Dread it. Run from it. 2024 has arrived all the same. But fear not as the team at The Babylon Bee has been hard at work for you coming up with the most probable, and completely accurate 2024 predictions to help you make it through the New Year.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 12:22 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Calls are growing in Sacramento for a criminal investigation to be launched into California Democrat Governor Gavin Newsom after an explosive story published this week said that Newsom created an unusual special carveout in a piece of legislation that benefited one of his top donors.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 9:06 pm
By: Daily Wire
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In an announcement sure to cause celebration across the nation, food chain Chick-fil-A has unveiled plans to add a tire rotation, oil change, car wash, and tax preparation services to their astoundingly efficient drive-thru lanes.
Published: Tuesday, January 23rd, 2024 @ 11:41 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Following a closed-door meeting to discuss the issue and take an official vote, residents of the state of Texas announced their plan to continue pretending Whataburger is good.
Published: Sunday, December 10th, 2023 @ 11:09 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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SAN DIEGO, CA — Following the passing of legislation to raise the minimum wage for fast food workers in California, San Diego-based restaurant chain Jack-In-The-Box has announced it will now be rolling out a special offer of two tacos for just $20.
Published: Friday, December 1st, 2023 @ 1:42 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The world's dumbest man, Jeremy Dander, pulled up to a McDonald's outside of lunch hours, noticed only two cars in the drive-thru, and made the mistake of assuming the experience wouldn't take long.
Published: Sunday, November 19th, 2023 @ 11:58 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The United States Secret Service concluded its investigation into the theft of hamburgers owned by notable clowned man Ronald McDonald after a full-scale search turned up no sign of the missing burger sack or a viable suspect.
Published: Tuesday, September 19th, 2023 @ 8:56 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With the burger chain Five Guys growing to include more than 1,700 locations, a sixth guy is currently kicking himself for choosing to leave the business in its early stages.
Published: Saturday, July 29th, 2023 @ 11:23 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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If you’re drinking water directly from the tap, there’s a chance it contains potentially harmful “forever chemicals,” according to a study released Wednesday by the United States Geological Survey (USGS).
Published: Thursday, July 20th, 2023 @ 9:10 am
By: Daily Wire
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With news breaking of the Department of Justice handing down an indictment of former President Donald Trump, new details regarding the classified documents found in Trump's possession have come to light.
Published: Wednesday, July 19th, 2023 @ 10:00 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Wendy’s announced on Thursday that the company will test a robotic system to deliver orders underground from its kitchens to distinct parking spots outside of its restaurants, a move which comes as the food services sector turns toward automation in response to labor shortages.
Published: Monday, June 5th, 2023 @ 7:19 am
By: Daily Wire
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OpenAI CEO Sam Altman testified before members of the Senate on Tuesday about the risks from artificial intelligence advancements, encouraging lawmakers to implement regulations.
Published: Tuesday, May 30th, 2023 @ 6:39 pm
By: Daily Wire
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World’s Largest Food Company Hikes Prices Nearly 10% In Just Three Months Due To Inflation PressuresNestlé, the largest food and drink company in the world, raised prices by a collective 9.8% in the first three months of the year as inflationary pressures increased input costs for the business.
Published: Monday, May 15th, 2023 @ 12:38 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Public schools in the U.S. are continuing to decline as performance and test scores reach record lows. Many are blaming this phenomenon on a lack of teachers in the classrooms since most of them have been beaten unconscious by students.
Published: Monday, March 6th, 2023 @ 8:08 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Former Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro was hospitalized in Florida one day after supporters of his failed re-election campaign rioted and stormed multiple federal buildings in his home country.
Published: Saturday, January 14th, 2023 @ 3:48 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Big brother is watching
Published: Wednesday, January 11th, 2023 @ 8:05 am
By: Countrygirl1411
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Despite continued growth and financial success, fast food chain Chick-Fil-A has received a word of warning from an unexpected source
Published: Sunday, December 11th, 2022 @ 5:40 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A video of a young Meta employee enjoying company perks and not appearing to do much work has gone viral and drawn online mockery just as company founder Mark Zuckerberg faces pressure from investors to cut headcount.
Published: Thursday, December 1st, 2022 @ 10:53 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Company’s After School Access Project helps bridge the “Homework Gap"
Published: Monday, October 31st, 2022 @ 9:12 am
By: Eastern NC NOW Staff
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Why does President Joe Biden constantly wander around aimlessly after his speeches?
Published: Sunday, September 25th, 2022 @ 7:01 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The world's leading Christian fast food chain suffered a tragedy today as the manager of a local Chick-Fil-A was apparently struck dead shortly after playing secular music in the restaurant.
Published: Sunday, September 18th, 2022 @ 1:07 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local father of three Kirk Watson once again exploited his children's insatiable desire for fast food to get himself some McDonald's, say sources.
Published: Tuesday, August 30th, 2022 @ 2:49 am
By: Babylon Bee
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According to sources local man Derrick Chatum has been putting on weight at an alarming rate.
Published: Wednesday, August 24th, 2022 @ 12:32 am
By: Babylon Bee
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BOSTON, MA—According to sources, a local man with over 337 hours logged in Elden Ring has leveled serious criticism against organized religion, calling it the "opiate of the masses."
Published: Tuesday, June 14th, 2022 @ 7:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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sick corporate policy partners with LGBTQ group that targers children
Published: Tuesday, May 31st, 2022 @ 8:41 am
By: John Steed
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ECU partners with local high schools on culinary medicine program
Published: Friday, March 4th, 2022 @ 11:11 am
By: ECU News Services
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Remarks by President Biden on the Senate Passage of the Bipartisan Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act
Published: Wednesday, November 3rd, 2021 @ 9:46 am
By: Stan Deatherage
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Today, President Joe Biden announced his intent to nominate the following five individuals to serve in key roles
Published: Monday, June 21st, 2021 @ 8:53 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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Two new studies confirm that a higher minimum wage would not be an unalloyed gain for low-wage workers.
Published: Saturday, January 30th, 2021 @ 12:09 am
By: John Locke Foundation
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The undercounted cost of the COVID pandemic is in the lives lost to despair, addiction, suicide, and other illnesses.
Published: Saturday, November 14th, 2020 @ 5:33 pm
By: Carolina Journal
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