Have you been wondering why so many people are suddenly collapsing? Well, it's definitely not in any way related to that one thing, that's for sure! The world's top experts have been hard at work studying what could cause this uptick in deaths.
Published: Monday, January 23rd, 2023 @ 2:00 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The mood around the nation's capital was somber today after congressional leaders made the declaration that any member who refuses to bow down before the bust of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky would be thrown into a fiery furnace.
Published: Wednesday, January 18th, 2023 @ 1:17 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Meghan Markle, beloved American princess and thespian, announced Friday that her husband Prince Harry would soon begin a lengthy and painful transition into Princess Harriet, a decision he made of his own free will without any coercion whatsoever.
Published: Tuesday, January 17th, 2023 @ 7:27 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The White House is on edge this morning after investigators revealed a fourth stash of classified documents from Biden's tenure as Vice President was found deep in his colon.
Published: Tuesday, January 17th, 2023 @ 5:34 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After multiple caches of highly classified government documents were found in different locations belonging to President Joe Biden, the United States Department of Justice acted swiftly to indict former President Donald Trump for the alleged crime.
Published: Tuesday, January 17th, 2023 @ 12:05 am
By: Babylon Bee
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President Biden's continued efforts to make the world a better place by judiciously banning everything people hold dear continues to bear fruit.
Published: Monday, January 16th, 2023 @ 11:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Medical experts are absolutely stumped as to what could be causing the recent uptick in healthy, young people everywhere that are suddenly collapsing with heart failure.
Published: Saturday, January 14th, 2023 @ 9:29 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Former Congressman Adam Kinzinger's new job as a Senior Political Commentator for CNN is already off to a rocky start. According to sources, anchors were forced to cut to commercials for the 12th time today to give him time to finish crying.
Published: Sunday, January 8th, 2023 @ 10:49 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Golden Globe winner Danny DeVito has been tapped by producers of The Chosen to portray the character of Zacchaeus, a man known for climbing a tree to see Jesus because he was so short.
Published: Saturday, January 7th, 2023 @ 10:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Tragedy struck Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky Friday as he shot himself in the eye with a rocket launcher he had received only days before as a gift from the United States.
Published: Monday, January 2nd, 2023 @ 1:21 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Vice President Kamala Harris recently visited the home of WNBA star Brittney Griner to welcome her back to the US after her release from a Russian prison.
Published: Friday, December 30th, 2022 @ 3:50 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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During a White House press conference focused on clarifying every statement Biden has ever made, Press Secretary Jean-Pierre clarified that the official White House policy was the opposite of whatever President Biden says in interviews.
Published: Friday, December 30th, 2022 @ 1:18 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Fox News Correspondent Peter Doocy has been issued a restraining order after he asked a question of Karine Jean-Pierre in today's press conference.
Published: Thursday, December 29th, 2022 @ 8:20 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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On the heels of a much-publicized prisoner exchange involving WNBA basketball player Brittney Griner, the Biden Administration issued a call for an urgent need to help Ukraine hunt for a notorious Russian arms dealer known as the "Merchant of Death,"
Published: Thursday, December 29th, 2022 @ 2:46 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The Senate race in Georgia has been called for Democrat Raphael Warnock, making this the second Republican loss in a row for that seat. Former President Trump soon took to Truth Social to remind the country that no other president has managed to lose the Senate
Published: Thursday, December 29th, 2022 @ 4:52 am
By: Babylon Bee
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During a courageous public statement denouncing Adolph Hitler in 2022, President Joe Biden deviated from his prepared remarks and recounted the time he personally faced off against Hitler while working as a lifeguard
Published: Wednesday, December 28th, 2022 @ 3:43 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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This week, dozens of Chinese citizens died after the Chinese Communist Party welded their apartment doors shut and a fire broke out in the building, sparking protests.
Published: Tuesday, December 27th, 2022 @ 1:27 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a shocking statement to police, Paul Pelosi claimed that he was assaulted by a man who threw hammers at him while shouting, "THIS IS MAGA COUNTRY!"
Published: Tuesday, December 27th, 2022 @ 10:48 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Thirteen billion people have already died horrible deaths mere hours after former President Donald Trump was reinstated to Twitter.
Published: Tuesday, December 27th, 2022 @ 8:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
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While speaking at a public symposium on behalf of The Association of Donut Lovers, Georgia Governor Stacey Abrams claimed obesity was just numbers manufactured by her bathroom scale.
Published: Tuesday, December 27th, 2022 @ 2:52 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After being fired from her role as Speaker of the House, Representative Nancy Pelosi was photographed nonchalantly stealing the official Speaker podium to take home as a souvenir.
Published: Monday, December 26th, 2022 @ 6:57 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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With the Respect for Marriage Bill to codify gay marriage nearing final passage, Representative Ilhan Omar has asked for an additional amendment to allow another form of marriage people might want to take advantage of from time to time.
Published: Monday, December 26th, 2022 @ 2:03 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In the aftermath of Donald Trump's announcement of his 2024 Presidential candidacy, the nation was frozen with fear
Published: Monday, December 26th, 2022 @ 1:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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As the nation continues to await the final results of last week's midterm elections, a local Democrat candidate pulled out a shocking victory in a narrow race, winning by only two rolling travel suitcases.
Published: Monday, December 26th, 2022 @ 9:52 am
By: Daily Wire
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In a shocking turn of events, famed prosperity gospel preacher Joel Osteen has suddenly gone bankrupt after local woman Carissa Stewart named and claimed his entire estate.
Published: Sunday, December 25th, 2022 @ 9:42 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After finally tallying the votes from Maricopa County, Arizona has announced that Calvin Coolidge has narrowly defeated John Davis for its three electoral votes.
Published: Sunday, December 25th, 2022 @ 4:17 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Hopes for the timely counting of Arizona ballots have hit a snag as famed author George R.R. Martin has been placed in charge of counting the state's ballots.
Published: Sunday, December 25th, 2022 @ 2:33 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Radical young voter Lance Bean was awarded thirty votes after expertly entering the "Konami Code" into his electronic voting machine Tuesday. All votes reportedly went to Arizona gubernatorial candidate Katie Hobbs.
Published: Sunday, December 25th, 2022 @ 12:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After several days of hearings, a Connecticut jury has found Alex Jones guilty of defamation and has sentenced him to death.
Published: Sunday, December 18th, 2022 @ 10:53 am
By: Babylon Bee
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On the heels of President Biden announcing the release of those imprisoned for non-violent marijuana offenses, Kamala Harris is demanding answers on who locked all those people up in the first place.
Published: Sunday, December 18th, 2022 @ 9:52 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With Ketanji Brown Jackson joining a growing number of women on the United States Supreme Court, Justice Clarance Thomas has taken to wearing noise-canceling headphones to help drown out the incessant chatter.
Published: Sunday, December 18th, 2022 @ 9:29 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Quarterback Tom Brady is growing increasingly frustrated with his offensive line after they once again failed to protect him in a brutal loss to the Steelers.
Published: Sunday, December 18th, 2022 @ 4:28 am
By: Babylon Bee
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In a recent interview with CNN's Jake Tapper, President Biden sat down to assure the nation that while a nuclear war is likely on the way, it will only be "very slight."
Published: Sunday, December 18th, 2022 @ 4:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Last week, PayPal faced backlash after including verbiage in its Acceptable Use Policy that allowed the company to fine users $2,500 for "misinformation."
Published: Sunday, December 18th, 2022 @ 3:45 am
By: Babylon Bee
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