As 2023 wound to a close, local man Luis Garcia decided to escape from the terrifying state of living in today's America by enjoying a nice, relaxing game of Fallout 3 on his gaming computer.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 9:09 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A new law passed in Canada this week required all men's room across the country to stock tampons in case Justin Trudeau pops in and happens to be on "that time of the month," sources confirmed Wednesday morning.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 6:37 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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As new studies reveal a significant decline in student literacy in the United States, experts examining the data have concluded the problem stems from there not being enough drag queen story hours in American libraries.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 4:49 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A local man was tragically rendered unable to brush his teeth after he mistakenly neglected to pay the monthly subscription fee on his smart electric toothbrush.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 2:52 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In 2023, it seemed that a war against women was happening. Roe v. Wade was repealed after 50 years of precedent. Governors and Legislatures across the country put the clamps on abortion.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 2:33 pm
By: Lib Campbell
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GROVELAND, IL - Pierce County's District Attorney has opened prosecution against an eight-year-old boy who reportedly terrorized two burglars robbing his parents' mansion.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 1:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local man Don Richardson revealed himself to be utterly dead inside after failing to shed a single tear while the congregation of First Baptist Church sang "O Holy Night".
Published: Friday, March 22nd, 2024 @ 5:18 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Famed Christian apologist and professor Dr. William Lane Craig irrefutably proved God's existence today by simply pointing to a plate of freshly made fish tacos.
Published: Thursday, March 21st, 2024 @ 8:06 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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What began as a fun-filled afternoon of living room hijinx ended in tragedy today, as a middle-aged father was left in intensive care at a local hospital after getting down on the floor to play with his young children.
Published: Thursday, March 21st, 2024 @ 5:21 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Former Congressman Ron Paul was spotted muttering nervously to himself today while standing in line to see Santa Claus at a nearby shopping mall, as he hoped this would finally be the year he would get what he wanted by asking for the 47th consecutive year for Santa to end the Fed
Published: Wednesday, March 20th, 2024 @ 10:50 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Taylor Swift has set the internet ablaze once again after a photographer caught the superstar out on a romantic date with Pop Tart Guy.
Published: Wednesday, March 20th, 2024 @ 1:13 am
By: Babylon Bee
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From the border to the economy, President Biden has accomplished feats in 2023 that no one ever saw coming. With so many incredible achievements for the Biden administration this year, narrowing them down was no easy task!
Published: Wednesday, March 20th, 2024 @ 12:37 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Massive waves have come crashing into the California coast as the Lord in His graciousness has sent ocean waters to wash away the sidewalk poop.
Published: Tuesday, March 19th, 2024 @ 10:05 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After falling into the depths of certain toasted doom, Pop Tart returned in power and glory to the land of the living as the newly minted "Pop Tart the White".
Published: Tuesday, March 19th, 2024 @ 9:31 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After suffering a record-tying 28th straight loss, basketball fans across the country and the other 29 NBA teams voted unanimously to demote the Detroit Pistons to the WNBA.
Published: Tuesday, March 19th, 2024 @ 12:33 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A local wife began training to join her regional women's hockey team when she discovered the grand prize for winners of the National Hockey League is a Stanley Cup.
Published: Monday, March 18th, 2024 @ 4:00 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Embattled former New York Congressman George Santos has landed on his feet following his ouster from the U.S. House of Representatives, with the announcement that he has been hired as a fact-checker at The New York Times.
Published: Monday, March 18th, 2024 @ 3:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With news of still more lewd U.S. Congress incidents circulating, a local man reported a mysterious encounter he had in which God agreed to spare the nation's capital from divine destruction if He finds just 10 congressional staffers who have not filmed a gay sex tape in the Capit
Published: Sunday, March 17th, 2024 @ 8:02 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a worldwide exclusive, The Babylon Bee has obtained a complete copy of disgraced billionaire Jeffrey Epstein's client list.
Published: Sunday, March 17th, 2024 @ 12:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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BP apprehensions of illegal immigrants at the northern U.S. border have jumped
Published: Sunday, March 17th, 2024 @ 6:35 am
By: Countrygirl1411
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A local man observed a peculiar late-night ritual this week, as his wife successfully put all of the children to bed, tidied up the kitchen early, and went upstairs to relax after a stressful day by settling into a hot bubble bath
Published: Saturday, March 16th, 2024 @ 11:46 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The New York Times has sounded the alarm, issuing a dire warning to the nation: involved and loving cartoon dads could be the catalyst for an epidemic of involved and loving dads in real life.
Published: Saturday, March 16th, 2024 @ 3:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a stunning act of humility, retired wrestler and two-time WWE Hall of Fame inductee Hulk Hogan went forward during the altar call at Indian Rocks Baptist Church to be baptized
Published: Friday, March 15th, 2024 @ 12:08 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Although the public has long suspected visitors of the infamous "Epstein Island" were a veritable who's-who of high-ranking public officials and Hollywood celebrities, newly released court documents show that convicted human trafficker Jeffrey Epstein had just one client: a black bar.
Published: Thursday, March 14th, 2024 @ 10:51 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local forty-year-old man Jim Nathanson is still trying to come to grips with the tragic reality that he never had the chance to be on the kids' game show Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?.
Published: Thursday, March 14th, 2024 @ 7:21 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Thanks to a study that went viral on social media, the world learned this past week about 'menu anxiety' - which is apparently the fear of having to order food off a menu.
Published: Monday, March 11th, 2024 @ 1:30 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Many people seem to not know this, but there are some really wonderful things about babies, and all you have to do is keep them alive to find out for yourself.
Published: Monday, March 11th, 2024 @ 12:28 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After a lengthy process to determine a new flag, the state of Minnesota unveiled its new official design, featuring a Muslim star and an inscription reading "From the River to the Sea, Dontcha Know."
Published: Monday, March 11th, 2024 @ 12:09 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The most popular show on Netflix for young children, CoComelon made a huge splash today releasing a new song about little boys putting on dresses to dance for grown men.
Published: Sunday, March 10th, 2024 @ 11:27 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a 4-3 decision, the Colorado Supreme Court will require Masterpiece Cakeshop owner Jack Phillips must bake a celebration cake honoring the Colorado Supreme Court's decision to remove Trump from the ballot.
Published: Sunday, March 10th, 2024 @ 2:27 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Popular Netflix children's show CoComelon released a powerful new episode teaching that four-year-old boys should put on dresses to dance for grown men while they take pictures.
Published: Sunday, March 10th, 2024 @ 2:04 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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following law would help in identifying illegal alien criminals
Published: Thursday, March 7th, 2024 @ 10:46 am
By: John Steed
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In a heroic effort to save American Democracy, the Colorado Supreme Court Has voted to prevent residents of Colorado from voting for their preferred candidate.
Published: Tuesday, March 5th, 2024 @ 10:49 am
By: Babylon Bee
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