t's finally happening. Local man Dylan Mido's entire life has reportedly been leading up to this very moment when his kid finally asks him for help beating the Water Temple in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
Published: Sunday, March 3rd, 2024 @ 8:43 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Life was a lot simpler before video games came along. Remember when kids could play all day and build real memories that didn't involve a screen? Those were the days.
Published: Friday, February 23rd, 2024 @ 1:25 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The secrets of the cigar lounge have been kept tightly under wraps for centuries, with women left to only speculate about the pearls of wisdom, mind-opening philosophies, and inimitable truths of life that are birthed in such an intimate, masculine setting.
Published: Friday, November 3rd, 2023 @ 9:32 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A local father of two is reported to have told one of the most thrillingly epic bedtime stories in recent history during a recent bedtime.
Published: Monday, October 16th, 2023 @ 9:04 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Ladies, we know you want us. Who wouldn't? Every woman wants a guy who spends all his time talking about Tolkien and Star Wars and playing Zelda, but how can you attract one? It's an age-old question, but thankfully, there are very simple answers.
Published: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 @ 11:14 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A local 10-year-old boy has died tragically of severe trauma due to his mother taking away his Nintendo Switch for a few days.
Published: Sunday, August 13th, 2023 @ 6:15 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Summertime is just around the corner, which means one thing: churches across the country are soon to be overrun with thousands of feral children.
Published: Sunday, July 16th, 2023 @ 6:32 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local wife Jill Williams spent the better part of Tuesday having a drawn-out argument with her husband Tad that occurred entirely in her own head.
Published: Wednesday, June 21st, 2023 @ 5:02 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Terror has rocked a small Moblin treehouse community after Gary L., a beloved Moblin relaxing by the campfire was slain by a wandering psychopath.
Published: Monday, June 12th, 2023 @ 11:30 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Gov. Ron DeSantis signed an executive order Friday to prevent Link, the hero of Hyrule, from wearing the female clothing of the Gerudo people.
Published: Saturday, June 10th, 2023 @ 7:42 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Is this the next pandemic? Health experts claim that a sudden, unexpected illness is expected to cause many American employees to stay home, some for a week or more, on May 12, 2023.
Published: Friday, September 30th, 2022 @ 3:43 am
By: Babylon Bee
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We get it. It's hard to read the divinely inspired word of the creator of the universe. He's so judgy! But, since your salvation might depend on it, you better get some great excuses ready to share on Judgment Day.
Published: Friday, July 29th, 2022 @ 1:02 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Filmmaker Woody Allen has often dealt with different historical periods, with ancillary interlopers, with varying degrees of success.
Published: Monday, March 14th, 2022 @ 8:14 am
By: Wyatt Sanderman Day
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Preston Earl Alligood, age 71, a resident of 2899 Lizzard Slip Road Washington, died Monday, Jan. 4, 2021, at his residence.
Published: Tuesday, January 5th, 2021 @ 9:39 am
By: Announcements
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Mrs. Anne B. Long, age 70, a resident of Washington, NC died Wednesday January 22, 2020 at her home.
Published: Friday, January 24th, 2020 @ 8:29 am
By: Announcements
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In celebration of Black History Month, Governor Roy Cooper and First Lady Kristin Cooper will honor African American musicians and artists from North Carolina at a reception at the Executive Mansion beginning at 4 p.m. Thursday, Feb. 14.
Published: Thursday, February 14th, 2019 @ 2:28 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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March has started off grandly with vibrant colorful works of art from the Students of the Pamlico Art Show, The Historic Port of Washington's Disply in the Art Cafe, Dueling Pianos, our first Jazz evening with Creech and Company and our Broadway Broadcast of "The Woodsman" all of which were so well
Published: Thursday, March 16th, 2017 @ 1:29 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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Ms. Zelda Davis, of 232 Sandalwood Drive, Durham, died Monday, October 27, 2014, at Martin General Hospital Williamston, NC.
Published: Sunday, November 2nd, 2014 @ 1:35 am
By: Announcements
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Colby Gray Williamson, age 5, son of Scott and Brooke Williamson, passed away Saturday, September 27, 2014.
Published: Monday, September 29th, 2014 @ 6:24 pm
By: Announcements
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Zelda “Grey” Carr of Washington, NC died Saturday, February 23, 2013 at Vidant Medical Center in Greenville, NC.
Published: Wednesday, February 27th, 2013 @ 12:01 pm
By: Announcements
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Mr. Hugh Carr, age 82, a resident of 100 Cypress Lake Circle, Washington, died Tuesday, March 6, 2012, at his home.
Published: Wednesday, March 7th, 2012 @ 3:36 am
By: Announcements
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