Local man Don Richardson revealed himself to be utterly dead inside after failing to shed a single tear while the congregation of First Baptist Church sang "O Holy Night".
Published: Friday, March 22nd, 2024 @ 5:18 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A local man observed a peculiar late-night ritual this week, as his wife successfully put all of the children to bed, tidied up the kitchen early, and went upstairs to relax after a stressful day by settling into a hot bubble bath
Published: Saturday, March 16th, 2024 @ 11:46 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A new horror movie featuring the “Steamboat Willie” version of Mickey Mouse is currently in the works, per a Variety report.
Published: Thursday, February 15th, 2024 @ 11:29 am
By: Daily Wire
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A teenage member of Generation Z, whose name is sealed by court records, was persuaded to attend several therapy sessions after her parents grew concerned with her lack of anxiety or depression.
Published: Wednesday, January 24th, 2024 @ 12:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Upon hearing footsteps approach his restroom stall, a local man identified as Devon Baldman expertly cleared his throat, thereby giving the universal signal that the stall was occupied. As a result, a near disaster was averted.
Published: Wednesday, January 10th, 2024 @ 8:11 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Polar Express has officially won the title of "Best Christmas Movie" amongst deranged, psychotic serial killers.
Published: Saturday, December 2nd, 2023 @ 9:28 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Oregon’s governor is creating a task force to fix Portland, the city widely regarded as a poster child for progressive policies.
Published: Wednesday, September 6th, 2023 @ 9:00 am
By: Daily Wire
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The FBI said that it discovered 40 skulls and other human bones during a raid on a Kentucky man’s residence in connection to the alleged trafficking of human remains linked to Harvard Medical School.
Published: Tuesday, August 1st, 2023 @ 6:51 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Terror has rocked a small Moblin treehouse community after Gary L., a beloved Moblin relaxing by the campfire was slain by a wandering psychopath.
Published: Monday, June 12th, 2023 @ 11:30 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Law enforcement officials in Colorado have arrested a transgender individual with a communist manifesto for allegedly planning mass shootings at schools and churches in the area.
Published: Tuesday, May 2nd, 2023 @ 2:30 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Local man Alan Rogers was confirmed to be completely dead inside after he failed to shed a single tear upon hearing 'Amazing Grace' played on bagpipes.
Published: Wednesday, February 22nd, 2023 @ 11:55 am
By: Babylon Bee
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On Tuesday, an ACLU North Carolina lobbyist, Kristie Puckett Williams, made graphic, sexually harassing comments to conservative radio host Pete Kaliner during a Twitter discussion regarding N.C. Senate Bill 49, the Parents’ Bill of Rights.
Published: Monday, February 20th, 2023 @ 2:09 pm
By: Carolina Journal
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A notorious French serial killer known as “The Serpent” or the “Bikini Killer” has been released from prison in Nepal due to his age.
Published: Tuesday, January 3rd, 2023 @ 11:57 am
By: Daily Wire
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Local husband and useless idiot Virgil Marlo met with disaster Monday after placing throw pillows on the bed in the wrong order. The clueless husband had attempted to tidy up after knocking the pillows on the floor.
Published: Wednesday, December 21st, 2022 @ 11:47 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Comedian Bill Maher unloaded on the “scolds” he blamed for taking all the fun out of Halloween, arguing that people needed a holiday where they were allowed — and even expected — to be a little irreverent and throw the “rules” out the window.
Published: Saturday, December 10th, 2022 @ 6:17 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The new Netflix docuseries “Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story” is a huge success for the streaming platform, but some fans were upset with how it was tagged in their library.
Published: Saturday, October 29th, 2022 @ 9:09 am
By: Daily Wire
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In promising news for murderers everywhere, the results of a new study indicate the month of October is the perfect time to bury a dead body in your own front yard.
Published: Wednesday, October 19th, 2022 @ 6:49 am
By: Babylon Bee
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We are SO thankful that Hollywood has finally stopped their bigotry and made a few movies with LGBTQ+ representation.
Published: Sunday, October 9th, 2022 @ 1:49 am
By: Babylon Bee
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In response to the rising cases of random New Yorkers being sucker-punched by thugs, Mayor Eric Adams has instituted a new city ordinance requiring citizens who leave their home to wear protective helmets.
Published: Thursday, August 25th, 2022 @ 2:40 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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U.S.—A new study has found a connection between having thousands of unread emails and your likelihood of becoming a serial killer.
Published: Friday, June 10th, 2022 @ 9:29 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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You don’t hear about serial killers much these days, except when talking about those from decades past. New technology and techniques make it harder for serial killers to exist, but a man suspected of killing four people has been apprehended in Virginia.
Published: Monday, April 25th, 2022 @ 8:50 am
By: Daily Wire
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Homeless deaths in Los Angeles County rose in 2021, with an average of five people dying per day.
Published: Sunday, April 24th, 2022 @ 9:48 am
By: Daily Wire
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Oh no! You just got banned from your favorite social media platform for saying something pretty much everyone agrees with! You stinker.
Published: Friday, April 22nd, 2022 @ 12:45 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Did you know that your morning beverage of choice can predict your political leanings with 100% accuracy? Don't look it up—just trust us, it's a totally real thing.
Published: Monday, April 11th, 2022 @ 11:05 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In 1987, 41-year-old Vicki Heath was working at the Super 8 Motel just off I-65 in Elizabethtown, Kentucky, in order to make some extra money. She had recently gotten engaged, and was looking forward to this new chapter in her life as her two kids were reaching adulthood.
Published: Sunday, April 10th, 2022 @ 8:26 pm
By: Daily Wire
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San Francisco police believe they can connect an unsolved murder to a serial killer who operated in the mid 1970s and has never been caught.
Published: Monday, February 14th, 2022 @ 3:26 pm
By: Daily Wire
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A popular female thriller author in Spain who has been lauded for her feminism recently won a prestigious award for her latest novel. During the award ceremony, “she” turned out to be three male television scriptwriters.
Published: Friday, January 28th, 2022 @ 11:59 am
By: Daily Wire
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In the 1980s and 90s, a serial killer and rapist terrorized Paris, France. Last week, he was finally identified as a retired French police officer.
Published: Saturday, November 20th, 2021 @ 7:33 am
By: Daily Wire
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Filmmakers producing projects in North Carolina are on track to invest a record amount of money in the state in 2021, Governor Roy Cooper announced during a press conference at EUE/Screen Gems Studios in Wilmington.
Published: Saturday, November 6th, 2021 @ 10:57 am
By: Governor's Office
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Six new grant recipients to have economic impact of more than $134 million
Published: Sunday, April 4th, 2021 @ 11:24 pm
By: Governor's Office
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A former Seattle business owner has been accused of transporting over two dozen human limbs and heads from Washington state and dumping them in remote parts of Arizona.
Published: Saturday, January 2nd, 2021 @ 4:04 pm
By: Daily Wire
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This past Monday, February 25, US Senate Democrats blocked a Republican bill - The BORN-ALIVE ABORTION SURVIVORS PROTECTION ACT - that would have threatened prison time for doctors who don't attempt to save the lives of infants born alive during failed abortions.
Published: Wednesday, March 6th, 2019 @ 7:14 pm
By: Diane Rufino
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On January 22, 1973, the Supreme Court handed down one of the most controversial opinions in its history. It issued its opinion regarding the constitutionality of state laws banning and even criminalizing abortion.
Published: Saturday, February 23rd, 2019 @ 3:36 am
By: Diane Rufino
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