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It's a New Year, which means it's time to make resolutions — even for prominent evangelical leaders. The Babylon Bee asked the following well-known figures in the faith what they hope to accomplish in 2024:
Published: Thursday, March 28th, 2024 @ 7:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Dread it. Run from it. 2024 has arrived all the same. But fear not as the team at The Babylon Bee has been hard at work for you coming up with the most probable, and completely accurate 2024 predictions to help you make it through the New Year.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 12:22 am
By: Babylon Bee
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PENSACOLA, FL — As controversy continues to swirl following Pope Francis's pronouncement that Catholic priests are free to bless people who are in same-sex relationships, a local protestant man slept soundly
Published: Sunday, March 3rd, 2024 @ 5:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Christians can be hard to buy gifts for. You've gotta know what they're into, what kinds of gifts they'd consider sinful, and most of all, what denomination they're a part of. There's no holiday faux pas like accidentally gifting a John MacArthur book to a charismatic.
Published: Tuesday, February 27th, 2024 @ 5:33 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A woman carrying an AR-15 that had “Palestine” written on it started shooting at the megachurch of celebrity pastor Joel Osteen in Houston on Sunday, injuring one man before she was shot and killed by two off-duty officers working as security, police said.
Published: Wednesday, February 21st, 2024 @ 5:23 pm
By: Daily Wire
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What began as a pleasant seminar at Lakewood Church devolved into an awkward situation today, as Senior Pastor Joel Osteen was stumped by one attendee who asked him to name three books from the Bible.
Published: Tuesday, February 20th, 2024 @ 1:57 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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SHANGHAI — In response to some confusion around China's ongoing ban on Bibles, President Xi called a press conference to confirm an exception to his prohibition on God's Holy Word will be made for a popular version known as "The Message."
Published: Thursday, February 1st, 2024 @ 11:51 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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It can be so confusing, trying to figure out which of the 437 Christian denominations you want to join. In fact, scientists believe there are almost as many denominations as there are genders. That's a lot of different ways to do church!
Published: Tuesday, January 30th, 2024 @ 1:57 am
By: Babylon Bee
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In accordance with his annual tradition, Joel Osteen has once again decided to wear his "pastor" costume for Halloween this year.
Published: Sunday, December 17th, 2023 @ 11:20 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Due to quality control issues, Saint Peter's questionnaire at the Pearly Gates has gotten stricter. Still think you can get into heaven with all your terrible opinions? Check out this list and find out!
Published: Tuesday, April 11th, 2023 @ 10:59 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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For just 63 cents a day, less than a cup of coffee, you can save all the dogs and cats who are tied to trees in the snow and cold of winter.
Published: Saturday, January 7th, 2023 @ 7:23 am
By: Lib Campbell
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In a shocking turn of events, famed prosperity gospel preacher Joel Osteen has suddenly gone bankrupt after local woman Carissa Stewart named and claimed his entire estate.
Published: Sunday, December 25th, 2022 @ 9:42 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Archaeologists have discovered the unmistakable remains from humongous "Minion" inflatables that Mary and Joseph used to decorate the front of the stable.
Published: Tuesday, December 13th, 2022 @ 1:33 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Be alert! Horror movies are proven to murder your soul by decapitating it with a spiritual machete.
Published: Saturday, October 29th, 2022 @ 9:06 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Lakewood Church Pastor Joel Osteen has begun selling his own unique brand of table salt, which is completely devoid of any and all saltiness.
Published: Saturday, October 8th, 2022 @ 7:40 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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We sent our Babylon Bee investigative journalists all across the country to find out which walk-up songs famous pastors are using to hype up the crowd as they leave the on-deck circle and take the stage.
Published: Monday, September 26th, 2022 @ 12:43 am
By: Babylon Bee
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We all know there are tremendous benefits to reading the Bible, but it's so hard to be consistent with reading it every day!
Published: Thursday, September 22nd, 2022 @ 12:34 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Houston pastor Joel Osteen has released an exciting new study Bible where he has carefully gone through and redacted every single word of the text: The Redacted Study Bible.
Published: Sunday, September 4th, 2022 @ 1:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Joel Osteen took the Apostle Paul to task on Sunday, calling out his awful habit of negative self-talk and overly mournful diatribes.
Published: Thursday, August 4th, 2022 @ 12:46 am
By: Babylon Bee
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We get it. It's hard to read the divinely inspired word of the creator of the universe. He's so judgy! But, since your salvation might depend on it, you better get some great excuses ready to share on Judgment Day.
Published: Friday, July 29th, 2022 @ 1:02 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Show us a pulpit, and you've shown us everything we need to know about its pastor. In fact, our panel of theology experts on staff at The Babylon Bee have the God-given ability to judge with 99.97% accuracy the theology of a church just based on its pulpit.
Published: Monday, July 18th, 2022 @ 2:17 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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You can tell a lot about a person by which character they use in Super Smash Bros.
Published: Wednesday, July 13th, 2022 @ 8:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
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While exiled on the island of Patmos, the apostle John experienced a grand vision that would not be fully understood until Left Behind: A Novel of the Earth's Last Days was published in 1995.
Published: Thursday, June 23rd, 2022 @ 2:20 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The world has been trying to rip off Christianity for thousands of years with wacky false idols and soap opera quality greek mythology. Frankly, it's embarrassing.
Published: Monday, June 13th, 2022 @ 12:22 am
By: Babylon Bee
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During a recent devotional time, Jesus found himself flummoxed when reading his words in the popular Bible “translation” which renders the text “thought-for-thought” rather than “word-for-word”—“The Message.”
Published: Friday, May 13th, 2022 @ 1:07 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Enthralled onlookers at Lakewood Church in Houston watched this Sunday as a surprise guest marched onstage: John MacArthur.
Published: Wednesday, April 6th, 2022 @ 10:34 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Mrs. Dorothy Marie Bennett Bonner, age 91, a resident of Edward, NC died Friday June 21, 2019 at Grantsbrook Nursing & Rehab Center of Grantsboro.
Published: Monday, June 24th, 2019 @ 10:38 am
By: Announcements
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Here is the "New Baptist Look." His father was at the Taylors (SC) FBC when I started at Easley in 1970.
Published: Thursday, June 18th, 2015 @ 12:19 pm
By: Gene Scarborough
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