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Scandal. Conspiracy. The beast which comes forth from the sea to make war with the saints and to overcome them.
Published: Thursday, November 24th, 2022 @ 2:44 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Respect for Marriage Act, which legalizes same-sex marriage nationwide, is expected to pass Congress.
Published: Thursday, November 24th, 2022 @ 2:26 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Following Donald Trump's Tuesday announcement of his 2024 campaign, many Americans are remembering a time when we finished one election before starting another.
Published: Thursday, November 24th, 2022 @ 2:10 am
By: Babylon Bee
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This week, CBS News confirmed that Hunter Biden's laptop detailing illegal acts, including foreign financial entanglements that involved President Joe Biden, was indeed legitimate.
Published: Wednesday, November 23rd, 2022 @ 10:52 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Trump is going to be president again! No, really! And when he takes office he's going to make America great and glorious again.
Published: Wednesday, November 23rd, 2022 @ 2:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With the holidays just around the corner, Nerf has introduced its new line of high-capacity, rapid-fire guns with a highly realistic ad that is just two hours of Dad picking up darts.
Published: Wednesday, November 23rd, 2022 @ 1:10 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After a bruising campaign and a protracted process of tabulating results, local man Mike Vaughan's wife has gained control of the house in a slim but decisive majority of 1 vote per wife and 1 vote per husband.
Published: Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022 @ 9:08 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Twitter CEO Elon Musk announced Wednesday he would be opening an exclusive company cafeteria that would sell items for $8.00 each
Published: Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022 @ 8:39 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Last night President Trump made the announcement that he will be running for a historic third term as president after already winning the two previous ones.
Published: Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022 @ 6:48 am
By: Babylon Bee
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According to sources, a local pediatrician has just wrapped up his round of daily calls with concerned parents in which he assures them their child's cold will only last another 3 to 4 years.
Published: Monday, November 21st, 2022 @ 8:26 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Everyone knows that if you don't go to college, you will be a total loser with no future. Don't let that happen to you!
Published: Monday, November 21st, 2022 @ 8:01 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Though votes from the 2022 midterm elections are still being tallied, the writing's on the wall: Republicans blew it.
Published: Monday, November 21st, 2022 @ 1:17 am
By: Babylon Bee
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According to sources, a local developer who was recently let go from Twitter is having a difficult time finding the meditation room at his new job at the SFO Airport Taco Bell.
Published: Monday, November 21st, 2022 @ 12:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The nation is effervescent with anticipation for Donald J. Trump's upcoming announcement.
Published: Monday, November 21st, 2022 @ 12:12 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The United States has solved the crisis in Ukraine after Congress voted to install a "gun-free zone" sign in Ukraine. The sign is expected to put an end to the Russia-Ukraine crisis, which began in 2014 with fighting in isolated regions before escalating to a full-scale land invasion
Published: Sunday, November 20th, 2022 @ 9:07 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a stunning outcome to a highly scrutinized race, Katie Hobbs, the charismatic leader and official vote counter of Arizona, has emerged victorious after 108% of the state's voting precincts reported in.
Published: Sunday, November 20th, 2022 @ 8:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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You don't need to be a boring he/him anymore! Now you can wow your friends and jazz up your life with new winter catalog pronouns!
Published: Sunday, November 20th, 2022 @ 3:02 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local reports indicate that local father Jeffrey Knickerflogg ascended to legendary status Monday evening after he surprised his family by bringing home pizza for dinner.
Published: Sunday, November 20th, 2022 @ 2:44 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Babylon Bee has obtained the inside scoop regarding Donald J. Trump's big upcoming announcement, and is first to report that the 45th President of the United States bowled a perfect 300 in Wii Sports.
Published: Saturday, November 19th, 2022 @ 6:08 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After several days of vote counting, media outlets are now projecting that Joe Manchin will retain control of the Senate.
Published: Saturday, November 19th, 2022 @ 3:15 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Archaeologists have discovered glitter still hopelessly stuck in the carpet dating back to the first known Vacation Bible School in the year 150 A.D.
Published: Friday, November 18th, 2022 @ 6:24 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a bold move to help raise breast cancer awareness, actor Rainn Wilson has legally changed his name to "Booby McBoobface".
Published: Friday, November 18th, 2022 @ 8:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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There's only one reason people go to a Christian college: to find a spouse! Don't graduate empty-handed! Follow these tips and snag yourself a godly mate today!
Published: Thursday, November 17th, 2022 @ 6:44 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Multiple sources have confirmed that local man Dan Zilph's Instagram account exists solely to wish his wife "happy birthday" every year.
Published: Thursday, November 17th, 2022 @ 3:04 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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As civilization continues to decline, experts have now pinpointed the exact moment humanity reached its tipping point: January 16, 1999, when Batman: The Animated Series ended its run.
Published: Thursday, November 17th, 2022 @ 2:48 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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PALM BEACH, FL — Former President Trump's ambitious bid to be DeSantis's VP running mate in 2024 is off to a rocky start this week after Trump wrote a long missive criticizing Governor DeSantis with the incisive new nickname "Ron DeSanctimonious."
Published: Thursday, November 17th, 2022 @ 1:31 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After an intense competition, the winner of a local Miss America beauty pageant for a college scholarship was revealed to be the Patriarchy.
Published: Thursday, November 17th, 2022 @ 11:47 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The thousands of babies alive today because of the Dobbs ruling have apologized to Republicans for contributing to their lackluster midterm results.
Published: Thursday, November 17th, 2022 @ 10:56 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Senator-elect John Fetterman has finally realized the American dream by living with his parents until at least the age of 50 before smoothly transitioning into a cushy government job.
Published: Wednesday, November 16th, 2022 @ 4:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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When U-Haul announced an investment in a massive project in California, the state leadership's panic over continued population loss subsided.
Published: Wednesday, November 16th, 2022 @ 3:45 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Following the publication of an influential paper presented at an ecumenical conference exploring Isaac's troubled relationship with his father Abraham, most historians now believe that Isaac found excuses to avoid hikes, camping trips, and father-son wilderness outings
Published: Wednesday, November 16th, 2022 @ 1:34 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In an unexpected turn of events, Saturday Night Live is working on what is being anticipated by critics and viewers alike as its funniest episode in decades following a writers' boycott in protest of comedian Dave Chapelle hosting the show.
Published: Wednesday, November 16th, 2022 @ 1:12 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Wherever your political loyalties lie, you were probably disappointed in the result of the most recent election.
Published: Wednesday, November 16th, 2022 @ 7:59 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The 2022 midterm elections ended with a heap of disappointments and shattered expectations for the Republican party.
Published: Wednesday, November 16th, 2022 @ 7:40 am
By: Babylon Bee
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