Babylon Bee | Eastern NC Now

Humor in the most unusual of all places - in the politics of our everyday lives.

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Where do you stand on the Transgender Issue now that the issue has gotten to the overt point of the open celebration of this lifestyle choice, dictated by certain direct and explicit actions.
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10.11% I do support the Trans Community in all its many facets because diversity is at a premium in today's society.
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Babylon Bee  

Humor in the most unusual of all places - in the politics of our everyday lives.

WNBA star Brittney Griner has been found guilty of drug trafficking charges in Russia.
WNBA star Brittney Griner has been found guilty of drug trafficking charges in Russia.
 
It seems like every telecommunications company in the world has gone WOKE! Not good!
It seems like every telecommunications company in the world has gone WOKE! Not good!
 
Local 15-year-old girl Anna Brown recently underwent gender reassignment surgery to become a trans boy named Andre Brown.
Local 15-year-old girl Anna Brown recently underwent gender reassignment surgery to become a trans boy named Andre Brown.
 
There comes a time in every child's life when they begin to assert their autonomy and freedom from the shackles of their upbringing: classic teenage rebellion!
There comes a time in every child's life when they begin to assert their autonomy and freedom from the shackles of their upbringing: classic teenage rebellion!
 
After finding herself unnecessarily upset about a thoughtful critique from her husband regarding her shoe collection and a dearth of closet space, dutiful wife Clarissa Zwygart was able to calm down after her husband wisely counseled her to calm down.
After finding herself unnecessarily upset about a thoughtful critique from her husband regarding her shoe collection and a dearth of closet space, dutiful wife Clarissa Zwygart was able to calm down after her husband wisely counseled her to calm down.
 
Singer-songwriter Demi Lovato declared herself nonbinary and adopted the use of "they/them" pronouns last year, and has made waves again this week by adopting the "she/her" pronouns that she originally had. According to sources, she made this decision when her car's tire went flat
Singer-songwriter Demi Lovato declared herself nonbinary and adopted the use of "they/them" pronouns last year, and has made waves again this week by adopting the "she/her" pronouns that she originally had. According to sources, she made this decision when her car's tire went flat
 
After living a life of poverty famously dedicated to evangelization, Saint Anthony asked God today what on earth he did to now deserve an eternity of looking around for people's keys and cell phones.
After living a life of poverty famously dedicated to evangelization, Saint Anthony asked God today what on earth he did to now deserve an eternity of looking around for people's keys and cell phones.
 
Government spending solves so many problems! It must solve problems, right? Otherwise, they wouldn't keep doing it!
Government spending solves so many problems! It must solve problems, right? Otherwise, they wouldn't keep doing it!
 
After months of singlehandedly raising America's gas prices without any help whatsoever from the Biden administration, Russian President Vladimir Putin has mercifully given Americans a short break by lowering the price at the pump.
After months of singlehandedly raising America's gas prices without any help whatsoever from the Biden administration, Russian President Vladimir Putin has mercifully given Americans a short break by lowering the price at the pump.
 
After months of deliberation over allegations of sexual harassment and assault, the NFL came down hard on Deshaun Watson today by sentencing him to three whole seasons of playing for the Cleveland Browns.
After months of deliberation over allegations of sexual harassment and assault, the NFL came down hard on Deshaun Watson today by sentencing him to three whole seasons of playing for the Cleveland Browns.
 
According to sources, local married couple Keith and Rebecca Powell can't decide what they want to eat for dinner, and have each decided to ask one another what they want for dinner over and over until they both starve.
According to sources, local married couple Keith and Rebecca Powell can't decide what they want to eat for dinner, and have each decided to ask one another what they want for dinner over and over until they both starve.
 
Joel Osteen took the Apostle Paul to task on Sunday, calling out his awful habit of negative self-talk and overly mournful diatribes.
Joel Osteen took the Apostle Paul to task on Sunday, calling out his awful habit of negative self-talk and overly mournful diatribes.
 
In a brief address to the nation after once again testing positive for COVID, President Biden warned that we are now in a pandemic of the "quadruple vaccinated."
In a brief address to the nation after once again testing positive for COVID, President Biden warned that we are now in a pandemic of the "quadruple vaccinated."
 
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has been forced to cancel her planned flight to Taiwan after China announced they have developed deadly surface-to-air vodka-seeking missiles.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has been forced to cancel her planned flight to Taiwan after China announced they have developed deadly surface-to-air vodka-seeking missiles.
 
Are you watching too much CNN? Know the warning signs:
Are you watching too much CNN? Know the warning signs:
 
In a press release earlier this week, Portland police chief Danielle Outlaw (her actual name), appearing somber and exhausted, said she just wishes there were some kind of group with the firepower and authority to fight back against Antifa.
In a press release earlier this week, Portland police chief Danielle Outlaw (her actual name), appearing somber and exhausted, said she just wishes there were some kind of group with the firepower and authority to fight back against Antifa.
 
The government that shut down beaches, parks, churches, schools, birthday parties, restaurants, retail shops, bars, cafes, skate parks, funerals, and hundreds of other locations, gatherings, and events across the country to slow the spread of COVID-19
The government that shut down beaches, parks, churches, schools, birthday parties, restaurants, retail shops, bars, cafes, skate parks, funerals, and hundreds of other locations, gatherings, and events across the country to slow the spread of COVID-19
 
U.S. Army spokesperson admitted concern today after the recent drop in recruitment numbers, despite the unveiling of the new "America Is Racist, You Should Die For It" slogan.
U.S. Army spokesperson admitted concern today after the recent drop in recruitment numbers, despite the unveiling of the new "America Is Racist, You Should Die For It" slogan.
 
Even with the COVID-19 restrictions lifted, Americans have been slow to return to church. Churches need to appeal to a broader, more diverse population if they hope to compete!
Even with the COVID-19 restrictions lifted, Americans have been slow to return to church. Churches need to appeal to a broader, more diverse population if they hope to compete!
 
America's GDP has fallen over the last two quarters, stoking fears of a possible recession due to the fact that America is now in a recession.
America's GDP has fallen over the last two quarters, stoking fears of a possible recession due to the fact that America is now in a recession.
 
PORTLAND, OR — Local parents Cindy and Bob Conners have devised a clever plan to protect their son from gender indoctrination at school.
PORTLAND, OR — Local parents Cindy and Bob Conners have devised a clever plan to protect their son from gender indoctrination at school.
 
The GDP (Gross Domestic Product) numbers were released today and it turns out we're in a recession.
The GDP (Gross Domestic Product) numbers were released today and it turns out we're in a recession.
 
Local dieter Christopher Woodleburk congratulated himself on sticking to his diet routine by enjoying his 23rd consecutive cheat day.
Local dieter Christopher Woodleburk congratulated himself on sticking to his diet routine by enjoying his 23rd consecutive cheat day.
 
Reporters on the ground say local man Jeff Sheldon is still following his friends around, persisting in telling and re-telling what it means to be an introvert.
Reporters on the ground say local man Jeff Sheldon is still following his friends around, persisting in telling and re-telling what it means to be an introvert.
 
Rockstar Studios' upcoming Grand Theft Auto 6 has already created a splash with news that it will feature the series' first female Latina protagonist.
Rockstar Studios' upcoming Grand Theft Auto 6 has already created a splash with news that it will feature the series' first female Latina protagonist.
 
Hey man, how's it going? Thank you for shopping with us today, we appreciate your business during these troubling times. Now if you don't mind just go ahead and leave your debit card inserted.
Hey man, how's it going? Thank you for shopping with us today, we appreciate your business during these troubling times. Now if you don't mind just go ahead and leave your debit card inserted.
 
The president shot back at what he called "Super Duper Ultra MAGA Turbo Titans" Monday as he claimed "you can't be pro-insurrection and pro-American" despite being the commander in chief of a nation founded by an insurrection.
The president shot back at what he called "Super Duper Ultra MAGA Turbo Titans" Monday as he claimed "you can't be pro-insurrection and pro-American" despite being the commander in chief of a nation founded by an insurrection.
 
Big Tech is cracking down! Facebook and Tik Tok have already banned the use of the word "groomer", and this week Twitter followed suit, evidently perceiving "groomer" as a slur on the LGBTQ+ community.
Big Tech is cracking down! Facebook and Tik Tok have already banned the use of the word "groomer", and this week Twitter followed suit, evidently perceiving "groomer" as a slur on the LGBTQ+ community.
 
Even the staunchest libertarians deserve love. So throw away the pot you only smoke out of principle and take a shower, you son of liberty! You're going to need to put a little effort into a girl if you ever find one.
Even the staunchest libertarians deserve love. So throw away the pot you only smoke out of principle and take a shower, you son of liberty! You're going to need to put a little effort into a girl if you ever find one.
 
With the monkeypox virus plague tearing its way through gay bathhouses and teachers' lounges across the country, one desperate man hung a "straight pride" flag on his doorposts in hopes that the plague will pass over his household.
With the monkeypox virus plague tearing its way through gay bathhouses and teachers' lounges across the country, one desperate man hung a "straight pride" flag on his doorposts in hopes that the plague will pass over his household.
 
Thousands upon thousands of fans have come together in celebration that their beloved franchise is finally being adapted into a live-action series. Unfortunately, they all forgot it's the year 2022, and they don't make them how they used to.
Thousands upon thousands of fans have come together in celebration that their beloved franchise is finally being adapted into a live-action series. Unfortunately, they all forgot it's the year 2022, and they don't make them how they used to.
 
Visitors to the world-famous San Diego Zoo continue to be disappointed by the Tasmanian devil, say zoo officials.
Visitors to the world-famous San Diego Zoo continue to be disappointed by the Tasmanian devil, say zoo officials.
 
A recent poll suggests 90% of teachers are worried their gay students may regress and turn straight over summer break. Most students had embraced their queer identities after being immersed in queerness around the clock for the entire school year.
A recent poll suggests 90% of teachers are worried their gay students may regress and turn straight over summer break. Most students had embraced their queer identities after being immersed in queerness around the clock for the entire school year.
 
Pope Francis donned a traditional Cherokee Indian headdress this week in preparation for a meeting with Native American Congresswoman Elizabeth Warren.
Pope Francis donned a traditional Cherokee Indian headdress this week in preparation for a meeting with Native American Congresswoman Elizabeth Warren.
 
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