More By Babylon Bee | Eastern NC Now

View More Entries By Babylon...

ENCNow
Home
Categories
Login
Advertisement
VbAD0
Latest Polls   (view all)
Where do you stand on the Transgender Issue now that the issue has gotten to the overt point of the open celebration of this lifestyle choice, dictated by certain direct and explicit actions.
87.95% I do not approve of behavior that has within its expressed tenants policies that harm children.
10.84% I do support the Trans Community in all its many facets because diversity is at a premium in today's society.
1.2% What is a "Children's Drag Queen Story Hour?"
Advertisement
VbAD1
Latest Comments   (view all)
Advertisement
VbAD2
Latest Entries   (view all)
Advertisement
O2bAD0
ENCN Masthead
ENCN Masthead

Babylon Bee's Entries

The American public at large has noticed an eerie calm in recent days, leading everyone to believe the slow news week must be a clear indication the reptile overlords who rule the globe must be planning something big.
The American public at large has noticed an eerie calm in recent days, leading everyone to believe the slow news week must be a clear indication the reptile overlords who rule the globe must be planning something big.
 
Today's drama regarding the ongoing search for the next Speaker of the House of Representatives was ground to a halt today as over 1,000 pro-Hamas protestors stormed the U.S. Capitol led by a buffalo hat-wearing Ilhan Omar.
Today's drama regarding the ongoing search for the next Speaker of the House of Representatives was ground to a halt today as over 1,000 pro-Hamas protestors stormed the U.S. Capitol led by a buffalo hat-wearing Ilhan Omar.
 
Now entering its third encounter with Whoopi Goldberg, the COVID virus has begun desperately searching for a vaccine against the talk show host.
Now entering its third encounter with Whoopi Goldberg, the COVID virus has begun desperately searching for a vaccine against the talk show host.
 
(Continued from headline) Trump calling Charlottesville neo-nazis "fine people," COVID-19 vaccine effectiveness, Bubba Wallace garage noose, Trump telling people to inject themselves with bleach
(Continued from headline) Trump calling Charlottesville neo-nazis "fine people," COVID-19 vaccine effectiveness, Bubba Wallace garage noose, Trump telling people to inject themselves with bleach
 
Surprise, surprise — wokeness has spread far beyond our own galaxy. With the long-awaited release of Starfield, the science fiction action-role-playing game from Bethesda, hardcore gamers will now be forced to play a game that crams a big steaming pile of WOKE down their throats every time they play
Surprise, surprise — wokeness has spread far beyond our own galaxy. With the long-awaited release of Starfield, the science fiction action-role-playing game from Bethesda, hardcore gamers will now be forced to play a game that crams a big steaming pile of WOKE down their throats every time they play
 
With the war against Russia still raging, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has announced a new incentive program to encourage women to enlist in the Ukrainian military, with each woman who signs up receiving a free pumpkin spice latte.
With the war against Russia still raging, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has announced a new incentive program to encourage women to enlist in the Ukrainian military, with each woman who signs up receiving a free pumpkin spice latte.
 
Hey guys, check out Caleb. He brought his own pool stick to play pool. What a bad hombre, bringing his own stick to hit the pool balls with, amirite? And in its own little tote bag, how cute!
Hey guys, check out Caleb. He brought his own pool stick to play pool. What a bad hombre, bringing his own stick to hit the pool balls with, amirite? And in its own little tote bag, how cute!
 
In an exclusive new interview, Justin Timberlake revealed that if he hadn't forced his ex-girlfriend Britney Spears to abort their child when she was 19, her mental health probably would have suffered greatly.
In an exclusive new interview, Justin Timberlake revealed that if he hadn't forced his ex-girlfriend Britney Spears to abort their child when she was 19, her mental health probably would have suffered greatly.
 
In response to mounting criticism of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnel's fitness to serve, the Republican party has replaced McConnell with a far more lifelike cardboard cutout of the Kentucky senator, according to sources.
In response to mounting criticism of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnel's fitness to serve, the Republican party has replaced McConnell with a far more lifelike cardboard cutout of the Kentucky senator, according to sources.
 
In a stunning act of mass delusion and cinematic stupidity, Americans have announced plans to keep pretending that Disney's animated 2013 film Frozen was somehow, in some universe, a better film than Disney's animated 2010 masterpiece Tangled.
In a stunning act of mass delusion and cinematic stupidity, Americans have announced plans to keep pretending that Disney's animated 2013 film Frozen was somehow, in some universe, a better film than Disney's animated 2010 masterpiece Tangled.
 
As an important moral lesson to children everywhere, fathers across the United States reminded their kids that it's never okay to lie unless it's being done to save a few bucks by ordering food from the kid's menu at restaurants.
As an important moral lesson to children everywhere, fathers across the United States reminded their kids that it's never okay to lie unless it's being done to save a few bucks by ordering food from the kid's menu at restaurants.
 
According to official Isengard sources, a band of brave resistance fighters has arrived outside Helm's Deep in what they claim is the first of many battles in the noble campaign to decolonize Gondor.
According to official Isengard sources, a band of brave resistance fighters has arrived outside Helm's Deep in what they claim is the first of many battles in the noble campaign to decolonize Gondor.
 
President Biden has approved an emergency shipment of $40 billion worth of drugs be airdropped to stranded revelers at the Burning Man Festival.
President Biden has approved an emergency shipment of $40 billion worth of drugs be airdropped to stranded revelers at the Burning Man Festival.
 
People who chose to attend the infamous Burning Man Festival have been punished by being at the Burning Man Festival.
People who chose to attend the infamous Burning Man Festival have been punished by being at the Burning Man Festival.
 
The situation in San Francisco has deteriorated to the degree that now passing ruffians are saying "Ni!" at will to old ladies.
The situation in San Francisco has deteriorated to the degree that now passing ruffians are saying "Ni!" at will to old ladies.
 
Local man John Archer has decided to resume wearing a mask in order to let everyone around him know he's terrible at risk analysis.
Local man John Archer has decided to resume wearing a mask in order to let everyone around him know he's terrible at risk analysis.
 
Authorities in Margaritaville have called for all the tiny drink umbrellas to be flown at half-staff today in honor of the late Mayor, Mr. Jimmy Buffett.
Authorities in Margaritaville have called for all the tiny drink umbrellas to be flown at half-staff today in honor of the late Mayor, Mr. Jimmy Buffett.
 
The Song of Songs is chock-full of memorable love lines (fawns, anyone?) -- but not all of Solomon's romantic poetry was included in the final cut. Here are nine rejected lines that didn't quite make the grade:
The Song of Songs is chock-full of memorable love lines (fawns, anyone?) -- but not all of Solomon's romantic poetry was included in the final cut. Here are nine rejected lines that didn't quite make the grade:
 
Local man Samuel Higgins declined an invitation to join a men's accountability group today, not wanting to embarrass the other men with his complete and total righteousness.
Local man Samuel Higgins declined an invitation to join a men's accountability group today, not wanting to embarrass the other men with his complete and total righteousness.
 
We're several days into a new school year, and if your kid hasn't been suspended yet, you may need to take a hard look at what type of child you're raising.
We're several days into a new school year, and if your kid hasn't been suspended yet, you may need to take a hard look at what type of child you're raising.
 
During an online conversation pontificating over the pros and cons of a subject no one will remember in just a few short days, user BERNIER00LZ replied to your suggestion that "You're opinions are wrong," with the curt correction "*Your" while knowing full well exactly what you meant.
During an online conversation pontificating over the pros and cons of a subject no one will remember in just a few short days, user BERNIER00LZ replied to your suggestion that "You're opinions are wrong," with the curt correction "*Your" while knowing full well exactly what you meant.
 
As the United States enters the 33rd month of Joe Biden's presidency, the American people expressed conflicted feelings, with most people torn between being angry the president never shows up for work and being relieved he never shows up for work.
As the United States enters the 33rd month of Joe Biden's presidency, the American people expressed conflicted feelings, with most people torn between being angry the president never shows up for work and being relieved he never shows up for work.
 
Taylor Swift is extremely popular among young girls and millennial women who still think they're young. Her music covers a wide variety of topics like breakups, love gone wrong, and broken relationships.
Taylor Swift is extremely popular among young girls and millennial women who still think they're young. Her music covers a wide variety of topics like breakups, love gone wrong, and broken relationships.
 
A local man suffered from an embarrassing "boomer" moment today, as Gandalf the Gray experienced great difficulty remembering the password to unlock the Doors of Durin at the West-gate Moria.
A local man suffered from an embarrassing "boomer" moment today, as Gandalf the Gray experienced great difficulty remembering the password to unlock the Doors of Durin at the West-gate Moria.
 
In addition to certifying Mitch McConnell, Diane Feinstein, and John Fetterman as fit to serve in prominent roles in the legislative branch of the United States government, the attending physician at the U.S. Capitol has medically cleared a bowl of Jell-O to serve in the Senate.
In addition to certifying Mitch McConnell, Diane Feinstein, and John Fetterman as fit to serve in prominent roles in the legislative branch of the United States government, the attending physician at the U.S. Capitol has medically cleared a bowl of Jell-O to serve in the Senate.
 
According to sources, President Joe Biden irreversibly tarnished America's reputation in Israel when he played "Despacito" on his phone while addressing Israeli parliament. The awkward moment reportedly dashed any hopes the region had for peace.
According to sources, President Joe Biden irreversibly tarnished America's reputation in Israel when he played "Despacito" on his phone while addressing Israeli parliament. The awkward moment reportedly dashed any hopes the region had for peace.
 
The staff of the New York Times spent the morning patiently waiting by the computer, waiting for the call from Hamas to see what the terrorists would like to have printed on the front page today.
The staff of the New York Times spent the morning patiently waiting by the computer, waiting for the call from Hamas to see what the terrorists would like to have printed on the front page today.
 
After tragedy struck a local family last night, local dad Jordan Duckworth bore the unenviable task of notifying his children that a burglar had broken into their home and stolen all of the Reese's peanut butter cups they had received while trick-or-treating.
After tragedy struck a local family last night, local dad Jordan Duckworth bore the unenviable task of notifying his children that a burglar had broken into their home and stolen all of the Reese's peanut butter cups they had received while trick-or-treating.
 
Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson announced this week that Chicago is bringing a lawsuit against the estates of thousands of murder victims for failing to step out of the way of bullets when they were shot at.
Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson announced this week that Chicago is bringing a lawsuit against the estates of thousands of murder victims for failing to step out of the way of bullets when they were shot at.
 
In a chilling word of caution fitting for Halloween, D.C. area parents sternly warned their trick-or-treating children to avoid venturing anywhere near a large house on Pennsylvania Avenue where a creepy old man lives.
In a chilling word of caution fitting for Halloween, D.C. area parents sternly warned their trick-or-treating children to avoid venturing anywhere near a large house on Pennsylvania Avenue where a creepy old man lives.
 
As record heat swept across the southern United States in recent weeks, suburban housewives were quick to seize upon brief periods when the temperature briefly dipped just below 100 degrees to break out their voluminous amounts of fall decorations.
As record heat swept across the southern United States in recent weeks, suburban housewives were quick to seize upon brief periods when the temperature briefly dipped just below 100 degrees to break out their voluminous amounts of fall decorations.
 
Local Christian Stewart Tepid was careful to include a disclaimer with his recommendation of the hit TV show Naked Murder Mountain, saying,"It's a really good show besides the nudity, homosexuality, violence, swearing and drug use."
Local Christian Stewart Tepid was careful to include a disclaimer with his recommendation of the hit TV show Naked Murder Mountain, saying,"It's a really good show besides the nudity, homosexuality, violence, swearing and drug use."
 
According to sources, local atheist Sam Thorp has been gloriously converted to Christianity only seconds after hearing Johnny Cash's hit song "The Man Comes Around" for the first time.
According to sources, local atheist Sam Thorp has been gloriously converted to Christianity only seconds after hearing Johnny Cash's hit song "The Man Comes Around" for the first time.
 
Mitch McConnell resigned from Congress without warning Thursday, signaling his departure by blinking twice.
Mitch McConnell resigned from Congress without warning Thursday, signaling his departure by blinking twice.
 
« Newer     Older »     

HbAD0

 
 
Back to Top