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As public interest in getting the COVID-19 vaccine fell to a new low, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced that it will now be upping its incentive to giving 2 free donuts to anyone who takes the shot.
Published: Monday, January 29th, 2024 @ 1:20 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Southwest Airlines, with a positive reputation for supporting plus-size travelers, has taken a big step in providing robust support for its largest customers. Starting this week, fliers of size will be given a complimentary bed of hay and a feeding trough.
Published: Friday, January 12th, 2024 @ 1:06 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Congregants at a local church participated in a time-honored tradition this past Sunday, with everyone standing to their feet to observe the 7th Sermon Point Stretch.
Published: Tuesday, October 10th, 2023 @ 11:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The drive-thru of a local Dunkin' Donuts was brought to a grinding halt this morning, as conservative media pundit, violinist, and doctor-husband Ben Shapiro continued his impassioned negative review of the new Barbie movie.
Published: Sunday, September 24th, 2023 @ 8:46 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A local man felt discouraged this morning during his daily weigh-in after discovering every calorie he burned competing in a triathlon yesterday was gained back by taking one bite of a donut.
Published: Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023 @ 2:57 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After many heated debates over matters of theology, doctrine, and church carpet color, Lutherans have all finally agreed to split and form his or her own individual synod.
Published: Thursday, June 15th, 2023 @ 1:04 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In what is sure to provide much-needed relief in military spending costs, officials at the Pentagon announced today that, rather than dropping bombs, the United States Air Force will begin dropping morbidly obese airmen on enemy targets.
Published: Thursday, June 8th, 2023 @ 7:40 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A local member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints found himself experiencing an acute trial of faith recently. Following the controversy surrounding Bud Light's support of trans activist Dylan Mulvaney, he wished he drank beer so he could join in the boycott of Bud Light.
Published: Thursday, May 11th, 2023 @ 5:58 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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With Tax Day rapidly approaching, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky issued a helpful reminder to all American taxpayers of the importance of paying their taxes in a timely manner while tearing through the war-torn streets of Kyiv in a brand new Ferrari F430.
Published: Thursday, May 11th, 2023 @ 8:12 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Rogers family faced serious persecution upon arrival at church this morning, as a visitor had parked in their usual parking spot.
Published: Wednesday, April 19th, 2023 @ 3:48 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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According to reports, filming on The Mandalorian Season 3 was delayed for days as one of the cast members, Lizzo, ate Baby Yoda.
Published: Tuesday, April 18th, 2023 @ 11:15 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Readers know that President Joe Biden is the most Polish-Jewish-Black-Puerto Rican-Greek-Irish-Catholic president that we have ever had. Yet did you know that he’s also a profound “student” of Persian culture?
Published: Sunday, April 2nd, 2023 @ 9:06 am
By: Daily Wire
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The Lenten season is upon us! Across America, people are giving things up for the next 40 days in preparation for Easter. Check out what the most common choice was for every state:
Published: Sunday, February 26th, 2023 @ 8:55 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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While speaking at a public symposium on behalf of The Association of Donut Lovers, Georgia Governor Stacey Abrams claimed obesity was just numbers manufactured by her bathroom scale.
Published: Tuesday, December 27th, 2022 @ 2:52 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local man Robert Thurdriftle took the day off work to tackle some of the 74 different things he had to do but, after puzzling about what to do first, eventually settled on doing nothing.
Published: Saturday, November 26th, 2022 @ 11:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Legendary soccer player David Beckham tried not to attract any attention as he joined the thousands waiting hours upon hours to say farewell to the late Queen Elizabeth II.
Published: Thursday, September 22nd, 2022 @ 2:36 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Portland, Oregon’s police force has been anemic since the 2020 racial unrest that led to riots, which partly explains why hoodlums are now running amok — even deploying a flamethrower — as they takeover entire streets in The City of Roses.
Published: Saturday, September 10th, 2022 @ 8:26 am
By: Daily Wire
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Bill Maher, host of HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher,” slammed the media and society in general for effectively celebrating people for being fat, warning that the trend is a legitimate national security concern for the United States
Published: Friday, August 19th, 2022 @ 9:00 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Former President Donald J. Trump was seen fleeing on a golf cart while shouting defiantly at federal agents Monday. Witnesses claim he led authorities on a daring chase that reached speeds of up to 30 Mph.
Published: Saturday, August 13th, 2022 @ 3:41 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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To accommodate people who prefer sprinkling donuts with coffee instead of fully immersing their donuts in coffee, Dunkin’ Donuts recently announced plans to open new branches of their popular donut shops in communities with a large number of practicing Presbyterians.
Published: Saturday, May 14th, 2022 @ 9:52 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With pediatric associations now in agreement that "gender-affirming care,"—in which children are drugged to block puberty and then dismembered through surgery—is 100% scientific and beneficial to kids, they are now introducing "fat-affirming care" for children.
Published: Tuesday, April 19th, 2022 @ 6:09 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Timothy “PaPa” Darrell Boseman, age 53, a resident of Chocowinity, passed away on Friday, April 1, 2022, at his home surrounded by his loving family after a long and courageous battle with cancer.
Published: Monday, April 4th, 2022 @ 8:57 am
By: Announcements
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A new sweet spot opened in the Uptown District. Located at 409 Evans Street, Over the Top Sweet Shop offers an array of treats.
Published: Friday, March 4th, 2022 @ 7:55 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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Monica Showalter of the American Thinker highlights a new high-profile target for the loony left.
Published: Saturday, February 13th, 2021 @ 1:02 pm
By: John Locke Foundation
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An updated tool for voter statistics could provide clarity for North Carolinians during a global pandemic and disrupted election.
Published: Friday, July 24th, 2020 @ 12:12 pm
By: Carolina Journal
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Christopher Henderson is a civil rights hero who participated in the famous Woolworth sit ins in Greensboro North Carolina.
Published: Monday, May 25th, 2020 @ 12:25 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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The News Media is allowed to change words.
Published: Thursday, May 7th, 2020 @ 10:32 pm
By: Alex J. Ortolano
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Impossible Foods and Beyond Meat are the most notable entrants in the race to make a meat substitute that acts like meat but is made entirely from plants. They have tremendous capital behind their efforts to make meatless meats that appeal to meat lovers.
Published: Sunday, November 24th, 2019 @ 3:28 am
By: Stan Deatherage
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Actor Danny Trejo is best known as a villain in numerous movies and TV shows, but in real life, the 75-year-old is much different than his onscreen persona.
Published: Tuesday, August 13th, 2019 @ 11:51 am
By: Daily Wire
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National Night Out is an annual community-building campaign that promotes police-community partnerships and public camaraderie to make our city a safer, better place to live. The 36th annual National Night Out will be held on Tuesday, August 6th.
Published: Wednesday, August 7th, 2019 @ 4:04 pm
By: Daniel Bunting
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Chris Evans should win all the Academy Awards. All. Of. Them. He is obviously an extraordinarily gifted actor, someone who can completely shed his own skin and convincingly become someone else.
Published: Tuesday, August 29th, 2017 @ 12:04 pm
By: Daily Wire
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