Foundation’s “Project 2025,” saying in a social media post on Wednesday night that Democrats are trying to deceptively “hook” him with those proposals.
Obama led defenstration of Biden succeeds; party bosses control nomination
wokeness including DEI an CRT are pervasive under Biden DOD
After yet another deadly attack perpetrated by a deranged leftist, this time coming an inch away from killing President Trump, the FBI was left briefly wondering if maybe they had been investigating the wrong people.
Biotech entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy told The Daily Wire on Monday that he would “strongly consider” replacing J.D. Vance as U.S. senator from Ohio now that former President Donald Trump has picked Vance to be his running mate for the 2024 election.
For the second year in a row, Raleigh was ranked as the overall best place for veterans to live in the United States, according to a WalletHub report. Charlotte, Durham, Greensboro, and Winston-Salem came in 26th, 35th, 48th, and 51st overall, respectively.


DNC denied primary debates and rigged primaries for Biden
Less than 24 hours after a failed assassination attempt against former President Donald Trump — which left one bystander dead and three others, including Trump, injured — The Atlantic’s David Frum blamed the violence on the former president and his supporters.
The Biden campaign fired back at actor George Clooney on Wednesday after Clooney called for President Joe Biden to drop out of the presidential race, suggesting that the 81-year-old president has better stamina than Clooney.
In a controversial new episode of Paw Patrol that aired this week on Nick Jr., Chase gets neutered so he can become the world's first transgender pup.
Ray Epps, the man accused by many of being involved with federal law enforcement during the January 6, 2021, riot at the U.S. Capitol, said over the weekend that Fox News host Tucker Carlson was “obsessed” with him and trying to ruin his life.
Cotton has been mentioned as a possible running mate for former President Donald Trump.
In order to let President Biden feel like he is still working, the White House has installed a "Touch-And-Learn" activity desk for Biden to play at while First Lady Jill Biden runs the country.


Former President Donald Trump said during a radio hit on Friday that he would be willing to take a cognitive test alongside President Joe Biden to let voters see the mental state of each presidential candidate.
wife of Washington Post's Max Boot indicted under Foreign Agents Registration Act
NBC News’ Chuck Todd said Tuesday that Biden’s declining cognitive health has been an “open secret” for years, revealing that a senior cabinet member from the Biden administration suggested in 2022 that the president cannot run for reelection.
Democrats pushing offshore wind are a theat to NC beaches as well


Back to Top