Witnesses claim to have seen New York City Mayor Eric Adams quietly blacking out the words of the Statue of Liberty's famous inscription with a permanent marker.
Published: Wednesday, May 15th, 2024 @ 12:40 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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As previously sealed documents related to Jeffrey Epstein continued to be released, liberals praised the late disgraced billionaire for not discriminating against disabled persons like Stephen Hawking.
Published: Wednesday, May 15th, 2024 @ 9:08 am
By: Babylon Bee
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War on free speech continues in Europe, and likely coming to America
Published: Tuesday, May 7th, 2024 @ 12:31 pm
By: John Steed
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A black celebrity took a single conservative position earlier this week, causing conservatives to immediately embrace the celebrity as a conservative icon.
Published: Monday, May 6th, 2024 @ 5:39 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A British High Court has granted Julian Assange limited leave to appeal his extradition to the United States from the United Kingdom.
Published: Monday, May 6th, 2024 @ 5:16 am
By: Daily Wire
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Whether he's putting on a beanie and pretending to be a gym rat or putting on a false nose and glasses and pretending to be gay, James O'Keefe is a true master of disguise.
Published: Saturday, May 4th, 2024 @ 9:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In response to the growing outcry over tens of thousands of migrants illegally flooding into the United States, President Joe Biden deployed federal agents to the southern border to help block journalists' cameras.
Published: Sunday, April 7th, 2024 @ 7:56 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Former presidential candidate and First Lady Hillary Clinton was seen at a local Bass Pro Shops strolling up and down the aisles looking to buy from the store's selection of sniper rifles.
Published: Sunday, April 7th, 2024 @ 9:30 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Disney executives announced an upcoming installment in the popular Star Wars franchise that will feature a female Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.
Published: Thursday, April 4th, 2024 @ 6:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The White House explained today that President Biden's horrific sunburn occurred due to him spreading mayonnaise on his face instead of his ham sandwich, a snafu that could happen to anyone of any cognitive ability.
Published: Tuesday, April 2nd, 2024 @ 11:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After the release of unredacted documents related to the Jeffrey Epstein case was suddenly delayed this week, authorities confirmed the unexpected holdup was designed to give Bill Clinton extra time to flee the country.
Published: Friday, March 29th, 2024 @ 10:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Hamas is reeling after losing two of their most cherished leaders on the same day: military commander Saleh al-Arouri, and Harvard President Claudine Gay.
Published: Wednesday, March 27th, 2024 @ 12:47 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Green Day Releases Edgy New Album Titled 'Get The Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, And Trump Is Bad'Hot on the heels of its highly publicized television performance on New Year's Eve, the pop-punk band Green Day announced the release of an edgy new album titled Get the Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, and Trump Is Bad.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 11:44 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Daily Wire host Matt Walsh passed away Monday aboard Southwest Airlines Flight WN2208 after the passenger in front of him reclined her seat and crushed him to death, officials announced.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 6:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In what has been talked about as a "last-ditch attempt" to avoid all-out war, Texas has announced it has agreed to a two-state solution with the city of Austin. Officials hope this distinction will help calm decades of growing hostilities in the region.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 4:24 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After facing weeks of pressure to resign following scandals involving campus antisemitism and plagiarism, Claudine Gay has announced she will step down as Harvard's President. She delivered her remarks this morning in a tearful speech entitled "Gettysburg Address."
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 12:57 am
By: Babylon Bee
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To quiet some of the controversy that arose from the publication of a calendar featuring conservative women, a Republican political action committee has announced the release of a new "Real Conservative Men" calendar for 2024 featuring 12 pictures of Congressman Thomas Massie
Published: Sunday, March 24th, 2024 @ 11:33 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Pharmacies in the DC area are reporting a shortage of stimulant drugs following Biden's State of the Union Address last night.
Published: Sunday, March 24th, 2024 @ 8:22 am
By: Babylon Bee
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As 2023 wound to a close, local man Luis Garcia decided to escape from the terrifying state of living in today's America by enjoying a nice, relaxing game of Fallout 3 on his gaming computer.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 9:09 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A new law passed in Canada this week required all men's room across the country to stock tampons in case Justin Trudeau pops in and happens to be on "that time of the month," sources confirmed Wednesday morning.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 6:37 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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As new studies reveal a significant decline in student literacy in the United States, experts examining the data have concluded the problem stems from there not being enough drag queen story hours in American libraries.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 4:49 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A local man was tragically rendered unable to brush his teeth after he mistakenly neglected to pay the monthly subscription fee on his smart electric toothbrush.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 2:52 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Famed Christian apologist and professor Dr. William Lane Craig irrefutably proved God's existence today by simply pointing to a plate of freshly made fish tacos.
Published: Thursday, March 21st, 2024 @ 8:06 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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What began as a fun-filled afternoon of living room hijinx ended in tragedy today, as a middle-aged father was left in intensive care at a local hospital after getting down on the floor to play with his young children.
Published: Thursday, March 21st, 2024 @ 5:21 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Former Congressman Ron Paul was spotted muttering nervously to himself today while standing in line to see Santa Claus at a nearby shopping mall, as he hoped this would finally be the year he would get what he wanted by asking for the 47th consecutive year for Santa to end the Fed
Published: Wednesday, March 20th, 2024 @ 10:50 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Taylor Swift has set the internet ablaze once again after a photographer caught the superstar out on a romantic date with Pop Tart Guy.
Published: Wednesday, March 20th, 2024 @ 1:13 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Massive waves have come crashing into the California coast as the Lord in His graciousness has sent ocean waters to wash away the sidewalk poop.
Published: Tuesday, March 19th, 2024 @ 10:05 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After suffering a record-tying 28th straight loss, basketball fans across the country and the other 29 NBA teams voted unanimously to demote the Detroit Pistons to the WNBA.
Published: Tuesday, March 19th, 2024 @ 12:33 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A local wife began training to join her regional women's hockey team when she discovered the grand prize for winners of the National Hockey League is a Stanley Cup.
Published: Monday, March 18th, 2024 @ 4:00 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Embattled former New York Congressman George Santos has landed on his feet following his ouster from the U.S. House of Representatives, with the announcement that he has been hired as a fact-checker at The New York Times.
Published: Monday, March 18th, 2024 @ 3:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With news of still more lewd U.S. Congress incidents circulating, a local man reported a mysterious encounter he had in which God agreed to spare the nation's capital from divine destruction if He finds just 10 congressional staffers who have not filmed a gay sex tape in the Capit
Published: Sunday, March 17th, 2024 @ 8:02 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A local man observed a peculiar late-night ritual this week, as his wife successfully put all of the children to bed, tidied up the kitchen early, and went upstairs to relax after a stressful day by settling into a hot bubble bath
Published: Saturday, March 16th, 2024 @ 11:46 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The New York Times has sounded the alarm, issuing a dire warning to the nation: involved and loving cartoon dads could be the catalyst for an epidemic of involved and loving dads in real life.
Published: Saturday, March 16th, 2024 @ 3:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Although the public has long suspected visitors of the infamous "Epstein Island" were a veritable who's-who of high-ranking public officials and Hollywood celebrities, newly released court documents show that convicted human trafficker Jeffrey Epstein had just one client: a black bar.
Published: Thursday, March 14th, 2024 @ 10:51 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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