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Humor in the most unusual of all places - in the politics of our everyday lives.

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Babylon Bee  

Humor in the most unusual of all places - in the politics of our everyday lives.

After reviewing new historical evidence, scholars now believe the Apostle Paul used the handy map in the back of his Bible when deciding where to travel to next.
After reviewing new historical evidence, scholars now believe the Apostle Paul used the handy map in the back of his Bible when deciding where to travel to next.
 
Across the nation, thousands of religious fanatics have once again gathered to worship teams of unusually large men trying to move a piece of leather.
Across the nation, thousands of religious fanatics have once again gathered to worship teams of unusually large men trying to move a piece of leather.
 
The Biden administration will officially be supplying the toys for McDonald's new "Adult Happy Meals", which will reportedly consist of crack pipes and safe smoking kits.
The Biden administration will officially be supplying the toys for McDonald's new "Adult Happy Meals", which will reportedly consist of crack pipes and safe smoking kits.
 
Local man Vincent Palmer revealed his total unfamiliarity with life or God today, as he assured a suffering friend that God would never give him more than he could handle.
Local man Vincent Palmer revealed his total unfamiliarity with life or God today, as he assured a suffering friend that God would never give him more than he could handle.
 
Having heard about his boldness in standing up for the pro-life cause, local boomer Susan Levitt asked for help today downloading some music from that nice "Ye" fellow.
Having heard about his boldness in standing up for the pro-life cause, local boomer Susan Levitt asked for help today downloading some music from that nice "Ye" fellow.
 
The dark alleys of Hell's Kitchen were as sketchy and dangerous as any other night, but this time the atmosphere felt more...awkward, as Daredevil kept asking everyone if they liked his bright red outfit.
The dark alleys of Hell's Kitchen were as sketchy and dangerous as any other night, but this time the atmosphere felt more...awkward, as Daredevil kept asking everyone if they liked his bright red outfit.
 
According to sources, a local self-ordering kiosk at an overpriced cafe that sells self-serve coffee just asked if you would like to add a tip to a $12 coffee order.
According to sources, a local self-ordering kiosk at an overpriced cafe that sells self-serve coffee just asked if you would like to add a tip to a $12 coffee order.
 
A local man is being forced to leave behind friends, family, and even his own name to seek his fortune in a far-off country after accidentally ending a business call by saying "I love you."
A local man is being forced to leave behind friends, family, and even his own name to seek his fortune in a far-off country after accidentally ending a business call by saying "I love you."
 
Scholars working in the Holy Land learned an interesting tidbit today: the woman who anointed Jesus with oil - Mary of Bethany, a Bethany-dwelling woman whose name was Mary - actually performed the act of worship during an extended sales presentation for essential oils.
Scholars working in the Holy Land learned an interesting tidbit today: the woman who anointed Jesus with oil - Mary of Bethany, a Bethany-dwelling woman whose name was Mary - actually performed the act of worship during an extended sales presentation for essential oils.
 
The gay romantic comedy Bros saw a disappointing first weekend at the box office. Box office analysts are shocked that a movie aimed at 2% of the population fell short of attracting a broader audience.
The gay romantic comedy Bros saw a disappointing first weekend at the box office. Box office analysts are shocked that a movie aimed at 2% of the population fell short of attracting a broader audience.
 
This week, President Biden issued pardons to convicts who had been imprisoned for marijuana possession to make room for the influx of pro-life activists who Federal agents have been arresting.
This week, President Biden issued pardons to convicts who had been imprisoned for marijuana possession to make room for the influx of pro-life activists who Federal agents have been arresting.
 
Woke Hollywood has made another despicable move to turn children's entertainment into a weapon of their cultural war. This time, they have turned another beloved children's character gay — oh, wait, it's Velma? Eh. sure, whatever. Go for it.
Woke Hollywood has made another despicable move to turn children's entertainment into a weapon of their cultural war. This time, they have turned another beloved children's character gay — oh, wait, it's Velma? Eh. sure, whatever. Go for it.
 
Being a homophobic bigot is one of the worst things you can be. It's just like being Hitler! To make sure you're not a homophobic bigot, keep an eye out for these eight troubling signs. If you show any one of these symptoms, get help immediately.
Being a homophobic bigot is one of the worst things you can be. It's just like being Hitler! To make sure you're not a homophobic bigot, keep an eye out for these eight troubling signs. If you show any one of these symptoms, get help immediately.
 
Hopes for a quick and easy transaction for billionaire-inventor-entrepreneur Elon Musk's purchase of the popular social media platform Twitter were dashed today as it was revealed Musk's ATM would only allow him to withdraw $200 at a time.
Hopes for a quick and easy transaction for billionaire-inventor-entrepreneur Elon Musk's purchase of the popular social media platform Twitter were dashed today as it was revealed Musk's ATM would only allow him to withdraw $200 at a time.
 
After her divorce with Tom Brady becomes finalized, supermodel Gisele Bundchen is expected to own three times as many Super Bowl rings as legendary Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers.
After her divorce with Tom Brady becomes finalized, supermodel Gisele Bundchen is expected to own three times as many Super Bowl rings as legendary Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers.
 
A Tesla spokesperson announced that Elon Musk's new robot, the Tesla Optimus, has already fathered 7 baby robots. The announcement came as a shock both to Tesla and the greater engineering community.
A Tesla spokesperson announced that Elon Musk's new robot, the Tesla Optimus, has already fathered 7 baby robots. The announcement came as a shock both to Tesla and the greater engineering community.
 
A local man has achieved the unthinkable and miraculously arrived home on time and in good health despite not having his wife with him in the car to provide constant safe driving instructions.
A local man has achieved the unthinkable and miraculously arrived home on time and in good health despite not having his wife with him in the car to provide constant safe driving instructions.
 
The Federal Bureau of Investigation has placed God on its watch list after discovering a troubling history of extreme pro-life comments.
The Federal Bureau of Investigation has placed God on its watch list after discovering a troubling history of extreme pro-life comments.
 
Psychologists and sex experts are flocking to Wisconsin to study a local man who claims to have a bizarre fetish for settling down with one woman in a committed, loving relationship in the bonds of marriage forever and ever.
Psychologists and sex experts are flocking to Wisconsin to study a local man who claims to have a bizarre fetish for settling down with one woman in a committed, loving relationship in the bonds of marriage forever and ever.
 
America's national debt just passed $31 trillion for the first time in history. Yikes! Don't worry though, we at The Babylon Bee have a few brilliant money-raising ideas up our sleeves that Congress probably hasn't heard of yet.
America's national debt just passed $31 trillion for the first time in history. Yikes! Don't worry though, we at The Babylon Bee have a few brilliant money-raising ideas up our sleeves that Congress probably hasn't heard of yet.
 
With hurricane deaths reaching pandemic levels, Pfizer has announced emergency FDA approval of their new, untested hurricane vaccine, Hurriprofitol®.
With hurricane deaths reaching pandemic levels, Pfizer has announced emergency FDA approval of their new, untested hurricane vaccine, Hurriprofitol®.
 
Local husband Spencer Johnson has been given a life sentence of going to the pumpkin patch every year with his wife Megan.
Local husband Spencer Johnson has been given a life sentence of going to the pumpkin patch every year with his wife Megan.
 
The evangelical world is abuzz after VeggieTales creator Phil Vischer, who recently said he supports abortion in some cases, announced a brand new film in which beloved character Laura Carrot aborts her baby carrot.
The evangelical world is abuzz after VeggieTales creator Phil Vischer, who recently said he supports abortion in some cases, announced a brand new film in which beloved character Laura Carrot aborts her baby carrot.
 
Hip-hop artist and fashion designer Kanye West was embroiled in controversy this week after wearing a shirt bearing the phrase "White Lives Matter" across its back.
Hip-hop artist and fashion designer Kanye West was embroiled in controversy this week after wearing a shirt bearing the phrase "White Lives Matter" across its back.
 
This week, U.S. President Joe Biden called into the radio show of personal finance guru Dave Ramsey, asking for financial advice for paying off his $31 trillion debt.
This week, U.S. President Joe Biden called into the radio show of personal finance guru Dave Ramsey, asking for financial advice for paying off his $31 trillion debt.
 
Yankees outfielder Aaron Judge has hit his 62nd home run, setting the American League single-season record for someone with a normal-sized head.
Yankees outfielder Aaron Judge has hit his 62nd home run, setting the American League single-season record for someone with a normal-sized head.
 
Saturday Night Live has launched yet another season featuring more parodies of former President Donald Trump. The cast and crew stated they would love to make fun of the current president too if only he ever did anything at all deserving of mockery.
Saturday Night Live has launched yet another season featuring more parodies of former President Donald Trump. The cast and crew stated they would love to make fun of the current president too if only he ever did anything at all deserving of mockery.
 
Homeless vagrant Jean-Michel de Beauvoir won the coveted Palme d'Louvre award for Best in Fashion after stumbling onto the stage during Paris Fashion Week during a Balenciaga show.
Homeless vagrant Jean-Michel de Beauvoir won the coveted Palme d'Louvre award for Best in Fashion after stumbling onto the stage during Paris Fashion Week during a Balenciaga show.
 
Three months have passed since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, and Planned Parenthood has since struggled to reach its goals of lovingly killing unborn babies and harvesting their parts for money due to conservative states outlawing the practice.
Three months have passed since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, and Planned Parenthood has since struggled to reach its goals of lovingly killing unborn babies and harvesting their parts for money due to conservative states outlawing the practice.
 
In a desperate attempt to get help for its citizens and deal with the growing humanitarian crisis in the area, a Florida town devastated by Hurricane Ian has taken the unusual step of raising the Ukrainian flag, hoping to convince Congress to send aid.
In a desperate attempt to get help for its citizens and deal with the growing humanitarian crisis in the area, a Florida town devastated by Hurricane Ian has taken the unusual step of raising the Ukrainian flag, hoping to convince Congress to send aid.
 
Jewish religious leaders have taken issue with the Apostle Paul's continuing to preach Jesus as Messiah to Gentile regions, which the Jewish religious leaders have condemned.
Jewish religious leaders have taken issue with the Apostle Paul's continuing to preach Jesus as Messiah to Gentile regions, which the Jewish religious leaders have condemned.
 
To help support its recent efforts to conduct grotesque gender experiments on young children, the American Medical Association has appointed famed Nazi doctor Josef Mengele as its new president.
To help support its recent efforts to conduct grotesque gender experiments on young children, the American Medical Association has appointed famed Nazi doctor Josef Mengele as its new president.
 
Are you a Dad looking for ways to bond with your son? It's important to spend quality time with your boys and teach them how to be real men! Otherwise, they may grow up to be whiny weaklings! Not good!
Are you a Dad looking for ways to bond with your son? It's important to spend quality time with your boys and teach them how to be real men! Otherwise, they may grow up to be whiny weaklings! Not good!
 
The NFL has fired its chief neurologist, Peter Pegalia, after learning Pegalia's concussion protocol was to look for cartoon birds flying around the heads of players suspected of being concussed.
The NFL has fired its chief neurologist, Peter Pegalia, after learning Pegalia's concussion protocol was to look for cartoon birds flying around the heads of players suspected of being concussed.
 
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